Im not really sure what to write about today. I guess the one thing now that I'm thinking back on my day is realizing how much I'm not even trying to put in effort when I meet a new woman in my life to form some sort of attraction with them. Like today, there were several instances where I had an opportunity to have a decent conversation with some women and it's like my brain was just thinking "what's the point". It sucks because I've never been at this point where I give so little effort. I remember when i was younger and even when I didnt have any clue with women, at least I would put in some sort of effort. I think it's mostly due to really low self esteem and porn being my go to for so long, that it's like my brain is not even thinking about real connection anymore. Well even tho I don't like admitting this, I am here to do something about it and get better but that's where I'm currently at.
It is amazing how easily one can sabotage their own happiness, even if the know full well exactly what they are doing.
I can relate brother. I used to live for chatting up women, now it feels futile and pointless. I think I automatically expect it to be a dead end and I am looking for a real connection instead - but I have no idea how to cultivate one..
Change your outlook. Instead of thinking that the woman you are talking to should turn into an attraction, talk to that women thinking that she could become a friend. If you have a woman who is a friend who then becomes a romantic relationship it will probably be one of the best relationships that you have ever had. If all she ever is is a friend, that's a winning situation to.
Well question is, whats the point really. What is it that you seek and do your really think a female can give it to you? Unconditional love? Hardly ever. Support when you are down? They hate your weakness. Sex? Yes, hopefully you will be the only one.. Stability? Ohh.. hm.. so what it is really? Its good to define what u looking for, otherwise its impossible to get it.
Straight to friendzone and one of the worse advices ever. All you will witness is your "friend" having sex with other males, who did NOT want to be just friends. Because if you are REALLY her friend, why not be happy she had a extatic sex with someone else? And if that does not make u happy, than why to pretend to be her friend? Its just being fake, not friend.
You missed my point, the original poster said he doesn't want talk to women anymore. If he keeps that up he will only know men. I didn't say pretend to be her friend, I said approach her as a friend and if he wants he should be a real friend or move on, but never pretend to be a friend, that's worthless. Personally, I like women on all levels and talking to them as friends adds more friends and joy to my life. If it was 100% an attraction to that women and the only reason I wanted to talk to her so she would be a GF or hookup, I would approach differently. However if I only approached women with the mindset of be attracted to me or nothing, I would probably miss out on some great friendships.
Yeah I get what you're saying. If I'm being totally honest, what I'm really looking for is their approval of me and to feel better about myself that attractive women still want me. I say that because in all honesty, even if a conversation does go well between me and a woman I don't take it any further than that anymore. But like I said it just bothers me that it just feels like lately I'm not even trying to do that anymore. I'm just like "whatever, what's the point of I do or if I don't". I know things will just stay this way until I start working on myself and giving myself the things I'm looking for women to give me
I get it. Thats normal. Not ideal, but u already know that. Its a thing of ego - I can still get a hottie. But what happens than - either u are the 0.1% and u stay together for ever. And given the motives u have, and the state of society, thats HIGHLY unlikely. Or she leaves at some point. Than, how will u feel? Most likely even worse than now. Because "you not good enough for a hottie" now.. U see it now? Theres no way she will ever give u what u search for, and u know it deep down, thats why the idea "whats the point?" arises in your mind. And you are correct on that. Theres no point. For me, only point of getting a woman, is she gives birth to my babies. Because I really dont know what else she can give me other than that. Than she can help making a home feel like home, nurture babies, family.. amd u provide for that, which can make u feel fullfilled. Than it starts to make sense. I guess.. thats the natural roles of man and woman. This whole dating game twisted everyones mind so much we forgot that dating is for a reason, and that is creating a family at the end of the day. Dating for dating is one of the most empty and hurting thing u can do in your life.
Yeah I feel that. Me personally, I want to get to a point where I build up my self esteem to a point where I don't care if she approves of me or not and if the conversation goes well or not. How it feels right now is I'm so much more concerned about if a woman likes me instead of giving that to myself. In the end, I'm giving them all the power to let me know if I'm worthy or not. ...if that makes sense
Ok I missed the point u are right. Still, I dont really think females know what real friendship is. If something happens to me, I get broke, my real friend will borrow me money. Will the female do the same? I very much doubt it. Friendship with females is a illusion of friendship, and I dont want no illusions in my life. Just personal experience. Friendship is "for life and death" otherwise its no friendship. Males can do that, because it was necessary for our survival. Females needed completely different set of traits to survive and have children etc. Just look at what kind of friendships they have.. in many cases they just take the best friends boyfriend and vanish in dust lol.
