Hi, I'm a 21 year old guy looking to quit pornography and masturbation addiction. Eventually I would like to live my life without even having to give it thought and have lust not be a part of my life or character. But like many things worth something I might have to struggle a little before things het better. Although this is an introduction post, I am not new to nofap. I first got introduced to porn I think around the age of 11 or 12 and quickly spiralled into an addiction. I remember at one point I was doing it every day for at least 5+ times. After a while I could not help but feel that this was not good for me and I found nofap around the age of 14 or 15. I was originally introduced to it by youtube (channels such as flockatv and goldjacketlule). I really struggled at first but eventually made some progress. I got to s streak of 28 days which was my highest at the time (although there was some edging involved). I feel to see any more progress however and have ended up in a cycle of short streaks and binge relapses ever since. Last year I joined this forum (different account) and got to my highest streak of 50+ days, which was my first and only time making it past 30 days. However again, there was quite a lot of edging and porn usage during this time. Despite this I felt good and happy to finally get some progress going. Since then I have yet a gain failed to reach any considerable streaks or make any real progress. My streaks usually end up beong aeound 3 days and then I relapse going all out. The habit of not just leaving it masturbating one time has stuck with me and is very bad. I've been trying to breaks this addiction for about 6 years and have not made the progress I would like to see. I have yet to make it to 30 days without pmo. This makes me feel like somewhat of a failure. Despite struggling with this addiction, my life is not all too bad. My health is good and I would say I have an active and healthy lifestyle. My job and financial situation are things I am just getting starting on, but they are looking optimistic as well. My social life could be better, but it is not too bad (I just wish I had more friends and I have had a lack of romantic relationship). Where this addicton really gets to me is my mental health and state of mind. It's like I'm on constant up and downs, because I relapse so often but do want to get some streaks of abstinance going. It' like I'm on a raft in rough ocean waters. This is something I am really struggling with and is my main reason for starting this journey/post. I want to break the cycle. Break free of the addiction and live a peaceful life. This marks the start of my new journey. Despite being at it for a while I remain optomistic and hopeful that I will overcome this addiction.
