And maybe I should’ve known better, since I’ve been struggling with the smoking habit for some time. I guess I underestimated the brain system I’ve come to learn about more deeply during the last week. I feel that there’s so much to say, but I will write about it later. My english is a little rusty (I’m brazillian), and I like things well written. Maybe there’s a brain fog on the way too. I am very glad that I found this community. Once I learned the damage that PMO can cause, I saw that many of my difficulties might come from it and got anxious to change. It was awesome to find a place to learn from others’ experiences and feel comfortable to share my own. Until now, my record is 4 days, I reset today... It made me realize this journey won't be as easy as I thought, so I decided to sign in here.
I decided to share more About PMO I’m 27, started at 12. It’s been some years since I watch P almost everyday, the exception is when I am having regular sex with someone. However, in all my sexual experiences, I faced difficulties reaching O, so, some years ago, I searched it in the internet and found out about some of the P problems. I stopped for sometime but eventually I gave up and returned to this shameful practice. I thought that I was ok with that problem and that I could watch it without objectifying women in the real life. How I got here Due to recent frustrated love* adventures, my PMO habits increased. Eventually I got tired of the guilt and shame and started looking for substitutes for it. During this time, I rediscovered discussions about the effects of P, and this time, I delved deeper into the subject. I related to many of the symptoms, and I noticed my dopamine addiction was a big problem. *Don’t know if I can call it love, I think I have some issues there, beyond the P problems (or maybe not). What I want to change I started to see that I was always checking women’s bodies, I only get interested when the physical form pleases me. I have a high sex drive, but also have difficulty to flirt. I think I developed some social anxiety and, although I’ve had depression and overcome it, I sense its shadow lingering around my thoughts, returning. I procrastinate a lot, I’m taking a lot longer to graduate than I should. I realize I have not been moving towards the person I want to become, basically. Questions I am missing the sense of what comes from P and what is a personal characteristic/difficulty, but that probably will clarify along with the reboot. Is there a place here to discuss the love matter? I think there is a lot to think about it, and the love “problems” can combine with the P effects. Sometimes the urge comes when I am reading threads here, can you give some advice to deal with that?
