What sex is like 5.5 months into recovery

This is graphic info but I'll share as I want to know if others are going through the same thing.

• Take a while to get hard – used to pop an erection pill but not doing that anymore
• Seem to bounce between 70-90% hard, using my own hand to get myself back up
• About 2-4 bursts of precum before I get fully hard
• I can last forever with handjobs and oral sex if I stop her every few seconds
• With a condom on, I struggle to last more than 1 minute for round 1
• After waiting about 20-30 mins, round 2 is a mystery. Sometimes less than a minute, at absolute best 5 minutes going very slow.
• And when I O, I don't get an euphoric rush. It feels good but a 1-2 on the pleasure scale when it used to be 11 out of 10.
• Sometimes I go right into a flatline after

Had some random erections this month which is huge. So hopefully, this painful and embarrassing reboot will end soon and I can look forward to having sex again.

Is this the story for you long rebooters too?

 

Depends on the level of damage.

It is; there are different modes. I'm seeing improvements every month. The science around this is still very poor so we have to find what works for us. Sex doesn't flood the brain like a PMO binge. I believe I'm at the stage where sex helps. Each to their own. I recovered before with this approach and I will do again.

 

I agree. That's why I don't PMO lol.

 

I'm 37.

• Started watching porn when I was a teen
• By 19 I had full on PIED. Couldn't get an erection for women no matter what
• Got high-speed internet porn around 15 and then it became a regular habit until 2014
• At this point, I'd lost my natural sex drive for women and only craved porn
• I was a broken man pretty much all my twenties as I felt that my ED was caused by damage to pharma drugs I used to take. I lived just waiting to die – hoping a miracle would cure me.
• I got a lifeline in 2013 when I found that ted talk - FINALLY an answer
• But I've been up and down on this journey for ages.
• I've rebooted and seen huge gains and then gone back. Gone back because I thought I could, gone back because fuck it, gone back because I thought it might have all been in my head when in truth – it was just the addict mind wanting a porn fix as I had some libido
• I never knew about paws – never knew that was a thing and it wasn't talked about when I did my research into this years and years ago
• I dismissed a lot of talk about paws and still for a while, thinking everyone was talking shite and blaming porn for their poor mental health
• I was scraping by having sex and other things but after Covid, I was shocked at how mentally ill I was. I had pieced together the puzzle. Every time I went crazy twice a year... it was PAWS. Reading about paws explained everything and I've been incredibly sad the last few months as I can't belive how dumb I was not to notice this. I just thought was anxiety because I'm an anxious person
• I had become an intermittent user since 2013, an intermittent user with addiction brain changse which is beyond bad. I started healing, and then went back when paws kicked in. So I've basically been in flatline for most of my adult life! Without even knowing it. It sounds so simple and stupid but what can i can, I've struggled with life.
• I've had some successful sex in the last few years if you can call it that. It's very nerce-wracking and stressfull
• Since October 22nd, I feel like I've finally kicked this. I hate porn so much. It's taken so much from me and given me nothing.

 

I hear ya man but sex is still a disaster and I leave women and myself very disappointed. I don't feel good after it. And it shouldn't make you angry – shouldn't it give you hope that I'm recovering after nearly 20 years of porn ruining me? You will start seeing improvements soon.

I know the feeling but I seek out success stories as they inspired me.

 

Thanks for sharing! My longest hard mode streak is 90 days. My longest no-porn streak was 1 year, but they're might have been some Instagram peeking and I was edging every morning in the shower! When I stopped edging, that's when the anxiety went absolutely nuts. I guess I only started taking nofap seriously 4 years ago. Before that, I had one foot in and one foot out. Which is basically out.