Hello dear forum! Mixed feelings for joining this forum but I am trying to get some help as doing things on my own and just creeping through the forums was not helping. I am a 35 y/o male that has been struggling with addiction since probably the age of 10. I actually started MOing before I got into porn itself, I used to masturbate putting my penis in between my legs but I had no idea at first of what it is I was doing, it just felt good. I have struggled with anxiety through most of life and the depression hit me really hard in my 20s. I am now at a point in my life where I am feeling better about myself and I have a grasp of the things that I have done to sabotage my own life. However last year, I had a bad relapse and was smoking weed and watching porn a lot, and my weight and health deterioted horribly. I got engaged on new years eve to a wonderful woman that knows that I have an addiction and has suffered through the lack of sex drive and the fact that I don't enjoy sex as much as other people. I want to be better for her, I want to be better for myself I want to us to get married more in love with eachother than and I want enjoy myself with her. I also want to focus on improving my body in order to keep improving my mental health as well. I have chosen not to watch porn and not to masturbate in order to be able to create a better experience with my fiancee. I do not know if I will have mini relapses of me going to a site or something, but I mostly care about not masturbating and not lingering on porn. I have not decided if I will get a partner yet, probably will make that decision this week. My longest streak of that was 52 days. So far, I have been porn free since December 31st at around 3 PM. Thanks for your time peeps, will do my best to be a positive force in here.
Welcome to the forum brother. All relapses start on social media. You can kick this addiction by the grace of God. Fantasy is our drug. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance and watching every thought. Bad thoughts bring forth bad fruit. Good thoughts being forth good fruit. Thoughts come and go and the most important thing is not acting on the thoughts.
Thank you my friend! Thanks for your words and your support, I will keep your advice in mind as I move forward
Welcome! @Freeme11 I hope this community can help you get rid of your addiction so it can bring something positive to yourself and together with your partner. A very common thing I notice while welcoming new members is that most of you guys either started masturbating early or began watching porn at a young age, which make me feel kinda odd. I began to watch porn and started masturbating at 22 which many of you could have start doing at the age between 7-12 years old. My only defense, I guess is that I wasn't a very sexually attracted kid.
Hey OC! Thanks for the good wishes! I guess we all have different paths as with many things in life, I have fantasized about women for as long as I can remember and maybe that has been a big contributor to my addiction. Maybe you had a different outlet for that energy until your 20s? I know I was a pretty sedentary kid until I hit my teams and discovered I actually loved sports
Probably, women was not my first priority as a kid. I've never had a girlfriend or wife and I don't have any desire for one either. I enjoy being single, because I like to have the freedom to do what I want when I want, and compromise is not my strongest side. I see more disadvantages to have a girlfriend or wife than advantages.
