So I sat with an urge for a really long time on friday and kept getting thoughts im incredibly bored and I hate my current life. I just sat with that feeling for pretty much all friday night. I ended up slipping up the next day due to the same thoughts. Some people have called it the river of misery.... but I think I am truly read to just ride it out. If it has come down to just dealing with my emotions and depression / loneliness for awhile until I can figure that out and change for the better, I think it is worth it. Because I realize these are the exact emotions I am trying to cover up with porn.... The only times I end up slipping up these days are from feelings of extreme boredum. Any thoughts??
When I first started nofap I dealt with similar feelings. Several times where I just couldn't really function at all. I had health problems and almost died which led to what I would call now a period of depression in my life. I used PMO to cope with that. Once I started working on abstinence from PMO it seemed those periods got shorter and shorter the longer I stayed sober. If I relapsed after 3 to 10 days, the following day I would experience more of those feelings you are expressing. Once I started getting to the 30 to 45 days clean I didn't struggle with that dehabilitating feeling after a relapse and it was very easy to get back to 14 days and beyond. When possible just laying down and taking a nap was one of the most effective ways of getting rid of that feeling, I always woke up getting better. Keep working on what you are doing. You did the right thing that day just feeling all that. With enough determination things can get better.
My friend, porn is not going to make your depression better. It may give you a rush of adrenaline, but in the end it's only going to leave you empty. Despondency will set in and nobody wants that. I don't believe that any porn addict is happy.
