Recently I’ve started to pay more attention to my thoughts before I relapse. I can hear the whispers of the devil in my mind, telling me things like “it’s been a while since you last PMO’d, therefore it’s okay”, “it’s been a challenging day, you need this to relax and release stress”, “you can worry about the consequences later”. There’s another part of me that wants to reach for the Bible, start to pray, get down on my knees if I have to. But I can feel myself resisting this. At the very moment I should be bringing these evil thoughts before God and asking for His help, I’m shutting Him out. It’s far easier to give in to the temptation, then deal with the regret and ask for forgiveness afterwards. Has anyone else felt like this before and if so, what have you done about it?
This is the very heart of the battle. This moment you describe is where the rubber meets the road. In this moment, we decide whether we will fight in our own strength or allow the Lord to fight for us. When I choose to fight on my own, I almost inevitably end up losing the fight and yielding to temptation. I am weak. But He is strong! If, instead, I allow him to fight for me, I tend to defeat the temptation and not give in to it. For me, letting Christ fight on my behalf looks like this: I commit to take no action when an urge comes. Instead, I sit still and focus on the troubling thought. I hand it over to the Spirit and ask him to show me the lie in it. I sit with the thought in the Spirit's presence until the lie is revealed to me. Then I ask for help finding the truth that will counter the lie right at the very point where it pierces my soul, the truth that will set me free from that terrible agony. When the truth is revealed to me (often a reminder of a truth from Scripture), I sit with it, turning my attention away from the lie I have been believing or want to believe and focusing all my attention on the truth instead. I meditate on the truth until the temptation has faded. Sometimes this process can take hours. Sometimes in occurs all in an instant. Through practice, we can learn to execute these steps more automatically. And as we train ourselves to turn our hearts and minds to him in every tough situation, we come to rely on his goodness. Indeed, in this way, we become his disciples and learn to live as his brothers, all of us sons of the King.
Thank you, Tao Jones, for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I know that currently I am making a conscious decision to trust in myself to resist temptation. As you describe, this inevitably leads to failure. Trusting in my own ability to withstand temptation is a lie in itself, as if this were possible, I would have quit PMO a long time ago. Rather than just hoping they go away or attempting to distract myself, I must now consciously commit to bringing my evil thoughts before God and allow Him to expose them for the lies that they are. Please pray for me. Thank you once again and may God bless you.
I think it's a huge benefit if you become conscious about your own thoughts! Every thought can be true, or can be a lie. I have learned that a lie will bring misery in my life. But when I believe a thought that is true, it will bring good fruit in my life. One of our tasks is to eliminate the lies we believe in (and follow up) and replace them with truths. This way you can literally talk your seductive urges away. This is a sort of spiritual laziness, fed by all the times you gave into the "easy fix that PMO brought you". Yes it's more easy to give into temptation, but realizing the results of it should make it able to make a different choice the next time. One of the most powerful tools God Word handed out to me to handle my thoughts, is this verse: 2 Cor 10 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds) 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; "Cast down every imagination (=every thought) and bring it into captivity to the obedience of Christ." I put this into practice every single day, especially just before sleep when the enemy is trying to disturb me with filty thoughts or images. As soon as I speak this verse out loud (...) the image just disappears and I can sleep peacefully. I would highly recommend you to learn this verse by heart and start practicing it. In the beginning it will be hard, and you probably will have to repeat it over and over. But I can say, the more you put it into practice, the cleaner your mind will be. And the cleaner your mind will be, the less hunger you will have for porn. Pray to God and share Him all your thoughts and struggles, let Him guide you to make the necessary steps. May His peace be upon you!
Thank you, Roady, for taking the time to share this with me. I’ve been reading the Bible regularly for a little while now, but am yet to really take the time to commit some of these powerful verses to my mind. I will start with this one you suggested. It reminded me of another verse I found quite impactful: 1 Corinthians 10 13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. This reminds me of a few things: a) That there are many who have faced such temptations before, many who face them now and many who will in the future. I am not alone. b) I am weak, but God is strong. He is faithful, He is my rock, and He is there to support me when I am facing temptation. I need to put my trust in Him rather than myself. c) God will provide a way out. There is always a choice. So far, my spiritual laziness, my giving in to the easy fix as you say, has produced only rotten fruit. There is a better way, the way that God intended for my life, that will bring good fruit for me and all those around me. Thank you again and may God’s peace be with you also.
