Hi peeps, so, here's my story. In my 40's now. Have been fapping on and off since I was 13 or so. Fapping has been part of my life since I can almost remember. It took the pressure away when things got difficult it numbed the senses I needed most at this moment (courage, motivation, momentum). Why? Because I was too lazy, too scared or just not self-confident in my abilities. But fapping was not only that, it was also a way to cope with boredom. If your mental state is weak, the day feels fucked already, maybe some fapping can cheer you up...! It's all BS. Fapping robes you of your live. It robs you of who you could really be. It robs you from strong loving connections. It robes you from the ability to be the best that you can be. And it's not fair towards your family, your friends, your community as you aren't who you could be. Our world needs strong people in the world. People that change things. People that live up to their true potential. Too many wankers that don't push their boundaries (including me). I just gave in to a 138-day streak. I was feeling so good. My life, once again took a turn for the better. I was proud, self-confident and strong. The best power to me. You get into a state where you do what you want to do, even though it may be weird, strange or against all standards. You get a tattoo, do it, you want your ear pierced - go for it, you want to speak your mind although it may hurt somebody's feeling, well, that's okay too if you speak from your heart. Not saying you have to be an a**hole but be authentic, I think that's what it's all about. Be authentic and be true to yourself. Be who you want to be, not what others think you should be (not your parents, not your partner, not your kids,...). Be the best that you can be. Other great benefits when doing nofap. You are way more at peace with yourself. Daily life gets better, your mood is way better, and your perspective is better. Guys and girls, I can tell you one thing. Don't f*** up your life and be 30- or 40-something. Take charge of your life as soon as possible. Once you're 90 you can fap all day if you like. Cherish the day, you don't need to be super-human from now on, and it's unlikely you will be. The only thing you need to do: Take your hands from your d*** and enjoy live. It will come back to you X-fold the longer you go with it. Some may not agree, but it's my personal experience, I am not going to argue with anybody. Either you are up for it, or keep wasting your life. I am on day 0 now. I am going to beat that beast. Wait for my 30-day update. I am so done with this shit! PEACE!!
Many of us have experience the good, the bad, and the ugly of sobriety and active addiction. Personally, I always learn more about myself each go around...but unfortunately, I get further and further in to my addiction each time. However, I too, reflect a lot during my sobriety and coming back from relapse. It's a process and one that has allowed me a much deeper insight in to ME. I love your passion and determination to "beat the beast." However, the best way for me to approach this is simply one moment/one day at a time. It's the smaller, more short term victories of beating the beast that ultimately provides the continuous motivation and determination for me. I have failed too many times thinking mainly of a long term, permanent solution. Not saying everybody struggles the way I do, but short term goals (a moment or day) have made the ultimate goal of beating the beast seem more obtainable. Thanks for sharing your experience and being so honest. Looking forward to more updates and insight from you during your journey.
Thanks for sharing your experience! I agree, the beast is just waiting to take over. Even 1 week ago, I was so certain I won't need that shit anymore. Then I had this wet dream a couple of days ago and it messed with my mind. I haven't had a wd for more than 10 years... Intrinsically I feel it's time to stop this if I really want to turn my life around. Also, congrats on your 10 days!
I know the feeling...been there many of times. Again, I work best on a moment to moment basis...and to always be vigilant. The minute I started getting overly confident about this addiction is the minute I begin relapse thinking. For me, I must stay vigilant on a moment to moment basis...it's those unguarded times I usually throw everything away. So far today, I've been able to successfully maintain my sobriety...and I will remain vigilant for the rest of the day. I've stacked 10 days so far which I'm very proud about...but the most important thing to me now is THIS moment. Btw, I've been struggling with this addiction for many years. Started out as porn and flapping, escalated to dirty video chats, then to catfishing and dirty video chats, then to asian massage parlors. My activities at the Asian massage parlors have become more and more risky and more and more expensive. I'm a married man with multiple kids. I am here to get sober one day at a time.
@GeorgeJetson I believe you can do it. We need the light in you! Your family does, your friends, everyone! I am sure you have soo much to give. Wishing you all the best! I realised for myself, yesterday I fell into a cliff, I felt miserable and shit at first... I felt like a victim. That's how I saw myself for years and years... Then I realised that the time is now and I need to move forward every day one little step. And I tell you something, I will not give up on this. If I fall again and I will, I will stand up again and fight again because falling doesn't matter as long as you keep going. I always loved this quote: “He who fights, can lose. He who doesn't fight, has already lost.” My longest streak ever was close to 300 days, and that was in 2018/2019. Three years have passed since I haven't come back to where I was. But I know I had many smaller strikes. When I remember, when I was a teen I would fap up to 5 times a day. One of my friends held a "record" of 16 times. LOL. But what changed is that I am not a teen anymore. I know what I want, and I have responsibilities for others. I want to be the rock they can lean onto, their guide when life gets hard, their inspiration when they lose hope, and their anchor in stormy seas... I can't be that if I fap my life away, and even if I have some hiccups, it's not about that. Yesterday, I fapped 1 day (and was afraid I may go back to this spiral) but I am back in the saddle. Be strong guys! Be the inspiration for others. DAY 1 - here I go PEACE!! P.S. George: Thanks also for your thoughts on how to approach this. I thought about it last night.
Great post and insight. Keep encouraging the community and allowing us to be part of your journey. Be strong and stay connected. We are here.
Thanks, George! Good to have you here! And here for myself and the nofap community: “There is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.” PEACE!!
Can see you going strong 13 days now. Great stuff! Keep it up everyone! I'll keep it up too! Let's show what we are really made of!
5 Days up my sleeves! Going strong. No signs of giving in to the temptation! I am keeping my focus on myself, not on other people. I can sense stronger attraction from women around me like stares here and there. Not often, but it happens. I think my energy levels are increasing. Also, partly, my "aggressiveness" to be honest (probably due to testosterone), but at the same time I am more chilled in myself. I just stand up for myself more (maybe that's the "aggressiveness" I meant). Keep going strong guys and girls out there! Let's have a fabulous Christmas without the feeling of shame when we meet our family and friends in 3-4 weeks! Let's be the best that we can be. PEACE!!
6 Days - here I go! Focus on the bigger picture - when I hit 30 days I will look back to these days and be proud to know I pushed through, no matter what! Keep on pushing. Not letting my mind go down the path of 'destruction'... PEACE!!
@GeorgeJetson Can see we are both going strong! To be honest, you inspire me to keep going. Keep it up buddy!! Thanks
@Robbiebob Great to have you here too. Wishing you a great day ahead! We are stronger than this. PEACE!!
30 days, YES! Aware that the beast to take me down is just waiting. I'll keep taking one step after the other! Aiming for 60 days now! Wish me strength! PEACE!! P.S. Thanks George for staying strong, it helps me too!
Hi fapstronauts! I want to share my progress as mentioned 30 days ago. AND... YES, I did it. I haven't used P or M for 60 days. I am pretty proud about myself. Initially especially around day 35 it got quite hard at times and I came back to this forum multiple times a day. After a couple of days it got better and I just came here every other day. But I have to say this community has been great in supporting me and push through until today. Reading posts of others clearly shows that we are all human and no matter where you come from or where you are going, we all fail at times. I had streaks of +60 days before but way to few when I think that I have been doing this shit for over 25 years. I have to say sharing my struggles here as done in my initial post has served me well as I never talked about it before. The shame was sitting too deep. So, how do I feel today compared to +60 days ago. I really have to say that I way more prefer spending my time with family activities and being there for my family then with hiding in front of a f***** screen. I feel way more calm in myself and thoughtful about things. I can have deeper conversations with the feeling that I am present. No shame, no guilt, no rush. I feel more centered. I feel stronger and feel less tired. I am also more creative and it's easier to laugh about things. Basically, I can give more because I feel full and not empty. Important and not unimportant. If you have a clear mind and are not deceived by brain fog, your path is clearer, your mood is better and you are a different human being. Overall, I am so glad I went ahead and achieved these last 60 days. I will try to steam further ahead and am targeting 90 days of NoFap now. I know that I am still not "healed" from PMO. I did it way too long. Sometimes I still desire it and think about breaking my commitments, but I just want to be done with it or at least put my best out there to come as far as I can. Thanks everyone for sharing their posts, encouraging others and offering your perspectives. I don't think it would have been possible without you! All the best to you and speak again in 30 days! PEACE!!
I got this from a book I read: Final Instructions If you follow these instructions, you cannot fail: Make a solemn vow that you’ll never, ever, go online to visit pornographic content again and stick to it. Remind yourself: There’s absolutely nothing to give up. You will be better off away from porn. There is no rational reason to even watch porn. And there’s no genuine pleasure or crutch in porn either. It’s just an illusion, a false belief. A lot like banging your head against a wall in order to feel the relief when you stop. Porn creates the void. There is nothing special about you. Like countless others, you too can quit. There is nothing so tragic in your life that you cannot quit this. Don’t try not to think about porn, or worry when you’re thinking about it constantly. Whenever you do think about it, just tell yourself “wow! I’m so glad that is behind me! I’m happy and free from that poison!” You don’t need to block these. That’s using the willpower method. Instead, affirm the true belief in face of these images. Practice meditation to realize these images have no power to control you. Do not use any form of distractions (cold showers, exercise, etc) or substitutes (softcore images, provocative social media images, TV shows, etc). Be mindful of the power of media and social situations at first. Do not give yourself a reward for quitting. Within a few days or weeks, you might (or might not) have a ‘moment of insight’. Don’t be hung up waiting for ‘moment of insight’ to come. Just get on with your life, enjoying the highs and coping with the lows. You’ll find in no time at all the moment will arrive. For some it is a big moment, for some it is barely noticeable. In either case, the moment of insight tells them that “Yes, it really all was just a lie. I did not need porn after all.” Go to quitporneasily.com to download the 1 page cheat sheet as a reminder of these lessons. You will also get a 5 day email course that will serve as reinforcement about these ideas. More false beliefs will be uncovered. You will find subtle things keeping you trapped. Be honest and look at them and deal with them. Journal about them, talk to a friend about them, or reach out to me so I can coach you through it. Don’t wait until you’ve uncovered all of them. Quit now. Continuously remind yourself to counter the lifetime of false beliefs that: ◦ Porn doesn’t fill the void in my life, it creates it. ◦ I am free! Free! Free! ◦ It feels so good to let the poison out of my system! Without contemplation of these ideas, this will not work. A lifetime of false programming requires some thinking on your part so that it can be reversed!
Thank you so much for the encouragement, Robbiebob! I can see you are going strong too, congratulations as well! Keep going, it's going to be worth it! PEACE brother!!
