Question regarding abstinence and relapse.

Hi

Thankfully read it all.

Firstly my apologies, this is my first post on an unusual forum that doesn’t require a simply organized application and doesn’t require additional 5 mins of adapting to the different style and I have a question.

I’m axel, 21 year old, have been on abstinence for a long time by now, I don’t really have that big of a streak that I would be comfortable of (50+ days) , I’ve started Nofap and abstinence for several reasons, and most practical one was that I’m not really doing very good in school( college now) basically can’t concentrate, can’t study , anxious , and kinda feel awkward at times , i workout almost religiously and watch my macros and micros as well as getting a sleep no less than 6+ hours but this has been getting worse and worse noticeably since middle school and I wasn’t even in this condition by anyway back then ,I didn’t know the reason back then because I just blamed myself as I’m lazy and stuff and because I was busy dealing with my loneliness ,esteem and bad body image back then.

I’ll keep it short, I’m on 42 days streak in my abstinence , experienced bad and good in my first two weeks and then after the 4 week as I thought, I think I’m on a flatline since then and still until now on 40+ days (well ..almost) .

On my 40 day ,basically two days ago in the night as I was asleep I think I had a very strange experience, firstly I apologise for putting it this way, I felt my clothes were very tight in my boxers and I was trying to loosen my clothes up as I was uncomfortable in bed,I was still feeling tight but just easier, I went back to sleep and suddenly after a while I felt a strong.. how do I put it .. the same feeling you get after finishing, it was noticeable feeling BUT I was still somehow weirdly unconscious and all I remember is that I just continued in deep sleep like nothing was happening but it was still on my mind that I relapsed and I don’t know how did that happen.

The day after waking up in the morning and going to class I was having a back pain , same one as after relapsing and I also had a bad constant headache almost all of the day and I have to mention that I didn’t eat or drink anything for like 9 hours straight( maybe this is the reason for headache),
Anyway now 2 days after that I’m feeling like I’m recovering but my memory is hazy but also my headache has noticeably reduced now.

Lastly I have to mention that I don’t think that was a dream because I was feeling it and don’t remember that I was dreaming that night , it was all of the sudden and didn’t know what was happening ,it was very much involuntarily and I felt like i was conscious but how would I fell asleep just seconds after the accident if I was conscious? My eyes were just closed all the time .

Simply put I don’t know what should I do right now, should I reset my counter and go back to 0 days ( well .. two days now) ?or should I continue with my 42+ days streak like it was just a flow that won’t affect my streak permanently or in the long term ?

Thanks in advance.