Day 260 - feel slightly better this morning than I did yesterday, though when I went to sleep the same thoughts hit my brain. I just had to keep telling myself over and over again one day at a time - focus on the here and now and not on the future. I’m hoping that a phone call I make today will help (slightly) in terms of next load of bills and I know I just need to be stricter with my budgets. The issue being I always feel like such a loser and a pessimist when my wife wants to do something. Really, I’m paying now for mistakes I made in the past in this regard. How familiar. Things I am grateful for today: My beautiful wife Good day at work Slightly better sleep Things I hope for today: Stress free journeys Work managed Cuddles
Day 262 - a very busy day today, with some slightly stressful travel arrangements to address. Hopefully everything will turn out all right in the end. And then it’s Friday - thank goodness! Things I am grateful for: My wonderful wife Jobs done Good sleep Things I hope for today: Stress free journeys Cuddles Jobs complete
Day 263 - despite being a very long day, yesterday went very well and all those involved should be proud of themselves. Thank goodness it’s Friday and the weekend tomorrow, though what we are going to do, I really have no clue. Things I am grateful for: My gorgeous wife Brilliant results Safe journeys Things I hope for today: Stress free day Cuddles Better sleep
Day 264 - I’m glad I started this journal again. Even if all I write is a short message of insignificance, it still means I get some of my thoughts down somewhere and offload. I do think I am starting to see a real change in myself too, but don’t want to get complacent about it. That way lies danger. Things I am grateful for: My loving wife My warm house Weekend Things I hope for today: Plans Cuddles Smiles
Day 266 - it has been a good weekend. My wife is not feeling very well and there are issues with work that will affect her which potentially could bring her down emotionally and mentally. All I can do is offer my help in anyway possible, even if that’s just to listen. Without meaning to trigger anyone, during intimacy I am still finding I am ending too quickly which frustrates me slightly - but is that because I have been conditioned by all the shit I used to watch to believe that I should be able to take more time? I don’t know right now. Things I am grateful for: My gorgeous wife Good weekend Good sleep Things I hope for today: Stress free day Cuddles Jobs done
Day 267 - yesterday was a rather stressful one at work, though an important meeting I was due to have was cancelled so that helped matters a little. Need to focus more on the positives and less on the things that aren’t going well. Stick to the plan, really. Had a nice evening with the wife, who is still not feeling great. Hopefully I am helping in my own way. Things I am grateful for: My wonderful wife Warm house Prep done Things I hope for today: Less stress Cuddles I am useful
Day 268 - finding we have a rather interesting obstacle at work at the moment, which needs a fresher way of looking at things. Support is there but it’s how it affects the rest of the team which is my main concern. Had a good evening catching up on TV with my family - trying to decide what to do at the weekend is proving tricky. Things I am grateful for: My gorgeous wife Good sleep Jobs done Things I hope for today: Plans made Strategies formed Cuddles
Day 269 - the obstacle at work continues to cause issues, but we know we have support from higher up to help with the fallout that we are getting from it right now. My priority is still the team and everyone else who is running the ship in the right way. Pay day today too - thank goodness! Things I am grateful for: My beautiful wife Pay day Unbroken sleep (over 6 hours!) Things I hope for today: Calmness Cuddles Jobs done
Hello! I found your journal and thought I'd follow up on how you're doing. I like how you write about "Things I am grateful for" and "Things I hope for today." Great! Continue your healing journey and never give up! May God bless you and help you!
Day 270 - Friday at last, thank goodness. My hope is to get through the day and not to worry too much about staying too long at work. I want to get home and enjoy the weekend while I can - though we are still none the wiser about what we are going to do. It would be good to do something at least - just not sure what. Things I am grateful for: My gorgeous wife Less stress at work Jobs done Things I hope for today: Plans Cuddles Smiles
Day 271 - the weekend finally upon us. I managed to get jobs done at work yesterday which means I am in a good position again for Monday. My usual financial anxiety is playing up a little though - I can never fully enjoy payday right now. Things will get better with time but it’s going to be a slow burn. I just need to be sensible with my money and not splurge. Difficult when I feel guilty that I can’t buy my wife things she may want. Her birthday is coming up in a couple of months time - I really don’t want to worry about that. The little negative voice inside of me tells me I’m a failure if I can’t buy her things - I know it’s just because I’m trying to starve it of attention. Ho and indeed hum. Things I am grateful for: Waking up next to my wonderful wife Weekend Jobs done Things I hope for today: Cuddles Time to relax The voice shuts up
Day 273 - the start of another working week. Still, only two weeks to go until a brief week’s respite. We had a good weekend, overall - my youngest had her hair cut and looks radically different which is what she wanted. I also have had a hair chop which will do for a few months. Yesterday we all went out as a family to one of our favourite places - meant a bit of a drive but I don’t mind if it’s for them. Aware that I was starting to be a little clingy towards my wife in an intimate way and was not getting the response back, so hopefully I wasn’t too annoying to her. Things I am grateful for: My beautiful wife Days out Happiness Things I hope for today: Cuddles Jobs done Plans prepared
Day 274 - yesterday quite stressful at work but managed to hold it together. Was given some food for thought into how I am at work as well, and need to adjust my way of thinking when it comes to certain situations. That’s fine but it still strikes me down a little in terms of my own self confidence in myself. Why is that? The person wasn’t being overly critical and it was an honest request in a friendly manner. Nothing more than that. Yet I still take it so personally. I don’t feel like this should affect me as much as it did. Things I am grateful for: My loving wife Good food Tasks accomplished Things I hope for today: Cuddles Ego in check Jobs done
Day 275 - a more positive day at work yesterday. I feel like I reflected well on the advice given to me and used it to my best advantage. We are all a little strained given how we have quite a few team members off with illness at the moment. Without boasting, I have never had a day off for being ill except for the week I was forced to take off due to catching Covid a couple of years ago. My wife has worked through some pretty rubbish health issues and still does - less said about the doctors attitude towards her the better but it does make me cross still. Things I am grateful for today: My gorgeous wife Positive vibes Good sleep Things I hope for today: Jobs done Cuddles Plans made
Day 276 - today marks nine months since I restarted the process of recovery from my addiction. It has been a long and challenging process but I am eternally grateful to my amazing supportive wife, who really should not have to put up with the trauma I have caused, as well as the knowledge that this forum is here for support from people all over the world in the same boat. I am grateful for the opportunity to reflect on my own thoughts and feelings and celebrate the positives, even if they are small. One day at a time - try to stay focussed on the here and now. Things that I am grateful for: My absolutely wonderful wife. Bills paid. Nine months. Things I hope for today: Cuddles Jobs done Less stress
Day 277 - it’s been a long week at work, a few complications and bumps along the way too. Glad it’s Friday and the weekend is looking down on me. Not that we can do an awful lot - I need to remain positive that bills are paid and that’s obviously so important. It will all work out in the end. Things I am grateful for: My wonderful wife Good sleep Friday Things I hope for today: Jobs done Time to reflect Cooperation
