Basically I’m here to say that for this person, it totally and fully worked. All erectile dysfunction gone, (not a hint of premature ejaculation either!) I’m off hard mode, and sex is better than it has ever been.
This is going to be a bit rambling and littered with NSFW which I have marked up as per NoFap etiquette. If you want to ask me anything please do, but it might take me a while to respond, as I don’t really do reddit anymore. But I will check back tomorrow. I’m in the older demographic (40s), but was single for quite a while in the last few years, and definitely had a problem. Managed 2 long 100 day streaks before this one, which really feels like will now go on forever.
But I’m now on a different planet, and really there is truly no going back. Really, the counter doesn’t matter any more. I’m done. Fully rebooted. A couple of months ago I met a new woman and, in the last 6 weeks I’ve overcome all the things I was afraid of. ED overcome, and have managed to come from straight sex, and also from a handjob – the latter of which I have never done in my life before. I’ll admit I have not yet come from a blowjob, but that is more out of choice than because I can’t.
It was difficult at first, and the first time we had sex, I did suffer a little ED. Thanks to NoFap I could at least get it up, and maintain an erection, but I could not come, and she was a little worried as to what was going on, but we persevered, and over the next day and week it got better, now it’s better than it has ever been. This stuff works! I also told her about it, although I’ve not completely explained everything I used to do, I did explain that I decided not to fap again, and a little of the journey, and reasons why.
I would also like to say that I don’t suffer the feared chaser effect, but I think that’s really because I have had so many long streaks on hard mode that I am a little immune to it. Also have found that I am not really suffering from having O’d. The “nofap confidence” is still here. I’m really only suffering from being tired. from staying up late with the lady, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank this community, because although my journey is not all about NoFap, I could not have started to pull my way out of where I was without fixing this first. Fapstronauts I salute you. I feel I have totally won this, with your help. I’d almost forgotten about fapping and PMO – it was only when I remembered about NoFap on reddit that I thought to come here and post. OK – hope that came out as useful data point rather than an extended brag. It was never about the sex for me. And the benefits of connecting with people are by far the most important for me. I just wanted to report on those in this post.
Stay strong brothers and sisters!
The Same Fapstronaut’s 90 day Reboot Report
Just checking in at 91 days (whoop!). It’s my second streak. The first was 103, with a two week relapse between (no porn but enough in common with previous habit that I felt like I was spiraling back to the past)
So I’ve been doing this for the last 7 months or so. Thank you nofap, thank you, thank you! Doing nofap is the best thing I ever did. If you check my post history, you’ll see that I was towards the “PMO was taking over my life” side of the spectrum, and had probably kept me down for a number of years (now I realise). Basically I was self-medicating, and only half-living my life, essentially addicted, even though it wasn’t a many-times-a-day thing. Contributed to loss of a very long relationship.
It feels very different the second time around. I’m not so afraid that I will relapse. Still need to be vigilant, but last time round by this point I had realized I probably would. Clearly this doesn’t apply to all people in this community. We all have different goals, and are in different situations. I’m in the older category, and am generally not shy, but have always had this sort of fear about me in some situations, but certainly not all (No problems speaking in public, being the first to step forward etc.)
Anyway – that’s pretty much behind me now. It occurred to me the other day that I really don’t have time for PMO now. There are much more meaningful and fun things I would like to do with my time. So have I found the relationship of my dreams? Overcome every one of my fears? Of course not. But life is so different. 8 months ago I was lost, and sinking, starting to become a shut-in apart from at work. That has all changed.
Things I’ve done in the last 6 months across my two streaks. Not in any particular order
- Joined a band (with resulting new friends)
- Enjoying meeting new people and having fun with them.
- Have focus when I need it to do work.
- Gotten seriously into a new instrument I’ve always wanted to play.
- Love music again. This was the love of my life, and I had forgotten all about it.
- Fittest I’ve ever been (many people remark, wtf have you been doing? Keep doing it!)
- Lots more comfortable around women, actually had a few crazy nights, people coming back… but no sex… yet.
- Feel like I might just be able to do my job (this was getting out of control)
- Getting back in touch with old friends.
- Feeling the secrets start to disappear and beginning to live honestly. Feels so good. A lot more at ease with myself.
- And then there are the usual things mentioned on here – noticing beautiful things, eye contact, having more fun, having dreams again.
Overall though. I feel like I’m sort of rediscovering myself. Finally growing up, after having been stuck for about 7 years. I’ve missed out on some things. That’s the funniest thing – speaking to my friends I’m back in touch with, I now see what I missed out on years ago. Seriously I’m in my 40’s. but hey. That’s life. It’s a long journey, and facing the hard times is as useful as the nice things. I think really though that nofap is just one of those things which I needed to do to move towards a life that I’m actually happy with. It was really very hard to do, but I did it. The journey continues.
Sort of mundane this next bit – but because I’m unlikely to keep posting here… here are some books and films I consumed on the way that seem to go with my journey, possibly best done in the order I list, as latter ones contain triggers.
- The Matrix (even if you seen it loads of times, watch it as “the porn matrix”). Found this good one evening when I felt I was really fighting it.
- The Fix – Damien Thompson (easy interesting read on addictive behaviour)
- In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction – Gabor Mate (more hardcore… about relapsing drug addicts!)
- Power of Habit – Charles Duhigg (how to change a habit!)
- No more Mr Nice Guy – Robert Glover (this one didnt’ quite hit the mark, so I think I might try it again)
- Models – Mark Manson (Worth reading for the “sort your life out” parts -even if you are not trying to pick up women)
- Fight Club (come on!)
- Shame (film by Steve McQueen) – has triggers in it, but you’re going to have to face them triggers some time. If PMO has been a big problem for you, you ought to watch this at some point, but leave it until you feel you are able. Trust me that the context around the triggers is sobering.
Originally posted by NoFap Elder Throwfapthrow.