I wish that I was done by now. I have so much that I want to do in life, and yet this addiction nips me in the bud every time, it sucks. We all know that dumb feeling we get after relapse, "Why the heck am I here again," that's me right now. I've watched porn for around 4 years now, I've traded in meaningful relationships for time spent with a screen. I've found myself at my lowest spot in life, over and over again. Depressed, defeated, disengaged with reality, and desperately in need of freedom. I'm sorry for my sins (I am a believer). These sorts of things always sound dramatic. I'm sad and lonely, and even porn can't help with that. I'm afraid of myself, of my own control, I'm losing a grip. And at the same time, I'm ready for a fight. I'm not giving up, I can't afford to. I am alive and I have so much more to do in life than waste hours on sexual fantasies. I'm moving on to clearer waters now, to a better horizon, one with out the darkness of my past, and the poison of my addiction. You can call me Henry. I'm 20. I'm from Iowa. And I am ready to move past my emotional maturity and gain control over my actions and life.
Hey Henry, I've got family and church in Iowa, good place. What does the future look like for you? Do you have something you should be or could be doing with that time? I've also failed numerous times. I'd like to say this is my ending streak. And I hope it is. I've made one small change, besides my numerous blockers. I've trained myself to look away from sexual things, and not to indulge in the hint of them. It's one extra little wall, but it's something! Wishing you all the best.
Welcome, Henry! We can all relate to the different thoughts, feelings and emotions you are experiencing over and over with this addiction. There is hope for a brighter future, though. Freedom is possible with the right amount of effort and support. It’s not easy to break free but it can be done. There are two questions we must ask ourselves: 1. What things must we give up in order to overcome PMO? What leads us to PMO? Discovering our triggers is key. 2. What things must we add to our lives to replace PMO? What good things can we add to our lives? If you are a follower, ask yourself what you can do to become more devoted. What good can we do in the community around us? Recovery is all about finding the reasons why we turn to PMO as an escape from reality and then changing our behavior so that we can deal with the difficulties of life in a healthier way. Best of luck to you!
