Just happend to me

I’m new to this thing, so bear with me…here’s my story…. Like most guys in the 30yr old age rage, vie been masturbating off and on and having sex since my teens…..but I didn’t start doing it to porn til 2 years (imp 32). I’ve ALWAYS had a high sex drive..its ended relationships dude to me “just not having enough”. So now I’m in a long term relationship..completely in love..My woman’s drive almost matches mine and we have great sex (watched porn together, role play, talk dirty, all the things that are said to keep a healthy sex relationship with your partner and keep things interesting and spontaneous) usually 2 days a week. But from time to time, when we go a few days without sex, search the web and fap…sometimes for hours. At the end of last year I stopped working. I have had a lot of time at home and vie found myself fapping some weeks every day..when I wake up, before the gym, after she goes to sleep cuz imp up late. Then I’ll go a few days without then the cycle starts again. The thing is, I don’t really get off on the chicks in the vids..im usually picturing ME and MY girl( imp crazy about her..shes very attractive). Or Im doing it to no porn just picturing a scenario with her. I realllllly don’t need the porn to get off. It just made it easier and gave me something to look at. I take sports supplements….what I take raises testosterone ( alllll natural though..if Bodybuilding.com wont sell it cuz it’s a pro hormone I don’t buy it). So in raising my testosterone my sex drive went waaaaayyy up. In addition to this, I was taking stimulants….looots and lootttss of them. So with that came always wanting to have sex all the time which led to me fapping more due to me being home alone for so long and amped sex drive. Now…stimulants can stress your adrenals. In doing so can cause adrenal fatigue and a whole load of other problems most of which in turn cause ED (or so vie read). Sooo..here is where I noticed things started going south.. me and my girl hadn’t had sex in about 5 days. I fapped a few days outta the week then eventually we had sex..i had no problems. At the end of the week I decided to do a full body cleanse and chill out on my supplements to give my body a break..ive been going hard on them for 3 months ( more on the stims). At the end of my cleanse, about 4 weeks ago.. I was feeling weak of course( lack of usual vitamins and stims, diet was different ) and hadn’t really hit up the gym in 4 days. So one day we are laying in bed and we start to do our thing. I started to feel what I remember feeling something similar to performance anxiety ( the whole I hope she likes it/does she enjoy it/she doesn’t like it..”baby are you ok..do you want me to stop” crap, along with feeling low and unsure of myself and shaky). My equipment wasn’t working as it should...only about 65% and less than that PIV. Mind you, we have NEVER had this problem..we have been together 4 years. She of course not knowing got mad and thought it was something else going. Hell I was confused. Didn’t make sense to me. I clearly wanted to do it. I was in the mood. FREAKED ME OUT. So I chalked it up to me being worn out cuz of the body change. A few days later I was fapping again..few hours wasted..same old PMO..I noticed I was getting bored with it. Day went by..PMO..but this time I noticed I couldn’t maintain an E and I had an O without having 100% wood. And my semen was thin. So I freaked out even more. I made a appointment with the Dr for the next week. The next day my girlfriend and I went out and had a great time. We spent the entire day hanging out. We got home…had a few glasses of wine…and it was sex with no problems..quite a few rounds at that. We figured I was fapping too much and that I should take a break. Plus taking a break made the sex better…I went out grabbed some natural herb aphrodisiacs and started popping them. So we went a week with no sex and no fapping and I didn’t go see the DR. The next weekend, we had sex and I had no problems at all. Then the next day I was looking at my history on my laptop, clicked on an old site and started fapping. I did that for literally 4 days straight. And during the 4th day I noticed my ED again. Having an O at 65 or 75% wood. I quit of course hoping to repair myself..but after that I felt off. Like waaayy off. The following Saturday( 5 days ago) I felt aggitated with everything..for no reason..later that night my girl and I were doing our thing and I couldn’t stay above 90% until I was about to O and I PE twice...PIV was at like 85%. And the next day to make things worse I tried to “prove to myself” that I was fine and fapped to no porn…BAD IDEA..I was at 75% and it came out like water. SO..for the 4 days since then I haven’t had a full E. All id have to do is look at my girl or think about sex and Id be 100%. I’ve only had a semi when I wake up in the morning. I haven’t fapped nor have I wanted to.. This morning was the fullest its been all week but its still not at 100%. The “head” isn’t full and its pointed. I’ve been taking a few herbs to help with NO boosting and natural test boosting..i just went and got a few to rebuild my nuros ( Gaba w/ niacin, CDP Choline, lemon balm, Huperzine A w/ Ginko, L-Tyrosine w/ green tea extract) cuz I probably don’t have enough dopamine since my receptors are worn down a bit…I don’t feel weak or foggy really…unless I don’t eat cuz imp stressed about this problem. What’s funny is I still have a sex drive. I still want to have sex with my girl and thinking about it makes my body hot. I’m still VERY attracted and turned on by her and thoughts of her. It’s just hard to get an E unless its early morning with her and even then it’s tough..its better today though..but not where it should be. I just made a Dr. appointment for this coming Tuesday and imp going to get my Hormone levels checked and tested in about 3hrs. What’s weird is that I really didn’t and still don’t have a “strong urge” to watch porn or read erotica. I mean I have gotten all worked up while sitting on my computer and said “ you know what. I sure could use some right now” and fapped, but I easily did the same without watching anything..all my thoughts involved my girl...I dont think im addicted to porn..but i chronic masterbate...which is just as bad. I may be wrong, but this problem could be a combination of a few things:

• Me freaking out when it first happened and never fully recovering from the mental shock that it caused me. Leading me to want to force it.
• Stressing about this problem and getting depressed about it..which is Not helping • Being afraid it will happen again..causing anxity
• Coming off of the 8 weeks of test boosters (A-HD and Solid) • Coming off of about 2 years (off and on ) of stimulants
• Me being worried that the supplements screwed up my adrenals
• Plus the fapping

I seem to only get any kind of feeling down there when Im with her and things are comfortable. I read some ppl find recovery with this thing easier when they reset with having sex with their partners, focusing on just whats going on or what has gone on between them. I was good after the first incident and had no sex issues for two weeks. But I screwed up by fapping for 5 days straight after. I’m just glad that I didn’t keep it up for months or years before I realized that I needed to fix this. Hopefully given my state it’s not extremely bad..and I wont a worse time. Pulse I start a new job next week ive been after for 6 months.