I go through some days without much energy at all. Days that I wish would just pass me by without issue. Dragging my feet through life and growing bitter at a smiling face. That’s where it should stop before I go down that road, picking apart any joy I see. I’m living not only in my head, but my ego. The one that tells me to indulge, to quit, and to avoid. To watch this porn, saying that women are all like this. To say it isn’t worth trusting someone, when I wished someone trusted me. I’m a liar to say I love being alone, that I don’t need anyone else. When I say that to myself, there is always hesitation. Throwing my hands in the air and deciding to quit. I’m afraid I will be rejected, humiliated, and even beaten up or killed. The part of yourself that shouldn’t care is that of your own fears. Instead of saying it all doesn’t matter, I say that where I am in my little corner is where I am to be. I have things to do in life and thinking about them won’t make them go away. If I want to be accepted in life, to feel that I have a place. I must show that I care about the place I’ve been given. There are always things to do, the days never stop until they do for you and for me. Best of luck.
