Hi everyone, Well I decided to stop yesterday. Here is my story (sorry for the length)... I started fapping almost everyday at the age of 15. Porn pictures before I had an internet access, and then videos. You know. I had few girlfriends in my life (5, all in all), and had sex for the first time at the age of 24, with the woman who is my wife now. Since we "physically" met, I stopped fapping, thinking "it's okay now, I have someone with whom I can do it, that's great!" She is a lovely woman but very anxious and, let's say it, not easy to have sex with. I mean, she has difficulties to get relaxed during penetration and sometimes it hurts. Moreover, although she enjoys "non penetration sex" (me too) and has orgasms, she'll almost never say me something like "I'd like to have sex now, don't you?". I have desire for her and I express it, but for her once a week is enough. So as it's I came back to fapping during the week. She's a bed-early (~22:00) and I'm a night-owl(~00:00). We spend the evenings together and when she decides to go to bed, I work a bit (I'm a musician an electronics hobbyist) then watch porn and you know... I've had this rhythm for 4 years now. Our sexual life is a bit sad for me, and the worst is that I sometimes have difficulties to get a proper erection with my wife. Sad. Even If she wanted me to penetrate her I'm not sure I could. Very sad. Strange to write it all in this forum. Sorry but I'll tell you all the truth... last two years I saw a dozen of prostitutes... Damn me. I feel it as a sort of revenge : "you don't want sex? okay, no problem. I find a solution by myself..." Sometimes it's enjoyable, sometimes less. But actually it's really, really not a solution. I just feel like a poor guy and want to change this. Yesterday I decided to change things: 1. Stop cheating on my wife 2. Stop PMO 3. Be okay with my wife's sex desires (week-end only). Well, the first point is easy to achieve. The second and third will be hard work. I hope I'll find some good advises with you guys Thanks for reading my poor story.
Hi Cocopops! Welcome! You are at the right place to get help. Although this is a problem that ultimately you have to solve, this community is great to help you through some of the difficulties you may face. Everyone is so kind and understanding here and we are all happy you chose to live a happier, healthier life. Good luck! -it's worth it
Hi Andrew, hi Blondewife, First of all, thanks a lot for your support Andrew, I know it would be the best human solution to tell her the whole story that you read, but... I don't know if we would survive. I already told her a few times that I'd like to have sex with her more often than once a week, but it seems very difficult to her. I didn't tell her my PMO and I probably never tell her for the paid sex. Too coward maybe but I'm sure you can guess how difficult it can be. For me the priority now is to stop it all and see what changes in my life (and hers!) I'll start a journal and my first goal is 10 days. Thanks again to you both
