Is it immature to ask parents for relationship advice as an adult?

Your ex is simply trying to irritate you and it's coming from a spirit of bitterness. She's bitter that you broke up with her. I wouldn't hesitate to ask my parents for dating advice. They've been married for over 30 years and that's a big commitment. If I were you, I would've done the same thing.

 

Dude. If the ex left you, what say does she have in it? You needed support. Maybe you'll get stronger over time, to a degree. But, if you invested of yourself in a relationship, then it's a serious ordeal to overcome and you'll always need an emotional safety net in your life.

Like what Drac is saying, though. Maybe it's better as advice than raw venting. Best thing is do what it takes to get through it. And, there has to be some jealousy about how you have family to rely on. If at all possible, don't let that stuff get to you. Easier said than done.

Best of luck getting back on your feet. Must be hard times.

 

Just yesterday I asked my mother over the phone how to make some Schweinsbraten, pork in the oven with dark beer sauce (greetings from Bavaria). Its not an easy recipe but it turned out quite well thanks to her. She is also the same person who teached me how to walk and therefore it feels quite natural to ask her about any advice. In fact, its in some way even a duty of parenthood to teach your offspring the necesarry skills for living successfully. So I would not feel weird about it in any way.

If we are talking specifically about relationship advice I dont see any reason why it should be different than concerning Schweinsbraten or any other topic. In some way mothers are even more competent to give relationship advice because: 1. They know you personally quite well 2. they are women themself and give you an important perspective 3. they are from another generation and can transfer some wisdom they gained in their years.

Of course, and no one is denying that, you dont have to follow the advice of your parents. You dont have to follow any advice of any person. Not even your doctor. But if someone makes an argument that makes a lot of sense or gives quality advise, you would be stupid to dismiss it completely. Make your decisions yourself, but get advice from anyone who could give you valuable insights. It has nothing to do with your age and nothing to do who the other person is.

And since you are still in the early break up phase: Its normal to feel irritated about your own feelings and decisions. You literally had to say good bye to something that was in some way important to you in a hard but necessary way. I wish you all the best.

 

It’s neither immature, nor shameful, to rely on your parents into adulthood and even when you have your own kids. They have experience and wisdom that you don’t, and they are willing to share, so it would be foolish to scorn that help and try to do it all alone.

 

The only reason your ex is upset is because you made her look bad to your mother. I might see her point better if you two were still together. Your wife knows that you're mother won't be as forgiving for the way she treats you, her son.

So I do think it's damaging to a relationship for either partner to make one another look bad to others, especially a parent. Yet I see women do this probably more than men. But now that you're broken up, I don't see it so bad. Why should your ex care? She's probably smearing your name in front of her family and friends. I believe that she thinks you're doing this out of spite and being malicious by sharing details of your relationship to your mother. Which you're not. Your seeking wise counsel. And I believe that's more important than trying to protect her reputation.

On another note, why are you and your ex still communicating? If you two are considering getting back together, then going to your mom would absolutely be a bad idea. But otherwise, stop communicating with your ex. The relationship is over. Move on.