This is my first thread here. I am a 22 yo F who has struggled with compulsive M since childhood which led to P as a teenager. Growing up, I didn't have any examples of healthy sexuality to look up to. I saw one of my parents make mistake, after mistake until they were sexually out of control and ultimately destroyed themselves as well as their family. I am in a relationship now with a man I know I am going to marry. He also struggles with P, and I believe that his use has become excessive and outside his control. Looking forward, I want better for myself, for him, and for our future family. I want to create something better than what we both grew up around. I have finally decided to start taking this seriously and put in the work for a healthier future.
Welcome to the community! You are in a great place for recovery...but recovery takes action and consistency. The things that work for me, if done on a consistent basis, are: Updating my journal (Reboot Logs section) multiple times a day Daily communication via DM with my accountability partners and others I connect with here in this community Reading different posts throughout the day and contributing when I feel I can add value Welcoming new comers, such as yourself Being available to help others as we walk this journey Reading outside recovery literature (SA, SAA, AA, NA, etc.) Weekly therapy (CSAT) Attend 12 step meetings in my area Prayer / Meditation Eating healthy Adequate sleep (it's a struggle, but I do my best) I've been a member of this community for 5+ years and always struggled putting more than 2 weeks of sobriety together. It wasn't until I fully surrendered and accepted the fact that I need to work my recovery program every single day regardless of how good or how bad I feel that things started to change. The consistency I now practice has enabled me to get sober and stay stopped for 150+ days. It's a damn miracle, but certainly possible if one is willing to go to any lengths. Again, welcome to the community! We are here to support! Wishing you the best!
Welcome. Glad you are here. Take some time to read the reboot material (available here => http://www.nofap.com/getting-started) and come up with a plan for what you will do when you are faced with urges. It has good advice, so don't skip it! Perhaps start writing a journal - if you feel comfortable telling people about happened and what's going on now, you will start to feel accountable to them. You may even inspire others. It's a nice feeling! This will help your recovery. Also, try to add something into your life that makes you the kind of person who doesn't engage in PMO. Think about doing: Something you enjoy Something you're good at Something important Something for somebody else, without thought of reward (and if you DO get an unintended reward, do something ELSE, perhaps for a different person or group). Read the journals of others - we all learn from each other. Don't just stay within your own age group or part of the world. Share your knowledge in a respectful way. This is a great post about what lies ahead of you during the reboot. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/time-to-be-done-with-this.140257/page-26#post-1442099 This is a fantastic way to explain what you'll be feeling during your reboot. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/club-dopamine.101129/ Read, learn, apply. Look around the forums, get to know people. Everyone is friendly, and will try to support you. We're all in the same boat here. Be kind to others and others will be kind to you, both here and IRL. And remember, it's not a challenge - it's a lifestyle change. I wish you a successful reboot. ~Orf
