Hi! Have had an 11 month porn free streak in the past, but was struggling to avoid both psubs and masturbation. These two things made me fall back to porn again, so I want to get rid of them for good. I have almost never been able to pass two week without masturbation. I feel like I have all the practical things under control, I know what I need to do avoid getting urges and I know how I can fight the urges. But I end up falling for it anyway, either by rationalizing my way out or by just not caring if I fail. If I end up reseting at some point anyway, why not now? Why would this time be the time I reach my goal? Does anyone have experience with fighting this lack of motivation? Any advice? Should I change my attitude in some way?
One thing I have learnt (and I am far from an expert) is that your ability or inability to quit porn lies souly with you and your willingness to quit. I have had a billion times where I have said 'ah fuck it i'm just gonna jack off' or 'what does ot matter anyway' - those kinda self defeating thoughts. I would PMO, fall back into the hole and inevitably feel like shit again. I realised one day that this is 100% on me. That you have to be self motivated to quit. That you can't rely on anyone else to stop you looking at porn. So I started to shift my attitude. I accepted tgat resets would come along the way. I told my wife and made myself accountable for my actions. All the best man
Thank you for your insight and support. In which way did you shift your attitude? And have you managed to keep that new attitude without falling back to old thoughts?
To watch porn and empty the balls into a woman that is not his GF or wife (prostitute) is exactly the same thing but the second one is even worse. A man should empty his balls just into his girlfriend or wife. Otherwise, he is not healing anything at all.
I totally agree that sexual urges is a feature of life and should be appreciated. But I also believe that it is something that can, and should be controlled. I agree that having casual sex would bring down my urges to masturbate, but I also think that casual sex won't bring me the long term happiness and satisfaction that I am looking for. I would rather masturbate than have casual sex. I understand that this is something in which we have different opinions and I respect that.
I think once i started to see how often I PMO'd and how easy it was for me to relapse despite my best intentions that I realised that I had to own it and really pull my finger out and try to quit. Anything less than 100% commitment won't do.
