Agreed. Back on that topic, the fact that it’s tame compared to what we have seen before doesn’t make a difference. Despite the extremes of what I’ve seen before, the mildest of visual triggers give me a hard time now.
I guess that opens up a bigger topic of nudity in media. Is nudity or sex in media a trigger for you? (Asking the group as a whole) I find that when watching a movie or a TV show nudity does not trigger me as I can view it as part of the storyline and the outcome of the plot. Versus when I see nudity on social media it feels like a direct trigger. I agree that GoT the sex scenes are usually explicit and unnecessary, and the same goes for a lot of other HBO shows. What are your triggers??
Idk I never found the sex scenes or the nudity to be particularly sexy or triggering in the show. On the other hand my mom and stepdad stopped watching the show because of how much sex there was (and they have watched other shows and movies with sex in them, so it's not like they'd have a super low tolerance for that type of stuff), so I suppose the amount of nudity is pretty high. If you wanna play it safe, don't watch it. Otherwise you could watch an episode or two and see how that seems to affect you.
I watched the first episodes and found the naked scenes very triggering. I'm not watching it anymore.
Geeze, if I had a nickel for every time I have seen this dynamic played out on this forum. OP says, “Should I watch this show/go on this date/see this escort/do this sexually related thing?” The forum responds with a near unanimous “NO!,” but there’s always a few asshats, probably trying to justify their own shady compromises, who chime in with a “Technically it’s not bad for these reasons,” but it’s obvious, at least to me, that everyone knows better. But the OP goes ahead and does it anyway, because it’s what his body was planning to do and was just asking permission from his rational self, but was going to go ahead with it regardless. And then he comes back and says “Wow guys, you were right.” This is zero shade on you, @El Rey , this is not you being stupid or weak or evil or perverse in any unnatural measure, not any more than I and tens of thousands of us are. This is an observation on the perversity of human nature. Parent says the stove is hot, don’t touch it. Kid waits for parent’s back to turn, then touches it. For some reason, unless we experience it for ourselves, we believe we are immune to the consequences everyone else experienced and will experience. What I want to know is, can this process be arrested? Where in the process is the choice really made? And how can I make better choices sooner, how can I effectively communicate to others how to make better choices sooner? Don’t P, don’t M, don’t O, don’t edge, don’t use social media, don’t look at soft P, don’t use escorts, don’t date, don’t do any of that stuff. Monk mode. Hard mode. 60 days minimum, maybe a lot longer. Purge the stress from your life, only take good things into the mind, into the body, into the soul. Only then can you re-evaluate and see if you even want to return to the pleasures of those things, in moderation. That’s how it works.
You say this and then go all surprised pikachu face when some people - I'm sorry, 'asshats' - disagree with your personal worldview and have different triggers and/or goals. What's next, lock yourself into a basement so that you can make sure that you'll never see any triggering stuff? Chop off your dick so there's 0 chance of relapsing? Or if someone suggested you do those things, would you now become the asshat and start justifying you doing shady compromises instead of making sure you can get through it?
@ShadyPerson what? No. Monk mode 60 days, minimum. Maybe longer. Then re-evaluate what you want to reintroduce into your life. The entire premise is that P is detrimental to your life. In some way. Probably multiple ways. But you can’t quit P without quitting M and O as well. That’s super firm, almost rock solid, I have never, ever heard of anyone quitting P while actively Ming and/or Oing. Even the people in a relationship. It sucks, especially for the committed couples, but there has to be a temporary break in M and O in order to quit P, but the goal, especially for married couples, is to go back to O! Or there was a time when couples were heavily promoting karezza around here, which is basically mutual edging, no O for guy, but definitely sexual and definitely off limits for purposes of quitting P. Many people, especially single guys go back to M. I’ve heard of that being ok, not always, but it happens. Regardless, with exception to the SR dudebros who you seem to have confused me with, most people here want to return to some measure of healthy sexuality after they succeed in quitting P. To do that, however, you have to quit all sexual practices. It’s not a rule, it’s an observation of human nature. Guys who continue to date while trying to quit P, do not quit P. That’s because dating is on the sexual spectrum. You are meeting with this person with romantic/sexual intent, all those buttons in your brain are being pressed, it’s just too easy to turn that into P sub edging. And with respect to the SR dudebros, if they want to never go back to M or O, that’s also okay. I’m not trying to lay judgement on people. I’m sorry for calling you an asshat. Trying to justify your own behaviors is also part of self-discovery, part of the journey. That’s not being an asshat per se, that’s being human, but unfortunately your attempts to justify your own questionable behavior give hope to others trying to justify their questionable behavior, and you wind up holding one another back. Want to quit P? Then you can’t compromise with it. Hard mode first. Go back to your happy, ideal life later. It’s like we’re sitting in the hospital, recovering from surgery, and a guy asks if it’s okay to run a 5k. No, you idiot, you just had your insides cut open and exposed! Muscles were cut, you’ll bust your stitches, you’re in pain, you can’t do that! Everybody knows this. But then some guy, some hard charging athlete, says “no pain no gain, bro, pain is weakness leaving the body. Healthy people run 5k all the time. Now is the perfect time to train, bro!” So the dude, who wanted to run, goes and runs, and busts his stitches, and prolongs his recovery, and we all saw it coming. Listen to your €*&-&@+£ physical therapist, do your therapy, give it time to heal, and then run your 5k. Or in this case, physically and psychologically heal from porn addiction, then, with a better perception of what sex is even for, go date. Not now. Later.
I want to say this is about facing your demons, and not reacting to your impulses, is the way to true strenght and self mastery, avoiding is just a way to delay the battle and a way to weakness. That said, some restrictions at the beginning are not only warranted, but necessary. Like I can agree with this fully, and put emphasis on the return with moderation, avoidance forever is not good, self restriction as an early measure is a good thing. At some point, you will have to face the battle of comming across triggering stuff, and by triggering I mean, they will trigger the lust within you, and know that PMO is not a solution for that. But obviously is it better if you face that battle with a clearer mind and stronger resolve, than on a very early stage when it will most likely send you out of control and cause you to relapse. If I learned anything, is that you cannot avoid lust, even going down the street you may just see a bunch of extremely beautiful women, what are you gonna do? rip your eyes off just in case? No, is about dealing with lust, controlling your impulses, and most importantly, knowing that PMO is not an acceptable solution to scratch that itch.
Apologies, I did indeed mistake you for the OP. The language made it look to me that you had decided to abstain, watched GoT because it’s not “technically” porn, and realized it’s too much. I still say you can’t compromise with your addiction. Monk mode first, then go back to society. But even then, stuff like GoT might be too close to P for you to tolerate. Like both @ShadyPerson and @MrPriest said, you can’t shut yourself inside and never leave for fear you’ll see an attractive person. The other major trigger is stress, you don’t want to quit your job, shave your head, and move to the Himalayas, either. But you do need to take some extreme measures in the short term. Don’t watch the show everyone is watching, for instance.
I watched the first two episodes soon after they were first released on Sky and I just don't remember there being any naked scenes. I wouldn't be surprised if we're in it but all I remember is it being quite violent, Sean Bean being in it, and this dwarf who was constantly swearing. That was the thing that put off it. I don't mind swearing but it was weird to see a dwarf swearing so much.
No. You don’t encounter a visual trigger, immediately drop trou, and start feverishly wanking it like a coked out bonobo. But the image does stick with you, and you keep thinking about it, and makes you feel kind of good. Then you start remembering things you’ve seen that are a little more extreme, or if you’re a fantasizer, start modifying the scenario in your mind. You know something that could give you an even stronger hit. And then, when you’re lying alone in your bed at night, with nothing else to distract, you keep thinking about it and keep thinking about it, and you touch yourself. Whether it stops there or not, one little compromise makes a slightly larger compromise later on more likely, until you’re back to jerking and squeezing every day like a pathetic, brain fogged, socially awkward, partially self-deluded and completely depressed loser. Not worth it. I meant, were you avoiding PMO when you watched the first couple episodes of GoT? Because when I used heavily, I didn’t notice innuendo or nude scenes much, but on a long streak I notice everything.
Just finished watching the third episode of House of Dragons. Aside from the first episode I haven't seen any nudity or triggering scenes in this show so far. The series is set 200 years before the events in GoT and it follows the Tarragon (sic) family and their struggle to choose the next heir. So far the action scenes have been visceral and fun to watch. I enjoy the dynamic between Rhaenyra, her father, and her uncle Daemon. I think the casting for this series is great. Paddy Considine's character is indecisive and reclusive while Matt Smith's Daemon character is truly terrifying with or without his dragon. The one downfall of the series so far is there aren't any storylines on the ground level, away from the throne and the royal bloodlines. I'm hoping as the story progresses they can develop different characters that take on smaller roles that eventually link up with Rhaenyra and her family, a la Jon Snow and Sam Tully. That's the only thing I can feel that the show is missing so far. Overall I would give the show a 3.5/5 and I would recommend to anyone who's a fan of GoT or has had general interest in the show. Even with limited knowledge about the books I've been able to enjoy the characters and the story they've laid out for House of dragons. Also given that there is only one scene with nudity so far I think it's completely up to your own digression whether or not it would be an appropriate show to watch. If you are interested in watching I can continue to give mini updates if you would like me to give you a warning. Just looking for people to chat with about a new show
I dropped GoT after season five-ish. Over time I realized I started watching because a girl I liked watched it. The sexualized nature of it is probably bad for a person wanting to drop pornography.
