Hi, I wasn’t too sure if I should have introduced myself instead as my 1st journal entry since I have a feeling this is quite a long 1st post! My sincere apologies in advance if this is too long, and or if some of the details written below might act as “triggers” for some of you. So, to begin, I’m a 40+ man who’s been struggling with countless cycles of being addicted to PMO and short-to-mid periods of “abstinence” since I’ve been about 12-13 years old. That’s about 28 years-worth of collecting massive P stashes, deleting them, then rebuilding them even bigger (and more personalized) then the last ones…over and over again, but sprinkled with stretches of “energy bursts of creativity and life” during periods of abstinence. 28 years of numbing myself with PMO, and then overcompensating (mostly fueled with intense feelings of shame and guilt) by pushing myself to overachieve in almost every aspect of my life. Often times these spans of abstinence would exist simply because I just didn’t have access to a computer for long periods of time, the internet, or both. My longest streaks going without also happened during the final years of high-school and first years of college while playing football as a quarterback and working out on a daily basis. I guess you could call me a “high-functioning” addict (in a sense) since when I’m not in my binge-PMO phases, I can actually get stuff done. I’ve also struggled with social-anxiety in early adolescence and “on-and-off” in adulthood, but therapy has helped a lot to minimize it. I never got actual treatment for PMO however, this has always mostly remained “a secret”. This is the 1st time I go into depth spilling my guts about the subject. Even before knowing what NoFap was (I actually only discovered this term until a few weeks ago), I’ve been able to stop periodically PMO (or at least abstaining from viewing/collecting P here and there) for stretches of time…but I always end up relapsing. I’ve never gone without only MO for longer than maybe 2 weeks in my entire life. If I was able to abstain from P for a “long time” (maybe half a year or more), it’s almost always replaced by something else eventually (as a teen it could have been any picture of a beautiful woman really, semi or fully clothed it didn’t matter; cartoons like Betty and Veronica, Cat-woman on the 60’s Batman show, the underwear section of old Sears catalogues, etc). I always convinced myself as long as it’s not P then it’s OK (which eventually always leads to me going back to full-on PMO binges, rebuilding deleted stashes, etc). My most recent P free period was this year, and it lasted about 6 months (from Feb to July). During this time, I deleted my (approx. 6 TB) collection of pics, videos and my very own personal website I built myself (customized shortcut icons, animated gifs with custom thumbnails, custom wallpapers, graphics, animations, my favorite models organized by hair color/body type, etc) …Also, during this 6 month “P-free” stretch, I always would MO to my wife’s website exclusively (more on that later), and of course being intimate with her during our date nights. Minus the PMO, I’ve never been unfaithful to her, and the “P” I am addicted to is just your standard vanilla porn Spoiler: trigger (hetero scenes, some tender lesbian scenes, and solo nude pics of models/stars) I’ve never really escalated to extreme or disturbing stuff throughout all my years being addicted to PMO…to paint a simple picture, when I’m in my binge-hypnotized phase, it’s like all I want to do is drown myself completely surrounded, totally drunk and fully enveloped in an ocean of feminine beauty. A few days before my 41st birthday I relapsed really hard, and rebuilt with a vengeance yet another 4TB stash (mostly focusing on getting back all of my favorite pics and clips first) in just under 1 and half months, as a reward for my 6 months success of being P free. There are so many reasons I’m just so beyond fed-up of this life-draining addiction: a really deep realization of all the decades of me just wasting away enormous amounts of God-given creative energy, throwing away talents that could have otherwise been used for good, and the worst part of it all: totally numbing and suppressing the generous and empathetic heart that God has given me to help others, and for what? Yeah, thrown away to hours and hours and years and years of searching for P to fill the void I know in my head but not in my heart that only God can fill… Countless years of preferring to skip precious time with family and friends, developing new interests/hobbies and growing as a follower of Jesus, just so that I could customize (thousands) of thumbnails of beautiful women I would never meet, creating custom animated gifs/icons of favorites scenes and actresses/models/stars), all done in secrecy…years and years of holding on to this secret guilt + shame, of feeling like a complete hypocrite at church, and when relapsing into my addiction-induced zombie-version of myself who doesn’t have a care in the world about anyone else or anything, which I know deep down is the complete opposite of my true self. I want to give the best of myself to my wife and son, not cruising along 50% on auto-pilot, totally devoid of energy, compassion and creativity. For all of these reasons and more is what has finally led me to join this website and hope that I can finally break free with the help of this community. One night a few weeks ago, after my wife had gone to bed and I was “doing overtime” in our basement office, after having spent yet again hours gloriously edging + PMO multiple times, drowning myself in beauty until the feelings of guilt and shame outweighed the feelings of horniness, I started googling porn addiction help (like many times before), but this time I stumbled upon Your Brain On Porn for the 1st time, which then led me to this site. I also discovered during this help-searching session that one of my favorite “stars” had died tragically a few years ago due to a firearm accident during foreplay with her boyfriend and this totally destroyed me. I had always wondered why she didn’t have as many movies or picture sets as other popular stars, and now I know why. It’s like I still can’t get that out of my mind (and my heart) …all of these years MO to this beautiful PERSON, who is now gone…she died in a horrible accident while being intimate with her partner…it just crushes my soul. The contrast is actually disgusting to me actually (marrying intimacy with violence/death), and it now really feels evil that I was being “intimate” (in a digital-sense) with this woman, who has actually been deceased for a few years now without me knowing it at the time. It feels like I’ve been with a ghost all those times, in retrospect. I pray that God has mercy on her soul, and mine! This has made me realize by being addicted to this evil, and by sometimes even participating in funding the enemy’s massive P empire, I’m indirectly responsible for the continued enslavement of so many wonderful and beautiful women. I wish I was joining the fight to try and defeat this empire instead. As a child I was mostly neglected by my parents, and was fairly lonely growing up. My father used to be a pastor but was unfaithful to my mother with our babysitter and he was forced to leave the church when I was around the age of 11-12. Our family kind of broke down afterwards and my mother became more and more emotionally unstable and depressed. One night after a huge fight between my parents I witnessed her putting a kitchen knife to her chest and threatening to kill herself in front of my father, saying “You never loved me”, tears running down her face. I interjected between frightful sobs “but I love you mom” but she just (confusingly) laughed at me and essentially told me to “get lost”. It was around this time (12-13) that I really started to lose myself and escape into a world of fantasy to get away from all the pain. We didn’t have a computer and the internet didn’t really exist back then. I always had a special artistic talent in drawing since I was 3 years old, so I starting using this talent of mine to create for myself my very own “harem” of (very realistically drawn) beautiful, naked women: each one I would actually give a name, each one was “special”, and I remember focusing a lot on drawing their eyes, deeply looking into them while “brushing their hair” with my pencil, feeling very much loved by them all. After “MO ’ing” to these drawings, extreme guilt and disgust in myself would rush in and feeling that God couldn’t stand the sight of me for this sin, I’d periodically, and semi-reluctantly burn the whole harem, making me feel even more rejected, abandoned and depressed since these girls were all I had. I’d go out alone early or late at night while my family slept, into the dense forest behind our isolated country home and proceeded to burn each image (that took me days to complete) in an old metal bucket, praying, almost as an offering to God and vowing that I would never do it again. After a few times of repeating this on-off cycle (until around the age of 14), running away from home and lying in a ditch and just praying to God to take my life, I finally had had enough and started my first real “abstaining” period. I found some old weights left behind in the hay from the previous owners and started to put on muscle and getting fit. I also started to teach myself about football as well, reading various books and training at the QB position alone until I made the football team a year later as the starter. Since then, I’ve cycled through this pattern of overachieving mixed in with self-medicating myself with PMO. Now that I feel you might know a little bit more about myself and my story, my short-term objective is to mostly stop viewing and collecting P, first and foremost (Lite Mode), and hopefully graduate to standard mode (PMO altogether) eventually. I want to get my mojo back; get back into football shape and start eating well again. Long-gone are those healthy eating days from my football years. Throughout the years I slowly stopped working out and playing sports, as PMO started to take more and more room in my life. I now mostly feel weak, and I want to be a real MAN again, full of vigor and passion. I think that my main triggers are mostly when I’m feeling disrespected by my wife when we argue, or when I feel I’m underappreciated for all that I do. Our family relies on just my salary (my wife is a stay-at-home-mom to our 1 son), and I also do the lion’s share of all the household chores (interior + exterior). When I finally get to unwind after a long day of work, playing with my son, putting him to bed and finishing chores, my “me-time” is usually PMO time…as of now, it’s really the only thing so far that still has that “magical luster” and that can give me any kind of excitement. Everything else just seems dull in comparison. I sincerely want to discover who I really am without this addiction, “full-time”; I get small tastes of it during the abstaining periods of my cycles between addiction and purity, but I am really drawn to the thought of “what can I really do, who can I really be, with these shackles no longer tying me down” for good. My questions to you now are: 1) Should I abstain during my first 90 days from all “O”, even with my wife? I’d still would like to “be” with my wife, and she would as well). I told her a few days ago about this site, about my continuing struggle, and what I wanted to achieve short + long-term. She is going to help me by being available as much as possible, so I don’t resort to PMO. By the way, while we were engaged, we both opened up about our similar childhood + teen years, feelings of loneliness/not being understood and both having resorted to (softcore) porn to sooth ourselves, rather than searching for God for true healing. She has been set free from her struggle, but I still have not. Both of our father’s have been pastors as well, and we were both brought up in Christian homes where sex was a taboo subject in general, and was never talked about. 2) I’ve created a local, non-online “website” (for my own personal use) dedicated solely to my wife, with custom backgrounds, clips, graphics, pics, thumbnails, icons, etc. I get a lot of enjoyment from designing this site, and again the same feelings of being “bathed” in feminine beauty (hers) just entraps me for hours and hours if I get lost in the activity. She actually resembles a mix of 3 of my favorite stars “combined”. She is aware of this site and is ok with it (the 1st time I showed it to her she said “wow, it’s really beautiful"). Should I abstain from using this site during my first 90-day challenge as well? Should this be something I must get rid of “forever”? Finally, I also deeply hope, as another long-term goal of mine, that once I will be able to let God totally “re-ignite” the healthy qualities in me and finally shake off this addiction, and let my weary soul be re-invigorated with that masculine energy God has put in me from birth (that has mostly been left dormant and smothered by years of PMO), that I too, in turn, may be of service to some of you, and to be able to also in return offer words of encouragement and maybe some wisdom as well. To finish, even if I’m interpreting in a wrong way the lyrics of my favorite U2 song, “One”, I like to think that in the part quoted below, that Bono is taking on the voice of the Holy Spirit, and essentially telling the born-again listener, “You ask Me to come into your life, to change you, to save you…but then you go right ahead and make Me crawl instead, to smother out My gentle voice with your addiction”. You say love is a temple, love is a higher law Love is a temple, love is a higher law You ask me to enter, but then you make me crawl And I can't keep holding on to what you got, 'cause all you got is hurt One love One blood One life You got to do what you should One life With each other Sisters and brothers One life But we're not the same We get to carry each other, carry each other One, one One, one One One love, one life I’ve got one life to live, and I want to live it with my brothers and sisters, carrying each other, free from this addiction. I want to be “One” with Love, not lust, to be One with the SPIRIT that brings us true healing…to be FINALLY set free! I want you, SPIRIT, to soar into my soul forever, and for me to no longer make You “crawl” in the depths of my pain like a filthy serpent. I’m ready to face this hurt, and to let it all go, with You.
Welcome! Best wishes and Godspeed on your journey. You can find help here. It is possible to quit for good. Never stay down. E
Hey ephraimson, thanks for the encouragement. I noticed you also set as goals no tv/movies, videogames, youtube, social media, alcohol? Wow, that's quite a challenge. I hope you succeed. My plan is to read the "start here" stuff and some more journals, and then I hope to start one of the challenges, and start a journal myself. I hope to get back into working out too, and spending (wasting) less time on social media like you. I hope to eat healthier (low carb, high protein, cut the sweets) and fast once a week as well. How is that going for you?
The “Start Here” content is great. I think you’re onto some excellent strategies! I’ve been off social media and YouTube for the same length of time as my no PM streak. I have not watched TV or movies for over 2 years and I’m over 1 year no alcohol. The process has definitely been in stages!! I would say that one of the most impactful abstinences has been social media and YouTube. The amount of times that I spiraled due some t h 0 t (that word is censored for some reason) who is a friend of a friend is beyond counting. And YouTube has so much porn content that, for me, in the end the cons outweighed the pros. After getting over the YouTube withdrawals, I don’t miss it at all. It took a few weeks but I’m glad it’s gone. Low carb and intermittent fasting have been the second most impactful changes that I have made. It is actually difficult to know which had more impact. Overall my approach has been very holistic and breaking apart the sections seems to take away imperceptible pieces of the whole that will have unquantifiable effect. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. I am very grateful for my journey, though much of it has been spent in the gutter of porn/masturbation/alcohol addiction. I actually eat a low carb high fat diet. It has helped immensely. Specifically, however, the intermittent fasting has trained my delayed gratification ‘muscle.’ Not the easiest thing to train but perhaps one of the most crucial skills for maturation. The best thing I ever did in the process was: 1. Didn’t quit quitting. 2. Determine that I would pay anything to be free—the cost no longer mattered. And once the second thing took effect, I started finding victory. There is no longer a viable excuse, because I will go to any lengths to be free of porn for good. E
That was a HUGE first post, but I found myself drawn in to reading all of it since we have many parallel experiences in my life. If I seem presumptuous with some of the statements below, it's only because I identify with so many things you said, and feel that my experience may be of help to you. I started at a point where I was emotionally, psychologically and mentally spent about 5 months ago, and trod a difficult but rewarding path that is leading to healing in my life. Getting to the important things first, if your wife is aligned to a 90 reboot with no PMO, I would highly recommend it. After trying and failing to quit as many times as you (and I) have, something needs to shock you out of the p-fog which is a prevailing and near-permanent part of your life experience right now. I went for a "PM" only recovery because of my personal situation (details in my journal), so it took me a little longer to achieve notable recovery and restoration. I personally like using a counter because it helps to keep me motivated. Others use different approaches. Second, although your website is dedicated to your wife, I fear it could be a trigger to remembrances of your "other" website with porn. In order to maximize the effect of your reboot, you should try to break out of any vestiges of the old habits. You have clearly been through a lot, and porn has been an escape from all that; but know that there is a better path waiting to be discovered. If you are anything like me, this journey will become a discovery of who you really are. The self that has been smothered in a p-fog will finally be able to blossom and flourish, and you (and everyone around you) will be amazed at the changes. One last thought. There is another U2 song which has been helpful to me in recovery called "40" (Psalm 40). The words are amazing All the best, BtR
Hey ephraimson, that's amazing you are doing this. Congrats. I am now considering (when I finally set my goals/counter on here) to add to my abstinence list similar types of time-wasting activities. On my end, one of them is reading the news sites on my cellphone at night before bed (for sometimes hours), and endless FB scrolling, etc. I think that's a good way to train your "gratification muscle", as you say. I want to do the same! I also like your line "Don't quit quitting"...as soon as I can update my signature I think that's the quote I will use
Hi Bob_the_Rebuilder, That's intriguing that we share parallel experiences, I'm going to read your journal this weekend (along with ephraimson's). Do you mind me asking you what you think of Myers-Briggs? I know some people think its pseudo-science, but I identify with it immensely and helps me understand myself and others (and how different types interact and fit together) much better. My wife is ready for no PM for sure, and that includes her "website" as well, for 90 days. I wont delete it or anything, but I'll rar it up and give her the password. Not too sure about also skipping the "O" with her though, you think its something we should do? I know you say you highly recommend it, so I'll think about it. I don't know my official start date yet for the 90 days...I was thinking tomorrow Oct 1st, but to be honest I'm really struggling with deleting what is left from my (partially) deleted stash (been deleting some stuff all week long, and now I'm getting down to the "special" ones that kind of hurts thinking of trashing). I would love to be able to flourish, this p-fog as you say has clouded my real-self for far too long. I'm going to go listen to 40 right now. Do you listen to Collective Soul? They have some great songs, especially "You".
Since your wife is in the loop, I'd say discuss with her, and if you agree on PM-only, that's great too. Since my wife is not aware of my NoFap right now, and is quite active sexually speaking, I felt PM-only NoFap was best to keep her happy while still making progress on my goals. So far, it has worked out well. When I first started NoFap, I was in such a state of shock, that I didn't hesitate to delete my stash. It wasn't quite as big as yours, but it represented hours and hours of searching and collecting (I'm ashamed to say). I would strongly recommend that you delete everything- this addiction is very hard to beat, and you really need a clean break from it to make any headway. Some guys find it helpful to write a "Goodbye" letter to porn to add a level of finality to it. I do think Myers-Briggs is legit. I test out INTJ, and I'm curious if anything will change after NoFap. I have listened to a few Collective Soul songs. "Collection of Goods" is probably my favorite. I have to check out "You". Have a great weekend, and good luck with your journey!
I finally finished reading the "Getting Started" pdf tonight, good stuff...man what an eye-opener. I want my wife to read that as well. My goal is tomorrow while my son is having his afternoon nap, is to start reading some parts of your journals, watch a few clips from this site but also YBOP. I'm going to be very transparent here, I will be doing some "final goodbyes" to my favorites this weekend...during this farewell, I'm going to delete some more "Cream of the Crop", and in time, that expression will become "Cream of Crap"...Once I start my journal next week, I hope to post some "farewell letters" as well, in a way I guess I kind of need to do that sort of symbolic thing to move on. Also my wife and I will "rar up" her "website" together this weekend, she's going to be the one to add the password. As for the currently "semi-deleted" stash: the same thing, she's going to put a (randomly generated) password on each "rar-ed up" folder, and as I progress with my recovery I (and her) will delete them...one by one as time goes on. I want it to be made into some sort of "ceremony", so I really say "goodbye" to this trash in a way we'll remember. We plan on celebrating with a special night together (going to get my parents to babysit) after my (our) successful completion of 90 days no PM. I'm pumped: thinking positive right now! Once all that is done I hope to use some of the new-found creative energy to share some poetry. It's something I completely abandoned and would love to get back into it. Who knows where this can lead, maybe I'll even start painting again, or dusting the old acoustic guitar off. Man does this addiction make you waste so much time. @Bob_the_Rebuilder I added "40" to my playlist when I go out for walks (I officially started that up again tonight), and I can't believe I never "noticed" this U2 song before! Feels good right now, things are moving. In a few months (not to bite off more than I can chew for the moment) I hope to finally hit the weights. To anyone reading this, I really sincerely hope and pray that you will also find motivation and get things "in gear", to start your recovery journey. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
Ok so a change of plans for today... In my previous post I had said I was going to say my "last goodbyes", and that my wife and I were going to then rar what is left of the stash, to be deleted one by one throughout the coming months as I get stronger. Well, after spending time with my son this morning, I went for my daily walk. I have my playlist of uplifting music set to random, and the second song that came on was "Come to the Well" by Casting Crowns. I had spent the 1st song praying for help, for guidance and strength. The Well Casting Crowns Leave it all behind I have what you need But you keep on searchin' I've done all the work But you keep on workin' When you're runnin' on empty And you can't find the remedy Just come to the well You can spend your whole life Chasin' what's missing But that empty inside It just ain't gonna listen When nothing can satisfy And the world leaves you high and dry Just come to the well And all who thirst will thirst no more And all who search will find what their souls long for The world will try, but it can never fill Leave it all behind, and come to the well So bring me your heart No matter how broken Just come as you are When your last prayer is spoken Just rest in my arms a while You'll feel the change my child When you come to the well And all who thirst will thirst no more And all who search will find what their souls long for The world will try, but it can never fill So leave it all behind, and come to the well Yeah Leave it all behind The world will try, but it can never fill, leave it all behind And now that you're full Of love beyond measure Your joy's gonna flow Like a stream in the desert Soon all the world will see that living water is found in me 'Cause you came to the well And all who thirst will thirst no more And all who search will find what their souls long for The world will try, but it can never fill So leave it all behind, and come to the well Leave it all behind, leave it all behind Leave it all behind, leave it all behind, and come to the well I've listened to this song many times before, but this morning the words hit me in a different way. So I am listening to this song on a loop right now in the basement office while my wife and son are upstairs playing. So I just deleted the rest of the stash straight-out. Gone. I'm going to leave it behind. This morning I'm choosing to come to the well instead.
THAT is amazing! Huge first step- congratulations! I realize this must have been hard for you. Flashbacks and thoughts will come, but now you need to begin practicing thought control. This was one of the hardest parts for me (learning to stop the thoughts in their tracks before they become well-formed and develop into fantasies). Prayer is a great tool for this, but there is also a level of self-discipline involved. I made the mistake for years of just expecting God to bail me out with no effort on my part- it just doesn't work that way. Don't look back- you are on the right path, as long as you put the work in!
Welcome, I'm also new to the forum. Beautifully written first post. I really identify with your speaking about "feminine beauty" and what not. Makes me think of this verse, which I need to take to heart: Proverbs 6:25 25 Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes; Also, I think because of brain changes due to PMO everything about me has a heightened sense for physical beauty. I hope that over time it will effect me less. Good job deleting your stash. I would just create a "harem" of pornstar names to search for instead of downloading things. Well, I've done the download thing, but found it too time consuming and stopped some years ago. I'm married, my wife doesn't know. She doesn't have a strong sex drive, so I can go easily a week (or two?) without her caring. My goal is simply no PMO. If we hit the marriage bed, I think that will be good rewiring. I've found reading a few YBOP reboot stories each day is a big motivator. I've never been into sports or strength training, but I do hope to fill my time a bit with training and getting some muscle. I feel great when I'm consistent with it.
Hi Wilderness Wanderer, Hey that's good you never got into the downloading, serious waste of time. Do you think if you told your wife it would help, or make things harder? I hope you find some time training a little bit like you say. I'm just getting back into walking myself, it's a start. By the way I visited the link above to "Update Day Counter", chose yesterday as the date (Oct 1) but the counter doesn't appear in my signature. Do I have to wait a day for it to pop-up? Congrats on starting!
It'd devastate her. I don't think it would help. At this point, my goal is to defeat the sin and put it so far behind me that I can no longer see it in the rear-view mirror. I think you might have to ask a moderator for help. When I look at my signature in the editor, it already has an image in it with a special URL, probably using my user ID. I'm not sure how that's calculated. Thanks!
I was thinking of what you wrote quoted above during my morning walk, and it's so true. Like in the song "Come to the Well"; the well doesn't come to you, YOU have to get up, and GO TO the well yourself.
I understand you, same here: I don't want to ever look back myself, I've done it too many times in my life. For the signature: OK I got it, it works now. Thanks!
What's interesting is INFJ + INTJ are the two types to most identify/agree with Myers-Briggs. You know what, I was thinking the same thing: can our type possibly change when we are free of the addiction? I noticed that when I'm in the "binge-zombie" phase/cycle I'm usually super-stressed (the infamous INFJ "grip/loop"). During this time, my "shadow" self (unhealthy ESTP) loves to over-indulge in PMO, binge on junk-food without any restraint whatsoever (5 burgers and a few donuts, sure who cares! 2 bottles of wine all to myself? Yea, bring it on! etc). The worst part of my shadow self is I just don't care about people or their problems at all. The complete opposite of who I really am. Did you notice the same? Do you find yourself going into your "shadow" during difficult times, and more vulnerable to relapsing?
PMO has always been an escape from anxiety/stress for me, and I did become a different person during a PMO session. In those moments, I felt that I was being my authentic self and even fulfilling a destiny (since I deserved no better). I had been duped. I've since learned that it was contributing to the guilt/shame cycle that was keeping me trapped. Amazing how a little time out of the PMO fog will promote objective, sagacious thinking!
It's funny cause during my own PMO sessions, I'd tell myself the same kind of thing ("Now this is living", or "Ahh, this is where "it's at")...such a lie.
I should be starting my journal soon, so I might not be posting here anymore in the next few days, other than to respond to anyone who might write here. I just wanted to share something here this morning: While taking a walk last night, this song came on and I felt the need to post it here. To anyone who might read it, this is for you: Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead Yesterday is a promise that you've broken Don't close your eyes Don't close your eyes This is your life And today is all you've got now Yeah And today is all you'll ever have Don't close your eyes Don't close your eyes This is your life Are you who you want to be? This is your life Are you who you want to be? This is your life Is it everything you dreamed That it would be when the world was younger And you had everything to lose? Yesterday is a kid in the corner Yesterday is dead and over This is your life Are you who you want to be? This is your life Are you who you want to be? This is your life Is it everything you dreamed That it would be when the world was younger And you had everything to lose? Don't close your eyes Don't close your eyes Don't close your eyes Don't close your eyes Don't close your eyes This is your life Are you who you want to be? This is your life Are you who you want to be? Yeah This is your life Are you who you want to be? (Who you want to be, yeah?) This is your life Are you who you want to be? (Who you want to be?) This is your life Is it everything you dreamed That it would be when the world was younger And you had everything to lose? And you had everything to lose? Fight TODAY for your life, for your wonderful dreams. Forget about yesterday, don't worry about tomorrow. Today is all you have now. Are you who you want to be? Good news, YOU CAN DO IT! Your dreams can come true, don't ever give up. Every day is a new day, yesterday is DEAD and over. Today is a new day. This is YOUR life, fight for it!
