Hi, my name is P. Last Saturday, 2nd July 2022, I went out and had lunch with a female coworker. At the time I was on Day 6 of NoFap on my 132nd attempt. I focused on asking her open-ended questions and felt pretty tense/nervous. She gave me prolonged eye contact and smiles. I found myself attracted to her while watching the way she ate and talked. Then, earlier today, while feeling anxious and down, I stumbled upon some old porn on my computer and watched it before fapping and orgasming. The reason for my angst? I had no idea what could have interested the girl and no idea how to continue the conversation through texts. I wanted to be more than just friends but had no dating experience beforehand. I read many articles and sought a lot of advice only to be overwhelmed by the conflicting information. It occurred to me just now that no matter how much advice you ask for, everyone is unique so you can only count on your own experience and insight. Too late for me, I guess... I can only hope she doesn't somehow detect that I have relapsed (maybe my hormonal and pheromonal levels will dip). Here's to my 133rd attempt at lifelong NoFap! (No P and M, only saving O for real life).
I skipped yesterday's post because I dealt myself a crippling blow. The brain fog and depressive syndrome that followed a NoFap relapse crushed any hope I had for the future. Suddenly, I found myself cured of my infatuation. I gorged on dried seasoned seaweed, finishing the whole packet at a single sitting. I wandered around aimlessly, wondering just who the heck I was and why I even liked this girl in the first place. All she had was a pretty face and personality, no sex appeal at all. On top of that, we lived in different worlds. She had 2,000 Facebook friends, which is over ten times mine. Do I even deserve to pursue her? Not to mention how hopeless it is. That was yesterday. Today, someone at work mentioned that there was a different girl who was interested in me. I said that I had no interest in this other girl. My coworker, however, said that I should be realistic, instead of chasing something that might come back and bite me in the backside. In her words, "you have to consider the context in case things don't work out." Her intuition was on point! To make it easier for you all to understand, let's use code names. I had a crush on Girl A; my coworker B said that a different girl C had a crush on me. I think that B's intuition is on point because Girl A is actually another coworker. If things don't work out between Girl A and me, then our workplace may be adversely affected. I felt frustrated. Should I settle for Girl C for whom I have no feelings? Or should I continue chasing Girl A even if it is one-sided? That frustration grew into assertion. It occurred to me that my life is my own: nobody has the right to tell me how to live my life! Life is too short. I choose to pursue Girl A, even if it ends with friendship I am fine with it. Even if I no longer have a crush on her, I am still interested in her as a person! As for Girl C, I'll just be her friend. Life is too short to be confined by this disgusting addiction that is PMO. I will commit to lifelong NoFap!
If you feel no chemistry even if she's hot, don't go for it. It's a waste of time. Sex will be disappointing for both of you. Not every girl that seems interested in you is a girl you should date.
