So this is really the only thing that is stopping me… I can get threw hours without looking up and doing PMO… It’s just the chaser effect is driving me nuts. More importantly it’s the rush of the feeling that just doesn’t stop. For anybody on high streaks how do you beat it and deal with it? I’ve improve my life so much more lately, taking the right steps, and praying allot. I feel like if I didn’t have this problem I would well flourished in life. I’m still on edge whenever I see Woman with revealing clothing, it’s like my mind stops, my voice becomes dim and I’m not sure why it’s happening. I wish I could be that guy that is just relentless, but I am who I am.
I've had the chaser effect as well (many many times), after PMO the images feel like massive splinters jammed in the brain. After a few days no PMO (or even just MO to release), these feelings usually fade away into background noise. But I do agree it's really annoying in the moment. In my experience you just have to ride the wave out. If it means a few nights with little to no sleep from the flashbacks, well then so be it. I'd rather deal with that.
Hi, I'd like to learn what the chaser effect is? When I watched porn, I'd sometimes get dreams with pornographic imagery. I've stopped watching porn and no longer get such dreams but when I fantasize about women, the fantasy goes in the direction of the porn I used to watch. Is there a way to get over this?
The chaser effect is when you finish one PMO session, the "high" is still not satisfied so there are urges to go back to it again 5 minutes later, and again, over an over, thus the really shitty loop. This continues until there's no energy left. I noticed after a while into abstinence I get sudden dreams and flashbacks about porn and even just non-explicit provocative stuff, sometimes ending up in wet dreams. I in fact got my first wet dream ever when I first abstained for about 2 weeks. Don't worry about the fantasizing, I'd say it's normal if you suddenly quit porn. The "sexual energy" will still be there as it's not being released into PMO. However with enough abstinence the fantasizing will eventually fade. If you're quitting PMO after a long time of addiction (10 years using PMO for me) then these things are to be expected. Sudden changes in habits I guess causes sudden imbalances in emotions, but it will go back into steady state after a while (even if it takes a few months, or years).
Oh okay, yeah I think I've had this in the past. Especially when I was hooked to anal porn during the beginning of the pandemic. Thankfully, I've not had this issue for a while but the dreams and wild fantasies are bugging me. I don;t want them to drive my decision making when interacting romantically with women. Porn has caused me to seek out escorts who provided anal and I wanted to replicate with them what I'd seen in porn, but could never do it. How do I unplug my mind from a fetish? Is there a way?
Tldr; Porn-induced fetishes can be faded with abstinence. Spoiler: Trigger Warning It looks like here the anal fetish is porn-induced. Usually that means that if you stop watching anal, then the fetish will "starve" and go back to normal before. For me I had a massive navel fetish (fingering, licking, etc.) since as long as I can remember, and that's all I cared about during my time in PMO. When I stopped PMO, I noticed after a few months that I started to care about the entire woman's body. Breasts suddenly became extremely attractive for the first time in my life, I couldn't believe it. These days on a good nofap streak I get extremely turned on even by the outline of well-defined breasts behind clothing. For me I guess that's me starving the fetish and going back to normal, except I never lived that normal because I was constantly PMOing to navel fetish stuff. It still slightly turns me on with a good bikini model, but it's no longer the focus, instead it's a supplement. Porn-induced fetishes CAN be faded with abstinence, but it's going to take time.
Thank you for sharing, this is very helpful. I no longer watch porn, at least I haven't for some time but I'll keep focusing and viewing women as more than just the parts I find sexy. It's a pity the porn industry controls the narrative and promotes kinks and fetishes as normal sexual behavior even in mainstream media. This is probably destroying an entire generation of young men and women into believing weird sex is normal and not degrading. Who'll take care of them when reality bites back and their lives start disintegrating from the shame, horror and disgust? Anyway, sorry for the rant
I'm sure there's many of us here who are angry at having the quality of our lives reduced by a shadowy industry focused on exploitation and profit. And they go unpunished!
Absolutely. 100%. I started porn when I was around 11 or 12, about the same time I discovered masturbating. Now I fucking hate porn, the reason why I stopped is because I saw something absolutely disgusting (very bad thumbnails, ads, etc.) and it completely put me off porn and I suddenly saw the danger and the true nature of how fucking deprived the porn industry can be. Sometimes in a video (even just on Youtube) I think "gee she seems a bit young" and instantly click off, feeling like complete fucking shit. I don't know if it's just me getting older (I'm 22 now) and I just see 18 year olds as younger, but it's still just makes me feel fucked up. It took me a long time afterwards to finally quit porn all together, and the shame/anxiety after quitting has been completely through the roof, self-blame for everything, even thoughts of self-harm, etc. That's one of the driving forces of me not PMOing. You just don't know what you're going to see on the internet, people (I use that term somewhat loosely) can upload anything anywhere, just moments away from "jumpscaring" by NSFL shit while scrolling. I used to have a strong hentai addiction because of how far it can easily escalate (because it's fictional), and unfortunately I escalated to extreme BDSM and torture genres quite quickly (tentacles and even drills going into the navel). I decided to stop when I stumbled across loli multiple times (one was in a comic and I instantly clicked off when I saw it, and the rest were thumbnails). The hentai comic I saw I even wanted to see what they were saying (as it was all in a different language), so I copied and pasted part of the text to an image translator. Then of course the next page had fucking loli in it and never went back there again. Sometimes (rarely these days) when I'm using Psub, just typing up "bikini girl" in google images, 1 in 200 images would have an underaged girl, because the internet is fucked up, and it just makes me feel completely sick afterwards. When I stumbled across the worst thumbnail while scrolling I almost threw up afterwards. Anyway sorry for this, but I just finally needed to get this shit off my chest that's been fucking me completely up for the past year or so. I told my parents everything, had one of the biggest breakdowns in my life, and partially told anyone else I trust in my family (told them the worst bits). It helped a lot. At one point I was crying every day couldn't eat for a few days because of the extreme shame, paranoia, over-thinking, everything. Edit: I just remembered when I was about 13 or 14, I looked up "little einsteins" (it was a kids cartoon show I remember watching on TV) on rule34. I remember looking at loli (even commenting on one of the images) and then leaving, only to see that genre once again almost a decade later. For fucks sake. I also remember typing up "14 year old in bikini" around that time as well, as I was also 14. I also suddenly remember back then watching a Youtube video showing a girl my age (so about 12/13) showing off her navel. I didn't think anything bad back then, but now a decade later it's just biting me in the ass. After quitting, everything I've seen from the last decade is making me feel the all-time worst. I have no excuses at all, in fact all this is just awful. I just need to say it. I wish I never got into porn, but it is what it is. If my life is ruined from this, then at least I would warn everyone else not to use it, because it is just extremely fucked up with no end. If I have kids myself, I will be extremely strict on them to never fall into this never ending hell hole, I don't want them doing the same mistakes I've made. Thanks for reading. Fuck porn.
For me it's come through recoginising for what it is; a reliable urge to act out again. For me it happens after sex with orgasm, too - the day after. It's a reinforcement of the previous act, making me want it again. I've noticed that when I reset I would tend to experience urges again after certain points; 7 days, 16 days, 24 days... This meant that I could prepare for it and live my life accordingly, keeping myself safe until the urge goes. Riding the wave is a helpful thing to do. Basicaly you acknowledge the feeling is there but you don't act on it. You can distract yourself, do something positive, change something, knowing that it will pass.
The Chaser Effect is why I think shortly after relapsing there needs to be a LOT more effort for pulling out of the gravitational pull if you like, breaking orbit or what have you. The number of days in those first weeks, however many that is for the person is NOT the same as the rest of the time, it's much harder. We might say guys that can't ever get past a few days like less than a week are really continuously experiencing that effect. We don't know but people who stop posting and then come back like months or years later probably couldn't find themselves out of that and later maybe create a new login, I have done that over the years. A while back I made a little list in my journal of things I would do if I relapsed or even have one slip with virtually no edging at this point, though of course I have no intention of doing so. Between paying for professional services (one thing I'd try is cryotherapy, very short term exposure to -200F degrees) and personal disciplines I would say like five times the effort of normal sort of maintenance practices is needed during that period to break out of it, and right now I'm doing about an hour and a half of basic stuff like that per day. Though it's not necessarily about amount of time spent basically I think that much more energy and resources is required to get out of that mind (and body) state.
Here’s my theory: We are physically and mentally designed to have and enjoy sex. We’re warm blooded mammals so we crave intimacy oxytocin etc (unless we’re psychopathic) Porn and escorts are a cheat to get some of the high sex gives us but is really short lived with little or no connection. No general sense of accomplishment or bonding. So we still crave what’s missing.
Yeah but we have to learn to live without having that sexual cheat code. Sometimes in life you won't always be able to have sex due to health reasons or other. I believe Masturbation to be P lite. So I'm also abstaining from that now forever. I've been so much happier without PMO.
Masterbation to be P lite? Sorry I do t understand what you mean. I think we’re best off trying to find a legitimate partner or at least f buddy. Porn never helps. But I’m allowing myself 1-2 per week to fantasy if generally horny and not just as a way of coping. But I’ll make sure I’ve used that testosterone for sports or chatting up women before I allow this. I just find bottling it up for as long as I can handle to end in a blow out personally. I get the whole retention and harnessing the energy. But I feel too much of something can be detrimental. Life’s a balance
The thing is. Is that when you masturbate you fantasize. That's what I mean by P lite. I'd rather just have a release with a f buddy or my gf. I've just been feeling so great while doing the Hardmode Reboot that I don't see why I should start MOing again.
The 'chaser effect' is the outcome of a rush of dopamine, the kind of rush that comes from the intense stimulation that is caused by binging of porn. Once the door is opened to porn or PMO, the chaser effect will keep pulling you back in. In my experience the chaser effect also massively increases the risk / symptoms of: - PIED - Damage or loss of sensation to penis (death grip etc) - Low energy / fatigue It is the repetition and the cyclical nature of the addiction and/or craving that increases the harm we do. Using all the tools, all the helpful posts on this forum, any other supplementary literature, and introducing healthy habits and changes of thinking will get you out of that chaser-effect trap. Good luck and progress to all!
Tried just doing a casual MO on Sunday and ended up in the next city trying to get hold of a trans escort that blocked me for going looking for poppers before our meeting and taking too long! Really messed up, I actually didn’t even really feel like a T just knew it was the quick way to get an intense experience after walking out a brothel because the woman wasn’t very hot and had no equipment . Glad I got blocked and woke up with some money left. But yea this casual mo is so vanilla now I can barely get hard. Maybe after a month I’d enjoy and need it but not a week. It just escalates to get its fix. Seriously pushed that bar too high and ruining my life continuing to chase it
