Why do I still have a feeling that revealing my virginity to a partner would be their dealbreaker?

I think that if someone breaks up with you over that, it's a sign that he/she is not the right partner for you. They are not worthy of your time or your love. You deserve better.

 

You don't know that, though. Frankly, I would think that a person may like the fact that you are a virgin. It shows that you have a lot of self-control. That's a very loyal trait to have -- and loyalty is a praiseworthy attribute.

 

It's a sad state of affairs in our society when we view virginity as a weakness and promiscuity as a strength.

 

If you are super worried about it, find a way to mention it early in the dating process. That way you don’t over invest in one another when there’s potential deal breakers laying around in your baggage. Of course it can’t be casually done, and it might be awkward as it could sound like you’re desperate to ditch your virginity. You could also run into someone who wants to exploit you, but here’s the reality of your situation as far as I see it.

1. Anxiety is usually worse than anything that actually happens.
2. More is made of virginity than need be.
3. Some women will be intimidated, thinking they need to make it an amazing first time for you.
4. If you are clear that you are focused on a long term relationship, your virginity will be less of an issue.

You are looking for a partner, to share life with, not a toy or service that you will rate after consuming. She should care more about you and her as a couple, not what you can do for her in the short term. So you can tell her you’re not going to be amazing and “rock her world” the first few times, because you’re going to be learning, and that’s going to be ok for a few reasons. It means she will be conscious about communication, that she can tell you what she wants and not deal with you being calibrated to another woman or women, but also, she’ll know there will be plenty of opportunity to experiment and improve.

Honestly, one of the biggest hurdles is breaking your expectations of sex based on porn. That’s like prepping for the UFC by watching a lot of kung-fu movies. There’s no way to forget porn, or to fully purge your expectations based on porn, but you do need to be aware that it’s different. Good sex looks different from what porn shows, it sounds different, it definitely feels different, and it’s usually quicker. Just communicate. That’s all I can recommend.

You’re going to be ok, 88.

 

Anyone who broke up with you for such a stupid reason is probably a degenerate. Besides, people with lay counts that are too high are more often than not poor relationship material. They have a harder time committing to relationships and are much more likely to cheat. Besides, our bodies are different at the end of the day; people respond in different ways an one has to take time to understand their partner's specific needs.

Agree 1000%.