Hello Everyone. I’m 25 and I guess I’ve been masturbating for about 15 years, at about 3 to 4 times a week. In my early teenage, I imagine I had gone weeks and months without masturbating, only because I had forgot about it. I started watching pornography when I was 16 or 17 and for years I was addicted. Last year, it occurred to me that these habits are really affecting my personal life. I was depressed, and was severely criticizing myself over mistakes in life. Watching porn and masturbating had become ever more compulsive, and I thought I was corrupted beyond any hope. I quit watching porn last August and went several months ‘clean’. Of course, in a sexualized media I was constantly being hit with overtly sexual images. However during this period, I never actively browsed for any pornographic content, and I never masturbated in front of my laptop. That would be a big achievement in itself, and personally I found more confidence when I could quit my habit of smoking for 6 years. Despite this, ‘no porn’ never actualized into ‘NoFap’. Quitting masturbation – I realize is entirely difficult, but I am still not giving up. Frankly speaking, i am very agitated over this habit - because the very nature of it, the compulsiveness, seeking for excitement - I ended up masturbating over porn. This happened once, someday a few weeks back. Now that I have started to realize how my habits are controlling me, I must admit my self-esteem is affected. I’ve tried to quit innumerable times. Even while I was a teen I resolved many a times not to masturbate. Now in the past few months, I have restored the ‘resolve’. This habit is long ingrained into my memory. One I must break free of, and so will I (hopefully xD). In any case, I don’t hope to claim victory overnight. I expect to fail again. Fellow member, look forward to your encouraging words. I am very motivated having found this forum, I plan to post at least once a day and wish to be honest about my progress. I look forward to networking with anyone and everyone serious about quitting this habit. Hopefully, we all can overcome this issue!
Martin Thanks for sharing your story and for your comments on my own situation. I can relate to a lot of what you say. Since I discovered this site and www.yourbrainonporn.com just yesterday I have already learned many new things about the whole issue of porn and masturbation and I think more new learning and interacting with others over the coming days and weeks will help me get to grips with things (no pun intended). I don't have a huge problem with the act of masturbation itself. I believe it is healthy and can help to relieve sexual tension. But when porn is thrown into the mix it's a different story. It then becomes an issue of compulsion and loss of self-control. This is where my problem lies and I would venture yours does too. When I can't concentrate on my work because I feel the need to look at a porn site or a site advertising prostitution services and then masturbate, then it is clear that I have a problem that I need to deal with. If I could cut back masturbation to 3 or 4 times a month and only fantasize about real women that I knew personally, then I would be much happier. Just thinking about it as I type here, it is similar to many other addictions. Some people can enjoy a few beers but they know their limits. Others can't control their drinking and turn into alcoholics i.e. addicts.
