Billie Eilish used porn at 11-years-old and says it “destroyed my brain”

Billie Eilish, a 19-year-old musician, bravely spoke publicly about struggling with porn use from the age of 11-years-old. Billie says that she “used to use a lot of porn” and was an “advocate” for porn use, thinking that it was “really cool” to talk about using porn as “one of the guys.”

Now, years later, Billie Eilish says that she thinks that porn “really destroyed my brain” and feels “incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn” growing up.

Billie Eilish described how she feels her heavy porn habit impacted her future sexual experiences: “The first few times I had sex, I was not saying ‘no’ to things that were not good. It’s because I thought that is what I supposed to be attracted to.”

She also described how she feels her porn use escalated into only watching “abusive BDSM.” She believes that the BDSM material led to sleep paralysis, night terrors, and nightmares. “It got to the point that I couldn’t watch anything else like unless if it was violent, I didn’t think it was attractive.”

“I’m so angry that porn is so loved. And I’m so angry at myself for thinking that it was okay.”

Billie Eilish recently dropped a new single, Male Fantasy, where she sings, “distract myself with pornography. I hate the way she looks at me. I can’t stand the dialogue. She would never be that satisfied. It’s a male fantasy. I’m going back to therapy.” The song was co-written with her brother, Finneas O’Connell.

We’re thankful that Billie Eilish decided to speak up about this issue because it’s a common misconception that women don’t ever struggle with porn use.

Photograph of Billie Eilish by Lars Crommelinck.