Quick Background: Started PMO at 13 and PMO’d every day until I was 28. OOF. If only I could go back in time and change that. I developed serious PIED and PE with a voyeurism kink, where I could only get hard watching porn or fantasizing about watching my SO have sex. AND I had a decrease in sexual attraction to real women. After a rough road I am now 182 days no PMO, my Morningwood has returned and I have *slightly* seen an increase in attraction to real women. However, I still do not have the urge to initiate/have actual sex even when I am horny. All I have is an urge to orgasm. In a sexual setting I basically get hard through stimulation and after some long foreplay I quickly stick it in and ride the wave. I love the orgasm and the closeness I receive from the experience with my SO, and I want it to be more. I want the lust etc. -I should add my T levels are all normal. DOES ATTRACTION AND DESIRE FOR SEX EVER RETURN??? My wife is gorgeous (I can realize that much) and I want to have that desire to have sex along with everything that comes from it. I’m starting to lose hope after such a long and difficult journey☹️ Edit: ANY helpful tips for the reboot process would also be appreciated!!
I believe that it's normal to have dry spells in one's sex life. This is something you should talk to your wife about. Ask her about what turns her on. If you make her aroused, that will increase your pleasure, naturally.
I went through this for a while. I went through it with a legalistic moral issue I had with sex. But it’s very similar. I think if it as almost like OCD with the orgasm. For me one thing that helped was to connect emotionally outside of sex. To be silly and have fun together. Also, focus on getting her off and don’t worry about you. That made her a lot hornier and sex because her wanting it not just being my tool to get me off. There are times we “hook up” and I don’t orgasm. That helps though. just focus on her and give her an amazing experience. You’ll come around. Don’t worry.
