It usually happens that I piss someone off at work, and then that person starts gossiping/making fun of me with other coworkers, right in front of my face not even trying to hide it. Then, every person who has ever had a quarrel with me hops on the opportunity to get a kick in. 100% male btw. I don't really notice it, because I don't listen to conversations that have a toxic-whispered tone to them, and its my presumption that men aren't going to sit around and whisper like middle school girls, but then I even get made fun of for not noticing that they are talking about me. Then when I come around to pay attention (their body language and glances are BEGGING me to pay attention), at that point I don't value the friendship of such people to say anything to defend myself. In the moment I'm in a state of shock that people act this way, but when I get home I wonder how I didn't punch some of these guys in the jaw. What am I missing here? Do coworkers talk about me because its fun and they are bored? Or should I heed their warnings? What a joke honestly.
Yeah, they absolutely do that. In social circle if you are the kind who comes across as aloof, awkward, or whatever, they do gang up on you. If you can't fit in, you will have to put up with them. Most probably they consider you a loser at the moment, the only way you can change that perception is by proving your competitiveness at work. Onc they notice that, that bullying will be replaced with respect.
Conform or confront them. No guarantee it will work, in that case just look for a new job with less toxic environment. Been there and it has been one of the the wort experiences of my life. Not worth it. Nope, they'll probably get jealous and continue their behavior.
Definitely depends on the job. When I was doing construction and could lift more than anyone else as a rookie, it intimidated them and did not help. But at my current job, they respect good work but at the same time will let me be the jackass, so yeah you're right my options are either conform or confront.
I`ve been through a couple of jobs where the people were nasty I stayed for as long as I could, and then jumped out. Now I`m starting a job where I don`t make as much, but I pretty much work by myself. To be honest with you I haven`t worked much in life, and I can`t understand how people put up with the everyday strain in some of the jobs I had. I`ve been a cashier and modest cleaner for the last five years. Prior I did some office work for a very short period. I`m ashamed that I lived off my mother`s back all this time. So, now every paycheck goes to her. But, it wasn`t entirely out of laziness I`ve been diagnosed with a mental disorder since I was 19. I`m kind of a little slow if you know what I mean..
Don't spend any time thinking about that. Just go in, do a good job and go home. At home, reboot and be training. Come up with a plan to get to wealth.
True, 100% true. But at the same time, there is a certain necessity to be friendly and make relationships with people.
Seems like a toxic work enviroment. Not your fault. If possible try and find another job. Been lucky i guess.. On the jobs i have been on everyone were nice despite me being akward and making mistakes. (Asperger/ADD). School was worse.
But u should still stand up for yourself bro, make fun of the one who mostly starts this bs instead, find some flaws in him and expose them to the group that is making fun of you. Don’t be scared to tell them you are gonna feel better afterwards that you don’t let them talk about you that way!
Yeah man, self respect. I'm starting to figure that out a little, though when it is a big group versus one its kind of too morose to bear. Also, talking smack still seems like a trite pecking-order thing to me ("you little sissies"). The one guy who was starting the most of the stuff I got decently angry with because he was really attacking my honor, so I didn't hide my strong inclination to beat his ass in a fair fight (in my head I thought, "the only way me and this guy will get along is if I punch his face"). Since then he has stopped? Maybe I intimidated him, maybe he just understood something about me that he didn't before. Obviously that is coming off a little too strong, but hey, we working on it.
That’s good bro i saw u said u lifted more than most construction workers so use that advantage to show u are capable of making them shut up haha… I’ve experienced this bs too in working places my friend.. People just want try to pick on someone who does not match their criteria…
This has been my experience too. You'd think grown men wouldn't sit and cry and talk shit like little girls, but they do. Moreso than women sometimes. It's so disgusting and not even worth wasting your energy on. 100% male work places or male dominated workplaces are extremely toxic especially for those who are naturally withdrawn and and quite. They see you as weak so they need to establish dominance quickly. I'd say you're doing nothing wrong, but idk what you're doing. At my job I don't change myself for these people. As long as it won't get me fired I don't care. I am who I am and I can't be anyone else. I also made it clear if someone has a problem with me they are more than welcome to talk to me about it, because I'm not gay and I'm not a female I don't need to sow seeds behind someones back. I deal with my problems head on. If its not worth dealing with then I don't act on it. I live peacefully at work now and they warmed up to me, though I still keep them at an arms length and put on an act when I'm there.
No, it doesn't matter. Just go in, give them a good effort, and make plans in your off-time for how to get ahead.
Right, they are sowing seeds in the background. If I have an issue, you’ll know about it, because I have balls, I’m not gonna make hints and talk with a passive agenda. Each person has to chose how they adapt I guess.
So fk true bro u said it perfectly! I hate when people do this so much just tell me straight up what’s the problem instead of talking shit passively!
What kind of work do you do? I'd say just focus on your work and that's it. Just do the best you can at your job, and that's all that really matters anyways