I even had the funeral for my grandpa yesterday, and I really felt like i will take care of my family and make them proud and now I’m sitting in the corner of my room. Just what was i doing my whole life, just doing nothing important and only running away as soon as things got hard just like now. I’m again getting so angry at myself, I just can’t forgive myself for today. How can I be so stupid, no way my family would be proud of me knowing what I’m doing they all have so much expecations from me. I felt like dying from all this pressure from my own expectations and from my family I ran away to cope with porn as soon as i felt these emotions. I’m done with this, I don’t care anymore.
I think all of us are using P to cope with stress and/or trauma. I know I was. part of recovery is getting help with that stuff too - figuring out how to reduce it in your life, finding a therapist, eating healthier and living a better life. One of things that helps me is giving myself the excuse to take it easy / time off for PMO recovery. yknow like when celebrities go into treatment centers n stuff. I cant afford that but I can cancel some things and treat myself to some nice food if Im going through recovery from this awful addiction. It helps. Gotta just get back on the wagon. Its only defeat if you give up. dont be a slave to algorithms.
