Take full control of your life. Be a woman of meaningful sucess then one day you may reach him again!
I kind of wish your ex would find this forum and see your posts and just how much he hurt you. I hope he's left you alone now, so you can heal. Other people can really mess us up, can't they? My writing is coming along great! I'm having so much fun. It's giving me a lot of pleasure. Thank you so much for asking. How is your stomach doing? Are you still doing yoga? I hope you're doing okay. *hugs you tight* I thought of this song because of you: Be well, yoga buddy. Heal at your own pace.
Hi beautiful! I am glad you love your writing and you are doing well ♡ I have been doing yoga every morning and running 4x a week .. I am looking into knitting .. something I was very afraid to attempt My ex and I have been communicating however he still won't change his mind Now that the pool is open I may go swimming on my day off .. I am trying to fill my days with activities so I do not dwell on the hurt his addiction has left me with .. #Porn Kills Love however I must move forward .. I will always check in here so please keep me updated I love hearing from you yoga buddy !! Soon as I get home I will watch the video you sent Thank you for thinking of me !! Oh, my stomach is feeling better I'm on stage 2 if you Google the diet for gastroparesis you will get an idea of how many things I may eat and how much of it I can not much really .. but as long as the weight stays the same I'm glad *hugs* and many blessings to you my dear friend ♡
I read the first page of your thread and then directly the last page...... In the first page almost 5 months back you sounded a bit dull and now you sound like an amazing person doing what you like is awesome. Im 15 yr old i guess i don't know much about relationships i am in one right now(teen relationship) I love this girl a lot i know her from like 11 years from Kindergarten i told her that i have had a crush on her for a long time and she said yes to me but then she shifted to another city like 8 months back but still we used to talk a lot on phone or on whatsapp. After she left i stopped hanging out with friends and found porn very fascinating (which i previously didn't but still used to watch it).... Used to fap like 3 times a day. I have been performing bad since then in school and in curricular activities also stopped programming (something that i love to do) .. Started procrastinating stuff .... And porn had some bad effects on me i used to think like girls like it 'rough' and other bullshit.. We(me and my gf) chat a lot everyday.... 5 days back she noticed that i talk a lot about 'sex' these days that i didn't used to and asked me 'am i good for only these things?' that kind of hurt me but for good.... I realized that i just don't 'like porn' im addicted to it. Then got to know about this site from Wikipedia and Tedx and have relapsed thrice since then but i want to quit this thing for her. When I talk to her I am a different person and when i watch porn im a totally different guy. We have a lovely chat history. ...i literally smile every time after i go thru them. I posted wierd things on this forum and people told me that i should try, not be upset, etc. People are really good here. 37 hrs without porn and it feels amazing i m starting to program again which i left in November last year. Started again to go out with friends(last time i went to movies with them was in feb) . That girl changed my life and also this forum. I have been noticing difference in myself in just 3 days. It is an awesome feeling And i really like reading your posts. You are an amazing person wish you the best for your future ✌
Hey thank you ! Stick around here and don't give up ! Don't let porn win the fight .. Give a good fight and get right back to the fight if you mess up.. You deserve to be "Really " happy and so does she .. don't let temporary happy which porn gives take away real love and happiness ♡ My best wishes to you and your girl and remember #Porn Kills Love
Your statement "Beauty fades... Smart is for ever" reminds me of the verse in Proverbs 31:30: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised". Good luck on working on your mindset and perspective! With determination it should yield good results
Wow, I have just read all 24 pages of your journey. I must say I'm impressed by the courage and the changes you've made. I hope you're still going strong!
Blows the dust off my NF account .... It has been a very long break but I felt I needed to touch base with an update especially to my friends here if they are still here .. if not I hope that they found happiness & no more struggles just peace of mind .. I am more wiser yet I am still learning from the last time I posted here .. Sadly my experience in the dating scene went from dating non frequent users to full blown havent showered today bfs .. I havent met the non user yet and I wont give up
So much has changed and hasnt since I was here last in 2016 .. My former Ex fiance and I we barely keep in touch .. I moved out and on from him.. I have had my share of new bfs through the years and I enjoy it that way .. I am not interested in getting married and having children, that boat has sailed .. I realised one thing though PMO makes this one guy I am currently dating weird haha maybe its just me and which guys I attract .. I am dating this guy for sometime now and when it is a morning of no sex in our shared bed he gets out of the bed takes his phone to the bathroom and well MO then tells me about it says its cause I wasnt in the mood lol a great stress reliever and I had to rub that one out cause my nuts would hurt all day lol hes totally not the sweet talking guy full of testosterone 45 minutes ago in the bed with me lol .. its like he becomes asshole-ish to me cause I was tired .. Total ass too the following day whenever he faps at night with me in the living space , if I happened to pass out from exhaustion on the couch I have woken up to that look on his face you know the cat that swallowed the canary look .. I am not even upset anymore because I did learn to never trust and give my heart to another man .. I guess I decide who calls the shots this time around .. I plan on dumping him soon .. Because he definitely doesnt respect me and I lost whatever respect I had for him at the start of our relationship ..
Wow , my husband can be cocky too . It’s infuriating. I want to punch him in the face lol but I don’t . I kinda just giggle inside how stupid he looks
I said my goodbyes to him this morning.. Maybe , I am heartless and honestly, I don't give damn if his feelings are hurt , he did not care about mine at all .. When you are in a new relationship and your testing the waters and you discuss previous relationships and why they failed and you explain to him openly and honestly that you were engaged to a porn addict and how it destroyed you emotionally and physically.. I made it clear to him I will not accept porn & p/subs in a relationship .. it was all good until the addiction slowly emerges .. tik tok .. instagirl etc.. I am so done , I am moving on .. I feel that when I told him X, Y and Z are problems for me and he lied to me saying "Nope I really can take it or leave that shit no problemo" That is when I realised that the person I let into my life doesn't exist because he cannot just leave that shit .. Reality check : I just wasted my time and energy on a dishonest human ..
My former SO said that my expectations are impossible for any man to live by .. Where have I heard this before ? "Fantasies are normal "he says and being attracted to other woman is normal" and that "I will never be happy with any man because I am demanding unrealistic behaviour from men" .. There were more word vomit from his pathetic mouth before he slammed the door on his way out .. Good bye to rubbish .. Now I am sitting here stewing .. I was tempted to show him this site .. If he decides to come back for another screaming match , I will entertain him with such knowledge and show him .. Why does this addiction have so many addicts ? I have tried to help men in my previous relationships but it is like air to them they need it to live .. This time around I just want to give up ..
Lol! Said every porn addict who thinks every man is an addict. They are not. But until the addict cleans up his actions and thoughts, they will continue to think all men do it. Same way they believe everyone in the porn industry is there for the money when the vast majority have been trafficked in one way or another. Not all, but a huge portion even within the “ amateur “ porn. So many women who don’t even know they’ve been recorded.
Okay so here it goes .. I show The NF site to my SO he seemed surprised that people want to give up porn .. I was surprised when he said to me that he wants to cut back on porn, slowly like when you quit other vices .. Also he said the Smart Phone is like the " Gateway to Porn" it is always available .. I will believe it when I see it, if he really does mean what he said .. annnnd trust is earned .. It will take time.. I wish him the best on this journey as I will be supportive and loving and most importantly not the porn police .. I am all about chances but he has to do the work .. I can't fix him .. This time I am not dependant on anyone and I do not have to stick around if I choose not to .. I CAN SAY GOOD - BYE ! My former fiance (PA) knew I had no other means but to stay there in an environment with him that I felt very isolated .. A sad life I do not want to repeat .. I felt bad about his addiction, I wanted to help him, but he let me leave after a very long drag out break up , and when we split then he cared that I was gone but... not enough ... HE DID NOT QUIT PORN ! Okay end of my rant
SO is cranky already .. he said it is much more difficult than he thought > so many p/subs.. I told him to relax and do some reading up on the addiction , get a better understanding of it.. He opened up to me about how he would PMO before bed to fall asleep .. How you can just do it anywhere for just about any reason.. also he said he uses his phone much more than his laptop and he needs his phone .. I tried to be understanding but it is not easy when it was lies upon lies ..
I have been busy and its good to be out and about with friends .. The weekend was fun with SO we had sex all weekend ..❤ I feel he is trying when he is home but he does'nt at work ( when the cats away I guess the mice will play with themselves) I hope I am wrong .. I need to trust him .. I have to work on myself too and let go of the negative vibes ..
We are both struggling.. I am with my insecurities and him with urges .. I have been keeping myself busy with family and friends .. My best comfort has been my lil dog her cuteness makes me so happy and I never feel alone when she snuggles up against me .. I have been spending every extra $ on her too I will be taking her with us on our vacation My SO has been cooking awesome recipes and making a huge effort to stay off of his devices many of his temptations have been Japanese manga , erotic stories .. he has been open and honest that he also has fetishes for barely legal teens .. I am letting him know how difficult this has been for me to take in .. We are taking small steps and all I want for him to do is keep being honest .. No more devices in the bathroom nothing is really that important that it can't wait .. I am not giving up .. I am just scared I don't want to go through all the hurt that happened with my former PA .. Seriously can you blame me ..?
