So my girlfriend broke up with me yesterday after 4 years because I felt so guilty about the porn I was watching I had to tell her everything I’ve done and it was too much. She gave me many opportunities to come clean but I was too scared to admit it to my self and her. I watched porn and masterbated over her friends and almost every woman I met I sexualise women so horribly and I want to stop and be better I never want to watch porn or masterbate over any woman who has not consented again. I never want to sexualise women again. My girlfriend was perfect but I always wanted to masterbate over other women I regret everything and I love her so much I feel lost and devastated. I was hoping to find help here and some advice on how this works and if anyone knows free support groups where I can talk to men. I don’t have much money and I had to cut contact with friends and family who were not good to me. So I feel very alone so even just to make some friends who are likeminded and decent and I can be honest with would be great.
@Tookanarrowtotheknee This was a really depressing post to read, to be honest. To lose your relationship of 4 years because of an crappy and unnecessary addiction is very sad. I feel sorry for ya man! It's very unfortunate that your brain won this fight instead of your girlfriend. Those high dopamine kicks the brain releases from too much exposure to porn, together with masturbation and orgasm is hella strong! I can understand that you have had and has a hard time with this struggle and regret but it's even more sad that it would end this way. I hope this community are able to give you the support you need to get rid of that crappy addiction of yours, and maybe one day your girlfriend will get back to you because she sees the effort you have put in to really change, who knows? I wish you luck!
Hey man, I am truly sorry that you are going through this in your life. I can only imagine the pain that you are going through and in some level, as I am sure many of us in this forum do, I connect with you in that pain. The urges are horrible, and that feeling of letting your partner down is the worst, the guilt is just heartwrenching. I am new to this forum and have not completed my journey, but I hope that you can find what you are looking for in this forum among likeminded people. I can only offer my support and an ear to listen. Best of luck my friend, stay strong.
You could check out a 12 step program such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), and there are several others. Their program is free (donate when/if you want) and there are in-person meetings in most urban areas in all states, and lots of online meetings. Can google them or I can send you their link.
