You are seeing the natural beauty that is around you, man. Take your time. Get over this addiction. And then go out and enjoy your life.
wanted to re-do this and start from monday 12am. I've just installed k9 and won't even log onto this site until i mess up. and i won't mess up. I'm going to do this.
K9 is great. But I don't recommend leaving NoFap. Posting achievements or asking for help is what NoFap is here for. It isn't for the failures, it is for the encouragement and support. Well done for continuing. A single blip won't have set you back much, physically so you have 28 days to build on top of. That taste of being clean over 28 days, all those realisations, all those achievements, all that work still stands. Keep going. Keep fighting.
i did say i wouldnt log in unless fail but thought i would post as a form of therapy. im 20 days and a half in right now. I'm re-reading a few posts and noticed that from this point to day 27 (where i failed) i start 'searching names' and 'giving in slightly' by thinking too long on ex's or P. this is happening again, but i now have set myself a challenge to beat this and see what lies ahead of this i.e. day 28 onwards. so by next sunday i will be on day 27 which is my longest streak. i can see my achievements since joining as this. 1. i have gone the last 47/48 days and only watched P on one day, M twice and O (via M) twice. That is a massive thing for me in itself and in fact if someone said this was signs of an addict i would say no. this seems like someone who doesn't have a problem at all. HOWEVER i am a religious person and know that PM is wrong so it's a sin regardless of being an addiction or not. 2. my first long streak of 27 days was whilst i was having relations with my wife every 4/5 days. This time (20 days in) i haven't had relations once (as she is in final stages of pregnancy) and i have only had one wet dream (14 days in). So i am effectively hard mode at the moment and the strange this is this - the same feelings regardless of whether i have relations with my wife or not are here. This means i have a problem with P and not with M or O. There is no correlation with libido/lack of O/build up of testerone/semen and these cravings of P. Well not for me anyway. This is actually quite an important discovery as shows that I have a problem and a sick voice in my head. 3. i know due to my wife's pregnancy i will have to remain hard mode for another 1-2 months (post birth)but yet this is not discouraging me to do PMO. So this is a positive and again shows my issue is with P. lastly, something quite strange happened last night. i had an erotic dream and woke up around 4.30am believing i had wet myself. but i hadn't, although I'm sure i felt an O. i went back to sleep and again had an erotic dream and woke at 9.30am (I'm having a lazy sunday!!) and AGAIN i thought i had wet myself, but i hadn't, although I'm sure i felt an O. has anyone else experienced/heard of this?! i know for sure the cravings were really bad yesterday and the dreams were so realistic but still there was no ejacualtion? and today i don't feel as super charged as yesterday??! it's almost like i 'edged' in my dreams, although I'm sure i O without ejaculation???!
You are doing really well. For 48 days you have been a very different person to what you were before. Event that 1 occasion where you PMO'd you were a different person - one that knew there was a better way to be. You now know yourself much better and you know what your weakness is and what you have to change. You are becoming the man you want to be. Well done. As for dreams, usually it is just the mind living out either very recent or very old memories. Even the memories of O. Be careful not to mistake deep-sleep dreams with dozing fantasies. I have only ever had one dream where I O in it. It was before the challenge. It was just a dream. My advice is not to dwell on it. Ignore it and move on. My best wishes for you for your upcoming birth. Nothing focuses the mind on the realities of life than the arrival of a new life that relies totally on you. Good luck.
ok, so i messed up in october time..but now i am currently only longest streak 37 days in! feel happy to know i have got so far, but over the last 3 days my brain has been going into overdrive wanting to look at images/listen to music with sexual lyrics - need to focus and keep going!
