I approached 3 women today. It's a little better. I feel a progression in my confidence and I hesitate less when it comes to approaching a girl. I also experience fewer negative emotions in general. Still nothing concrete with a girl, but it's just a matter of time and luck if I continue on this path. I'll probably go back tomorrow and Friday. It's truly something that helps conquer fears and anxieties. I had forgotten how important this rule of daring with fear is. But sometimes, fear is just too overwhelming. So, you know you're going out, but you won't do anything. But you also know you'll go back tomorrow, and then, you might have fewer negative thoughts. All it takes is positive experiences for your brain to realize that no, you're not going to die. But also, yes, you can meet women on the street. And some women will find you attractive.
I had a drink with a friend last night, and we talked about this thing of approaching women on the street. I explained to her why I do it. Not letting my love life be dictated by an algorithm (Tinder), feeling of accomplishment, seeking a connection rather than just physical appearance. I told her that there are plenty of beautiful women on Tinder, but they have so many choices that... how do you create something knowing that she can have whatever she wants on that app? She receives so many messages from guys, who are you in all of this? My friend showed me her Tinder, it's crazy. She has 50 messages from guys waiting, and she doesn't respond except to those who are really worth it. This puts a lot of pressure on guys (what to say, how to present themselves in the best way). On the street, there are no problems in that regard. You can approach a woman with the mindset that, okay, she's beautiful, but you're looking for more than that. You're looking for a woman who's interested in you and invests as much as you do. You're looking for a relationship that's 50/50. You're looking to breathe in a system that suffocates you, to push yourself, to forge your character, to speak your mind. My friend completely agreed with me. In fact, if you're normal, you can approach women on the street, even if it's considered abnormal. The problem is that there are too many guys who start doing it out of frustration or hoping to solve their problems. Approaching women on the street will always be difficult. You approach this girl and you have to create something out of nothing. You're nothing in her eyes. That's why it's important to have a healthy and balanced life, friends, a job. Then, it becomes much less painful and more of a way to be happy and meet women.
Thing is if woman get online tinder attention, what is the difference with real cold approach, will she be interested in you ? Nowadays with all those dating app it makes it harder for men I think, would be interesting to read a study about this, the impact of dating apps on men.
Online dating is hard for men, real life cold approach is hard for men, real life dating is hard for men, everything is hard for men.
In the animal kingdom, males fight to mate with the females, the same applies to humans, only the strong will find girl friends, so men should try to build themselves as strong as possible.
We are not helping the man by denying the facts I stated, I got censored here for stating this, dont know why, why would anyone want to censor the truth ?
Like the saying goes, man dont have inherent value, men must build up their value, woman on the other hand always have value with minimum effort, women only need to take care of their body, have a breakeven job, maybe not even a job is required,love to have children, take care of the home, have some education, low body count, she can easily settle down if she wants to with these minimim standards, for men there are higher standards to be able to find a girlfriend or to settle. So we should not lie to the men, encourage them to build themselves as much as possible, tell them the harsh truth.
I approached a woman while going to see some friends yesterday, and she seemed very uncomfortable. I wasn't able to turn that discomfort into something positive. That's what bothers me the most right now: I'm like a sponge. I absorb both the positive and negative emotions of others. It's great in relationships, but when it comes to approaching a woman on the street, sometimes you have to be unaffected by the negative emotions of others in order to turn it into something more positive. It's about being able to continue radiating positive energy to women even if they're feeling awkward. Instead of absorbing their discomfort and becoming uncomfortable yourself... in that case, it's impossible to have a good time. I think it's related to my high level of anxiety yesterday. I tend to take these rejections personally. I'm not used to approaching women anymore, and I believe I'll need to develop my mental strength and self-confidence. I have no doubt that it will improve in the coming days if I keep taking action. Perhaps what I need is a positive experience with a woman I'm interested in to enter a virtuous cycle. I'm aware that ups and downs are part of what I signed up for, and the most important thing is to keep taking action. These are just experiences. Sometimes, you have to embrace both internal and external challenges to endure over time. That's my goal. I remember three years ago when I would go out alone, knowing that I would at least meet one girl. I had 3 dates per week. It was an incredible feeling of freedom. I've had some wonderful experiences with women I approached on the street in the past, even when I had less confidence and self-awareness. So deep down I believe It's possible. But yeah I forgot how hard approaching women is. Now I realize how much work I need to do in order to be free.
@Spirituss , is there a reason why you choose to cold approach in the streets, streets is the most difficult setting ? Aren't bars much better ? Let me explain what I mean with bar, a place where they sell drinks non alcoholic and alcoholic, where people can dance, but also chill outside without the loud music. I went to one of the places, observed the woman, lots of opportunities to cold approach that is if I had the courage, women standing in groups of two or three or four. Some woman are just chilling there, no smoking, only using non alcoholic drinks, I observe. It really depends on how the bars are setup, some are setup not good, the one I went to was setupped really good, the owner considered the needs of the visitors. I mean cold approach in other settings than the streets seems to be better ? Look for places where the setting is better than the streets ?
Ok, I thought you were challenging yourself to do only street cold approach, the most difficult setting, lol.
I haven't met any women yet. I made a few approaches last weekend that didn't lead to anything. I went out yesterday, but I didn't manage to approach anyone. I would tend to say it's difficult, but it doesn't affect my current mood. I continue to go out every day and come back home with nothing at all for the past two weeks. In my position, I think a lot of guys who approach women would think that their "game" isn't good or that they're doing something wrong. Strangely, not me. The only thing I would like to change is to take more action to increase my chances. I talked to a friend of mine who also approaches women on the street yesterday. I told him that not getting phone numbers doesn't necessarily mean you're doing things wrong. It's something he finds hard to hear. I think he's brainwashed by all these guys on YouTube who show off their results, and it causes frustration and a feeling of not being enough, of changing who he is, and constantly improving. Of course, if you approach a woman and you're not enjoying the moment and you're paralyzed, unable to show who you are, you can change that. I actually had this problem when I started cold approaching again after a long break. Which was normal I mean I wasn't used to it anymore. But the notion of progress eventually gets you lost and really screws you up. I don't know any guy who ended up fulfilled with this way of thinking. And in five years in the same city, I've met quite a few. Guys forget that approaching women on the street is and will always be difficult. And the level you consider yourself to be at isn't necessarily correlated with the results you'll get. There's a huge element of luck. You'll always find women who won't appreciate you no matter what you do. This notion of optimizing what you can optimize to get the most results is very vague and relative. Today, no one has been able to answer the question of what women like. Simply because they're humans with different tastes. Furthermore, talking about results when it comes to women shows how out of touch it can be compared to other aspects of life. And I believe that it's important at some point to regain a normal life. However, a normal life with friends who are not into personal development may not suit someone who wants to date women every week. I want to experience it again so approaching women is one of the ways that can lead me to date women regularly. I've observed several differences between myself three years ago and today. I suffer less because there's less comparison and I'm not feeling lost anymore. However, I take less action, maybe due to a lack of desire and meaning behind it all. That's what pushed me in the past. I used to approach 10 women a day when I was 21. Today, it's often 1 or 2... it doesn't stop me from wanting a relationship, but I think I no longer identify with all these concepts of game and seduction. It was a way for me to hold on to something during a period when I needed it. And to give meaning to my life in a way. For now it doesn't work. But I don't tell myself I should change something, except the lack of action. Which is liberating. I'm aware I won't meet anyone if I can't take action. No one is going to come. And the nightclubs... almost never worked for me lol. I'm going out today with the goal of approaching at least 5 women and see where it leads me. I really want to (re) explore all this.
Even confidence. What does it mean ? Self-confidence fluctuates over time. It depends on each situation and the person you are facing. No one has complete and unconditional self-confidence. You can’t believe in yourself every time and communicate that confidence around you. Otherwise, it means you have very little awareness of others' emotions, which can be concerning. Furthermore, some women, even many, do not really prioritize self-confidence. It’s well engrained in our brain that we should have self confidence, when it’s impossible to reach that. Because we’re human beings. We feel positive as well as negative emotions, self doubts, fears. that’s why I choose not to search for answers anymore. Action is key, I prefer that quote
Here is my issue at this point, I want a wife for the long haul, but my will to date is low. Dating seemed fun back in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s but it seems like a headache right here in 2023.
I got my first number in almost two weeks of approaching women almost every day, and I think I understand why I haven't been able to establish something solid with a woman in these past two weeks. When I used to approach women every day, I had a life-changing mindset that I would never see them again, so I might as well give it my all. I would approach these women with a strong personality and great conviction, with the intention of being direct. Approaching a woman on the street has always been something incredible for me. Even after years of doing it, I still see it as something unique and magical. So, it deserves a great conviction in how it's done. These past two weeks, I was only halfway there. I would ask questions like "What are you doing?" without caring about the answer... In short, I was in a state of just "being normal" rather than feeling a drive to build something with a woman. I think that's the problem for many guys. Maybe they don't put enough conviction into approaching women. They see it as something normal, which isn't. Now, I tell myself that I want to change the lives of the women I talk to, and that helps me feel a strong drive and conviction to create beautiful stories. That's what I managed to do today, and I will nurture this mindset in the coming days.
To approach a woman should be something she remembers. That's what I wanted to convey through this post. I would even go as far as saying it should change her perception of men. Telling myself this helps me speak to women with conviction
I have started meditation again. I think it can help me manage my emotions. As a highly sensitive meditation is helpful and I'm excited to see the differences in the coming weeks. I also eat healthy, and exercise 3 times a week. I decided to adopt a very healthy lifestyle, which helps me feel good on a daily basis. I have also bought some clothes that I love in recent weeks, paying attention to my style. However, in the past few days, I have realized that a healthy lifestyle is not enough. There are so many guys out there who have all of that but don't know how to talk to a woman. Taking care of oneself is not the only thing, and I admit that I was mistaken. now that I have started approaching women again I can put my finger on some things that I want to change. I heavily relied on the lifestyle aspect in the past two years, and it brought me some cool relationships with women I liked. But those relationships were based on chance. Today, I can't say that I am satisfied with my love life. If I look back, I have slept with 3 women this year. Two of these relationships lasted several months. It's not so much the number that bothers me. Having 3 relationships in a year is quite normal. But rather, it's the lack of initiative and choice in these relationships, the feeling of having few connections due to a lack of taking risks. I think deep down, I still have the belief that I am not truly appealing. Despite my experience and all these years, perhaps the fact that I have had very few results since I started approaching women again after my break has something to do with it. On the other hand, I am patient. I know I am heading in the right direction. If I look at things objectively, I have approached maybe 20 women since I started again, and I got a number that didn't lead to anything. It's quite normal for someone who is getting back into it after a long break. When I was approaching 50 women per week, I didn't have any issues with that. I knew that nothing mattered because I was giving my all every week. And I knew that every week I would meet at least one woman. Who doesn't meet a woman in 50 approaches? It's almost impossible, and even if that's the case, there's this feeling of having no regrets that erases any possible doubt. I struggle to be like I was before. My depression has made me more sensitive than before (I'm healed now). And I am working on turning that sensitivity into a real strength every day. Hence the need to optimize my lifestyle. Because too much sensitivity prevents me from being decisive in my life. Becoming a man takes time, but at least I am doing the best I can. I'm aware that I don't take action enough. I think I need to be patient and keep going.
