As a living, breathing, non-porn woman, I can’t thank all of you enough for what you’re doing.

thank you

This generation’s excessive use of internet porn terrifies me. The constant influx of new bodies, new kinks, new faces and breasts and buttocks flashing on screens in an unending search for perfection and an ever-hotter sex object freaks me out beyond belief. I know what a guy does in his alone time isn’t my business, but in the end what scares me is this: I can’t compete with that.

I’m human. I’m one person. I can’t be edited or cropped or only shown at my best angle. I have stubble and creases and blemishes and veins, I’m not tanned and oiled and lubed up and prancing around in a thong all day. What I’m finding is that the young men I’m with, even the ones who claim I’m the most beautiful creature they’ve ever seen (and they do) aren’t aroused by just me. I could get completely naked, sit on his lap, put my real hands on him and kiss him with real lips, and I’m still second best. I can’t be opened in five tabs as a brunette and a redhead and with huge boobs and small ones and thinner and curvier and the rest. I’m stagnant, stationary, one being. And somehow that’s not sexy.

Women NEED [Fapstronauts]. We need to be sexy again. We need a guy who can look at his girlfriend, his fiancee, his wife, and find her attractive. I’m looking for that, and I hope I find it, because in the end, I can’t settle for less. I can’t waste my time trying to fix myself and deal with rejection and disappointment because he couldn’t stay away from a hundred other, new, sexier girls. It’s too heartbreaking.

So thank you, each and every one of you, for doing what you’re doing (or not doing, I should say). You’re getting back to normal, you’re standing up and saying to the world “Sex should be sexy! Men should want their women more than their computers!” You’re giving me hope that I’m good enough, that it’s okay for me to be who I am, and that I can have a normal and fulfilling sex life.

If you’re ever feeling weak, or considering going back to the cycle of bingeing and craving and self-loathing, stay strong for us girls. You’re the Prince Charmings of the 21st century, because if he could have stayed home and pulled up “princessXXX18.com” she’d still be locked in that tower. You’re a new breed of heroes, and I hope I can find someone like you to sweep me off my feet and mean it.

Thank you.

-Anonymous NoFap Fan

33 thoughts on “As a living, breathing, non-porn woman, I can’t thank all of you enough for what you’re doing.”

  1. first, you can say that because you are a girl, and it’s way more easy for you to have sexual relations (if you want to). Lots of guys, wich i’m part, live their lives without hope to have a relation with a girl because “we are too much this, or not enough that” so please stop to speack to “all of us”, you are just talking to mens that you can have sex with.

    segundo, it’s not because i look for porn that i dont know that a real sexual relation is made for the pleasure of both of us, with mutual acceptation.

  2. Thanks for liking us. However if you are so worried about competition then why not try to make yourself better too? If you feel you are not pretty enough then join a gym, get a boob job, wear makeup or work on whatever you are lacking. If you want men to like you then you should make sure that you are actually attractive to men. Simply complaining about pornography is not going to bring quality men in your life.

    1. @Mystery, your comment is completely distasteful and shallow. The whole point of her article is that women dont feel they can accept themselves the way they are. No matter how many times a women goes to the gym, she most likely will never look like the porn stars specially selected to act in these videos. And why should she get a boob job? Is that what you think women need to do in order o be attractive? Spend thousands of dollars to mutilate and change their bodies in order for you to want to be with them? Not cool.

    2. Wtf Mystery? Your comment is chauvinistic and off-color. “Better” is a subjective term. There are many individuals in the world who don’t value the same things you do, especially I might add in relation to boob jobs. I think you completely missed the point of this article.

  3. No, do not get a boob job.

    No, do not get a boob job.

    A real man who wants a real women will want the real you. Work on being the best version of yourself by all means, seek out a man who wants a virtuous friendship with you based not in physical escalations but intellectual and emotional escalation.

    Hint: you’ll find a man like this at church… specifically in small groups that discuss topics such as Theology of the Body.

    Good luck, make the most of what God made you to be.

  4. Mystery getting a boob job and lots of makeup sure isn’t going to bring quality men into our lives. It brings men who objectify women. That likely being porn addicts. No offense

  5. I literally heard this entire speech on BrainBuddy. This is the EXACT speech that I heard of. Now that I see that this is the girl that made that speech, I feel even MORE empowered and inspired! She’s so gorgeous!

  6. Thank you for your post. I am saddened by some of the comments. We live in an age in which sexual objectification is an epidemic. Sexual obsession and gratification is considered the only thing worth living for. Our world gives us this message every day, in every advertisement every movie, every tv show, every magazine cover, (except a few, like Atlantic and the New Yorker). I hope you will find a man who has made the journey beyond sexualization, and fantasy, who will connect with you as a person, rather than as an object of their personal gratification. Cheers, Bill

  7. Thank you for your encouraging words. I bet you are a cool person.

    But unfortunately I can’t quite come to like your post.

    ‘I can’t compete with that.’
    ‘ I can’t settle for less’
    ‘and I’m still second best’
    ‘I can’t waste my time trying to fix myself and deal with rejection and disappointment’
    ‘What I’m finding is that the young men I’m with, even the ones who claim I’m the most beautiful creature they’ve ever seen (and they do) !aren’t aroused by just me!’

    I don’t judge you, I don’t know you or what you have went through.
    But this post just shouts NARCISSIM in my face. Please don’t blame porn for your insecurities.

    As said, I bet you are chill and didn’t mean to convey the message I just read. Everbody wants to be attractive,sexy and the object of (sexual) adoration.

    Man somehow, eventhough your post isn’t negative, it rubs me real wrong.

    Men do this for themselves, nofap that is, not to spoil women. At least that’s how I see it.
    And nowadays, more and more women watch/read porn. Look at 50 shades of Grey, bona fide porn for women.

  8. i only look at it because i’m 47 year old unattractive nerdy guy who no women ever wanted except the ones i’m not attracted to.

    porn doesn’t control me–not by a long stretch (no pun intended). i sometimes set a certain amount of time to go without it (a few days, sometimes weeks or months) just to prove it to myself and it’s honestly no big deal (well…normal cycles you’d expect when breaking a patterned behavior, but i’m used to it). i usually go back because abstaining hasn’t really done anything for me and i have a very strict set of stuff i’ll look at. the idea that ppl will look for ever increasing datta dah to get the same high is a myth. well i dont look for weirder stuff, anyway. just stuff i like and it doesn’t take up alot of time in my day

    no one can tell me porn is why girls dont want me because they were rejecting me long before i even knwe that there was such a thing as porn so thats dumb

    to the author: don’t undersell yourself. get a competitive mind. think, “none of them can compete with me because i’m the real thing and they aren’t me.” trust me, if i could have a real girlfriend who was attractive to me and who valued the things i do, i would be married with kids by now and porn would be something i’d likely be riding my kids about on their iphones

    find yourself a man who at least genuinely likes you. then be confident and go ahead and compete confidently–not the competition that comes from insecurity, but from security. remember your edge: they aren’t you and they can’t compete with you. ever.

    (and yes, i’m tntionally missspelling and grammatical erros to play down my actual intelligent level and obscure my writing style which is usully the king’s inglish)

  9. Thanks so much for posting this. Beautifully written article that really focuses on the positive things we’re aspiring too. Was a source of inspiration just now when I was feeling week. 🙂

  10. The picture could be a picture to a porn movie,tbh. Not sure what to think about this website, doesn’t seem true to it’s incentive. (being new here)

  11. The picture IS a picture in a porn site. Agreed! this website, doesn’t seem true to it’s incentive. (being new here…also)

  12. Thanks. Sometimes this struggle feels like a black hole that swallows you up.
    As I struggle to see you for who you REALLY are, thank you for doing the same. Deception is easily believed.
    I’m tired of being a sucka.

  13. It’s true.
    Even porn gets unattractive over time.
    Right now for me I imagine, watching P would be less entertaining than subway surfers. :v I mean it though.
    It used to feel much more intense.
    You gradually build a tolerance to the quality, you end up watching 1080 and feeling slightly aroused.

  14. In my experience it isn’t a comparison of a real woman or person to the porn.

    They are not the same thing so no you can not compete. It isn’t about objectifying women on screen or in real life and that is what this girl seems to want.

    That is not healthy sexual activity either. Western society has more than porn causing a problem for healthy sexual activity.

  15. I’m not sure how I feel about a woman leading that as inspiration, yes its a struggle but there more to that perfection seeker than porn. It’s all over who can have the sleesiest outfit biggest boobs or butt and expose as much as possible. I respect all people who respect themselves. I’d love anyone who would love me equally and would see a love interest as gold.

  16. To the girl that posted this,
    Hey Ms, I hope my message finds you in good health.
    If it’s love that you’re after, then, first things first, premarital coitus is a proof that you’ll never get it. Let me ask a question: what is the purpose of your giving up the most sacred thing you have (i.e. your body) like this? If he loves you, then he won’t pursue physical pleasure with you, until he asks your hand for marriage, you say yes, and you both are married. This is what distinguishes us from animals, and, more importantly, this is what assures that he’s marrying you for YOU, not for your body—there are many bodies out there, but only one you.
    Thank you very much.

  17. This is merely your opinion, Sir/Madam. “Premarital coitus” is perfectly normal in many, mature, committed relationships and no one has the right to denigrate others for the choices they make when it comes to being ready to engage in sex with another person. Marriage is not a necessary precursor to sex. It does not have some magical validating property that makes a relationship genuine. Marriage is merely a symbol of commitment for some people; while for others, commitment is simply a deep held feeling we hold in our hearts. And yes, we are animals; no more special that the rest. This Übermensch distinction is what has led to the devastation of our fellow animals friends.

  18. Thank you so much! I have been struggling with arousal and was feeling very discouraged today as a female friend who has normally been very supportive said that my body is probably telling me something and that I should just masturbate. I felt so alone on this fapstronaut journey as she was my only confidant and support. Now I am seeking support here and your words are very encouraging.

    Yes I’m tempted. So very tempted, but I want to be a better man. I want to be like the man that you described.

  19. These are my concerns too, thanks for your message. I’m sure when you find the right guy the multiple variants of porn women will have no advantage over you.

  20. Jean-Gabriel MARTIN

    Thank you very much from France !

    All wee need is love 🙂

    Never forget that we are just one consciousness at certain point, Separation is an illusion caused by mental.

    Let’s love everyone for what they truly are.

  21. Your comment triggered me to go listen to a song my best friend showed me a few weeks ago called The Man I Want to Be by Chris Young. I bet you’d like it! And anyone else reading, if you like country music at all. We can go play that song when we feel like giving in to an urge. 🙂

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