In that time, I'd had 2 great dates with a new person in my life, discovered a lot about myself and the other person, and have a potential follow up coming up soon.... ....but I just discovered one of my ex partners is pregnant and couldn't shake the bad feelings. I'd been procrastinating all day with my tasks, and tempted myself by looking at P for a little kick with no intention of MO, and I just couldn't control myself once the right video came up. I don't feel bad because the situation is not a regular occurrence, I'm trying to view it as a test that I failed but that was a much stronger enemy than usual. It's a sense of closure with someone in my past life, not my future. If I can continue on without the chaser effect, then this means nothing. Interestingly enough, I can recall a long streak a few years ago, when I'd just lied to myself that I had not relapsed, and continued on as normal. Normal being that I do not MO. I'll give that a try from here on out. Wish me luck.
