Single and Bitter

Yeah, I feel jealous at times. Pretty much everyone is looking for someone to give their love to and I am no different. Singleness is not easy.

 

Half the people who are in semi-committed relationships are in that relationship so they can make other people jealous/stop being jealous of couples. The way you feel in response to certain threads, chances are that is the very intention of the post. Do your own thing, don’t rush into a relationship because of other people.

 

I used to feel this way. Now, I cope with coming to terms with reality, and that I'm lonely most of the time. I never really had friends, so it may be a bit easier for me. But I always ask myself "How would I live if I knew I'd never have a gf?". Well, I'll constantly improve myself and work to be the best version of myself so I can be a positive addition to anyone's life, and a productive contributer to society.

I just have to find it in myself because no one else in this world really cares, honestly. Sad, but true. Hope things get better for you man

 

I feel bitter and resentful at times… not really towards specific people.. but more like a bitterness towards Reality Itself for seemingly denying me the type of girl I’d truly want to date and fall asleep next to every night

but then I also blame myself too.. because truth is, if I hadn’t have ever watched porn or ever masturbated, my views towards women and sexuality may have been completely different and I would have maybe ended up with one of those girls I truly desire

so all I can do going forward is continue to change for the better and also to have hope and try and put myself into more social situations where my new, improved self can interact with people and women

 

The grass is always greener on the other side as they say. Unless you're a total loser (and I mean this generally not as an insult lol) then you probably have things that married men/men in relationships would kill for. Meaningful relationships are obviously important in life but romantic/sexual relationships are not crucial to having a fulfilling and worthwhile life.

I can only speak for myself but I'm a virgin with basically no experience with women whatsoever. For reasons that aren't relevant right now I'm afraid of interacting with them, and I don't like dealing with most people. It's easy for me to get all melancholy and upset and wonder what could have been, but I find it healthier to value what I actually have, instead of obsessing over what I don't have. Maybe there's some mirror universe version of me where I'm married to a beautiful woman and I have kids and all that - but maybe in that world I have to work jobs I hate to maintain that, and I never get around to writing fiction, which is my life's dream. Get what I'm saying?

Personally, and once again I'm not specifically talking about OP here, I find men who do nothing but obsess over women to be pathetic dweebs who have deluded themselves into thinking they are "alpha" when really all they are doing is giving women control over their sense of self worth.

 

You hit the nail on the head here. If you're bitter about being single, there's a good chance your bitterness is part of the reason you're single. No one (even all of us reading this thread) is attracted to people who act or feel entitled. I don't care if she's the hottest woman I've ever seen--if she acts entitled, my interest in her plummets immediately.

For me, the best way to combat those feelings is to remember that I'm growing in important areas of my life, and to remember that romantic attachment--while beautiful and amazing--is not the end-all-be-all of fulfillment in life. I also try and push myself to feel genuine joy for the success of others. 15 years of marriage? Amazing! Job promotion? Congratulations! ... and to truly mean it. Everyone loves a cheerleader, and the more you find yourself in a headspace of encouragement and positivity, you're more likely to see opportunities all around you, and the more likely you'll find a mate who really appreciates that about you.

 

FACTS!

 

The name "Mara" literally means "bitter." No comment, just an observation.

If he's depressed and medicated, his marriage is probably not what you think it is. We all get bad moods, we all get unhappy with what we have and imagine we could have it so much better if only ______. If society weren't so messed up, if their expectations weren't so distorted, if mom had not drunk so much wine when I was in utero, if I had listened to my gut or took the risk, if you had let go of your anger or had said yes. And for us, always, if porn. If other people made the right choices, or if we had made the right choices. There's a whole genre of entertainment dedicated to regrets and retracing your life to make different choices, and it's older than most people realize.

I don't want to be trite. You have to mourn your losses, that's important. And it's not like you do mourn that loss once, then you put it in the grave forever and move on with your life. Nope, it'll come back to haunt you every once in a while and you have to learn how to deal with that. But after you properly mourn, which isn't with tears, that's not how we do it. We stare sulkily into the void and play video games. After we go through that period, we have to own up to two things.
What's done is done and nothing will change what has happened; we will never be 18 again, we have to live with the baggage we have already accrued.
And today is the day we can do something about ourselves right now, so anywhere from five years to tomorrow we can say, "I did the best I could with the time, knowledge, and resources that I had."

So you're single now, and you don't want to be. The first thing you have to do is figure out what you think a good life partner is. Then you figure out, not how to find that person, but how to become that person. Once you're properly on the path to becoming that person, then you set about looking for the person you want to be with, being realistic that whoever you end up with is going to have to put up with that baggage, so it's only reasonable to expect they'll have some too.

 

This is why I deleted Facebook

 

It's natural to feel a tinge of bitterness or envy when it seems like everyone around you is in a happy relationship. But remember, it's just a period of your life, and things can change in unexpected ways. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, try to shift your perspective and focus on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. By the way, any chaturbate reviews? I would like to give it a try. Everyone is worthy of love and support and you will meet someone who appreciates you for who you are.

 

I feel the same way with not having a Girlfriend but without the Aspect of Marriage and Kids or building a Family. This is not romantic or substantial for me at all, since I became an Atheist last year and questioned some things. I feel bitterness about myself when I see Couples walking Hand in Hand and me who has never ever experienced real Love in Life.
You know what?....I'm crying every Night about this Reality which is called "my Life".
I'm always asking if true Love ever exists or not. Or are these Relationships fake and in Reality those Couples are only behind other Values such as Men's Money for Example. We will never know this.
Nowadays I am pretty shocked how dishonest and superficial alot of People in our Society are.
Maybe it is better to stay away from toxic People (Men and Women) rather than living together with them. So maybe being single is not a bad Idea, you only need to watch alot of bad Examples to see the Reality.
Then you feel better about your own Situation as a single.

 

I don't feel bitter, but sometimes I either get jealous or sad. I've never dated anyone before and I keep seeing the happiness of other people in relationships. And I sometimes think a partner who loves you is something everybody else can have but not me. Even other recovering jerkoffers. Because of that, I even felt like God played favorites when it came to relationships.

But then I remember that each person has a different plan. And right now, I keep hoping that when this 90-day recovery period is over that I'll finally get my first date as a reward.

 

I've already felt bitterness and i discovered that was caused only by P consumption. After i realize how toxic it is, how grose is to watch just many seconds of that crap and how unreal it is, i started to notice that the bitterness inside of my heart was fading away.

When i see couples in real life (now) i simply turn my eyes to other spot. I don't care at all, i don't wanna waste my inner peace with these bad thoughts about the others. P is definitely a poison that was killing me and bitterness was a common withdrawal.

 

If you're bitter about being single, I have one question, what are you doing about it? I'm a firm believer in that you can change the situation that you are in but you need to put the effort into changing it. Sitting around watching tv or surfing the internet does nothing to change your situation. You can sit there and be bitter or you can take actions to meet someone.

 

Damn dude, good on yeh for being honest with yourself.

The real problem is when bitterness and resentment have no self-awareness around them... You're aware, and also taking action toward changing your perspective on here, that's awesome.

If you can't cognitively reframe the situation of other couples so as to find motivation, then I guess it best to just let them, and your judgements about them, be. At the least, don't get all caught up in the drama of them, or of your reaction to them. Just do what you can to let the negative mental noise come and go, and then get back to your work that'll lead you to the kinda things you'd like for yourself.