Hey guys, Guess I'm here to gain some hope and knowledge on how to stop. I'm really, really, new to this and don't hold out much hope... yet, I do have some hope. I'm 42, been doing this since I was 7. Habits are buried deep and yet I do enough reading to "neuroplasticity" or Brene Brown on Shame, love tED Talks, I have a serious bookshelf full of info and great books on topic, I've been talked into leading classes on the subject (yes they knew I was not recovered). I'm a Christian and have faith, I know the scriptures, yet apparently I'm refusing something, in denial, or perhaps not committed enough. I'm up against a wall. I think I use masturbation to feel better and hide my stress there... like a pill twice a day. And sometimes I binge. My wife is awesome and supportive. I guess I don't know what else to say. I'm here for hope and direction. Maybe when I can lift my head a little higher I can encourage someone else too. Sorry for the down tones, I'm grateful this sight is here and for all of you who are a part of it, already you've given me enough hope to start here. -B
Thank you for your note. Glad that you got some encouragement. What I can see of it, the whole thing boils down to embodiment; practising to stay present in sensing the body when in intimate contact with another. I never did completely realize how I numbed my body with the fapping. Which also means, that now I stopped, I will have to learn to tolerate the very intense sensations that life presents without fapping them away. Quite a challenge! Actually .. I guess the intense sensations are presented to us, so that we don't miss them .. nature (God?) has a way of letting itself/Himself known to us. But to just listen is not so easy often. And even though I hardly have any sexual experience with the other sex .. I have the impression the contact is already starting to change. I can just feel how my heart is being affected .. even now I am writing this. So please .. don't give up. The world needs as many nofappers as possible. Best wishes!
I know now what you mean by "intense sensations"! I never would have put it that way or even thought to reflect on or label how I was feeling. The sensations have always been so intolerable that I've always ran to porn. Just acknowledging it makes me feel more powerful. I read another older guys post and he referred to this NoFap as a new adventure, I think I can face the intense sensations as long as I know they will pass and that it will get easier, I just never had a name for it before. Of course I am barely 12hrs into this so I have no idea the benefits that lie ahead but I imagine you are 100% correct, this will change many of my relationships and experiences. Great job on your last 10 days, I have a much smaller goal since I've had zero luck stopping at all in the past. If I can do 7days then I will go 14 and we'll go from there. Love the counter in your sig I ran out and got my own. Have you started any new habits that I might find helpful?
