I have returned (90 days after falling from 480 days)

I have successfully completed 90 days after crashing down from a streak which was more than 480 days. Looking back at this current streak as well as my streak before that (which was my longest ever) I have come to the following conclusions.

• The mistake I made in my previous streak was to feel overconfident and then indulge in sexual fantasies. I noticed that the desire to think about women tends to arise in a background of boredom. Boredom is a feeling we all like to run away from and because of our habitual tendencies, we like to fill this space of boredom with something stimulating and exciting. Given the history of most of us on NoFap, this usually tends to be thoughts related to sexual desire. Initially there was concern as to why I had no interest in making my mind generate such thoughts. I did make some effort initially and then later I started to enjoy it and then MO. Since falling from my previous streak I've had to reset several times.
• The fall happened when I had a wet dream and then had to face the chaser effect. I wanted to experience another wet dream (or eve lucid dream sex) so I engaged in sexual fantasies whiles being in bed hoping that I would get a wet dream. The lesson I learnt from this is that wet dreams lead to the chaser effect where one is at risk of relapsing.
• All the resets I had since my last streak had a few things in common. Firstly, they all came at night when I was in bed. When in bed I would think of women. Some of them start of as 'innocent' thoughts like holding hands with girls and seeing each other. Then later the thoughts move on to more intimate imaginations before resulting in MO. Secondly, if I recall correctly, they all happened within a period of 21 days (3 weeks). This may show that the chaser effect could last even upto 21 days in some fapstranauts.
• I noticed that there is a changeover from the desire to MO in a background of an urge to the feeling of pleasure when an urge arises. I couldn't keep track of which day I felt this way, but I felt this way after my first month. So I could only guess that it could be between Day 30 and Day 40 when this changeover could have happened, where the desire to MO gets replaced with the feeling of pleasure when an urge arises where one doesn't respond to that, the usual way they used to.
• In my first successful streak I had to take measures that I didn't take before given that all my previous streaks failed prior to this. I used to wear two underwears and keep an ice pack in between them as well as do cold showers more often than not. I also kept a journal from day 100 to 190. This time I did not have to rely on such measures. Even though I did not consider myself an addict to P, it still was holding me back from the life I really wanted to live. Despite falling from my previous streak its not like I went back to how I used to be and bouncing back was a lot easier. It showed me that the longer one's first successful steak is, the easier it is to bounce back despite resetting.

Please do note that I am speaking from my own experience only. Here in NoFap we all come from different backgrounds where even our dependence and addictions maybe of different shapes and sizes. Therefore the numbers of days could be different for us, but what is of more importance are the underlying principles behind them that ....

• Overconfidence and too much reassurance is the beginning of the journey to a reset/relapse.
• Thoughts of sexual desire can arise in a background of boredom, which can lead to further indulgence in such thoughts leading to MO.
• Seemingly innocent thoughts in relation to women can later lead to sexual fantasies where MO usually takes place.
• Chaser effect can kick in post-wet dreams.
• There is a window period from the start of one's streak where one is still vulnerable to reset and relapse. Once this window period is overcome then the streak gets easier and effortless.
• Subsequent streaks may be easier than the first successful streak. It shows the power of rebooting which can positively impact streaks later on even if one was to reset after a long successful streak.

As for me I tend to do NoFap in phases where each phase may last from 90 to 180 days. I will consider this as Phase 1. Now I am moving on to Phase 2 which I hope to start either end of December. We all have our own reasons to do NoFap. My goal is to achieve complete full celibacy in body, speech and mind. NoFap as well as YBOP have shown that P addiction or dependence can be overcome by giving our brain rest from PMO, which would give our brain enough time to rewire itself. Likewise I am convinced that if I give my brain rest from any type of sexual thought then eventually those neural pathways would get weaker and come to an end. I like to see how this same principle to overcome P addiction/dependence can be used to live a celibate life in an effortless manner. I believe its the same principle in practice which needs to be carried out in a larger scale.

 

Thank you hollyman. Good to see your resilience and not giving up. As for me I am doing celibacy indefinitely.

Hole whatever the lessons I learned will be of help.