Hi I dont exactly know why im posting this, but maybe its going to help me. I do not really find stories here that match mine. I do not have tiktok, I do read books, I do not game anymore, I do not eat unhealthy, I do excercise 3-4 times a week, I do have a bachelors in engineering and now finishing my masters, I do not extensionally use the internet, I do have a girlfriend where I have sex with without any problem and I have a selective group of friends that are very close. But there is one thing what cant control, and that is watching porn. I never saw it as a problem, since I was doing it since my 12th-13th and everyone talked about it like its the most normal case in the world. The fact that the genres I watch became more extreme and weird over the years, do scare me and Im very embarassed for it. Really embarasing, that is the only thing that comes up because my real life sexual taste is really vannilla. If I watch porn I just get soaked in a imaginative world and if I think about it later I am really embarassed. I dont do PMO everyday, its just 2-3 times a week, but I really want to experience what it is like when you dont PMO for a long time period. I tried so many times to stop, but my streaks dont last longer than 1 or 2 weeks. I was really wondering if there are more people who have their life already "On track", but keep struggle with this.
I do believe many have simmilar situation. If you can share, when you started first consuming P, was it vanilla or always different stuff?
I'm sure many people here have a similar problem. Porn is addictive and like any other addictive substance, it's hard to eliminate completely. The question is specific to each individual, how much porn is too much? When I was in Alcoholics Anonymous, some people thought they were alcoholics because they drank 4 light beers a week. Other people drank a bottle of whiskey before lunch and thought they were not alcoholics. So as you see, whether your life is on track or not, the question is if you want to stop and can't, then you have a problem. The best way to stop is to fight the urge by doing something else. Don't give in to the urges and ultimately the urges should come less often and not be as powerful.
It started vanilla, but since a couple years it got out of hand. Since I cannot manage to stop, I consider myself as an addict. I really tried stuff: I regularly meditatie, which was seen as THE solution by some. I removed tiktok and instagram. The problem is that I am working on my laptop the whole day and when I am bored I go and search and get distracted and before you know its PMO.
That could be dopamine receptors getting used to certain levels of dopamine, so they crave something more exotic because over the time those receptors get "damaged" so to speak. In theory abstaining for longer of periods from PMO could revert the change, although i have seen some people bingeing alot after reboots, so it is not clear situation for every case. You can try to abstain for longer periods of time, or gradually cutting out certain content, and from there see how it goes.
You answered your question about your problem. You PMO when you get bored, the solution is to find other things to do so you won't get bored. Start living a full life, go out with friends, go to the gym, learn a new hobby, read a book, etc. We all create our own lives, some of us fall short by not figuring out how not to be bored. Action, we must fill our lives with action.
It happened for me because of a total life makeover when I quit drinking and doing drugs. My sexual behaviors, or any vices, will not change without adjusting the smaller aspects of my life, such as diet, exercise, screen time, friendships, support groups, church, prayer, meditation, learning new habits, etc. Other people have mentioned this as well. It's not just the behavior, but things that allow the behavior to live (thoughts, people, places, things, activities, stressors, etc.) Whatever that is for you, relative to your situation, apply accordingly.
What if try to change your work place my friend?If you can use P around work, it means that you have a perconal work place.I used to have such problem,so when I have to use computer,I walk 2KM to public library and make sure the work is done here
