I have made a number of journals here and failed every time and end up deleting them. Well NoFap isn't the only reason of my comeback. I am creating this Journal for tracking my activities so that I won't make same mistake again. I have already completed day 3 till now and it the best moment to start this journal . So,let's do it then.
I relapsed . I don't know why I am failing again and again .If there is some one who does not know how to fight against this addiction what are the tricks and and what to do when urges arrive ?...then it's ok if he fails few times but I know each and everything still I am failing... I know using you smartphone continuously can harm me , I know what to do when you are alone ... and what can you expect in this journey still I am failing... I don't know how I will do it . 1230 Edit -Relapsed again .
I relapsed again . Am I sad about it ? Not really because I was thinking about porn for last full week .I am not gonna count it as clean . Sometimes failing is better rather then waiting for it . I have to come up with a gameplan. Let's see what I can do .
Alexander Pope:Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, As, to be hated, needs but to be seen; Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, We first endure, then pity, then embrace . I used to hate gamblers and druggies .I used to think they are bad people creating chaos in society but now I know how they feel . They are victims of the things that they did not create .
Pope was one of the last true poets, in my book. He conveys substantive ideas while maintaining tight structure and rhyming scheme. Modern writers think vague attempt at a meter and intense feelings is poetry. It’s not. Sincere as they are and beautiful as their writing is, their work isn’t poetry. Recovering addicts are the same. Intense, sincere feelings are great, but they aren’t an adequate substitute for structure and discipline. You won’t recover because you want it enough, or because you feel guilty and filthy after you use. Prove your sincerity, and your commitment to recovery, by putting in the building blocks necessary. Replace your addiction with good habits. Exercise regularly. Journal every day. Remain accountable to someone you trust. Make the required sacrifices: delete social media, get a blocker if it helps, put down your phone, log off the Internet. Structure and discipline combined with articulate passion. That’s how you write poetry, that’s how you quit porn.
This is so true. What did you come up with, @Learner09? (BTW, if you recently relapsed, resetting your counter can help you feel more accountable, which puts another speedbump on the road to relapsing).
(Problem(Problem(problem )))=>This is the thing I came up with ... Well in my case (Porn(laziness (smartphone addiction))) Even if I don't watch porn my screen watch time is 8hrs+ and it is same when I am watching it means I am not doing productive in any case ....So first priority is to reduce phone time . [/QUOTE]
I am doing more work now . I relapsed day before yesterday still the day was productive. The problem is still my screen time is high because my subconscious mind is not trained to fight addiction. So from now I will try to totally minimize my screen time.
Days are better because my screen time is less ... I decided to work on it only till I thinks I am free from it then I'll go for porn and masterbation. Well I know I am just repeating my words again and again but I don't know what to say .
Now my screen time is around 5-6 hrs and I am studying only ... Worst part I have downloaded my study material in my phone and you know if you trying to understand some things you have to watch the content twice at least .So ,it is the reason that my screen time is still high .... But at least I am wasting less time from last 4-5 days . Let's see if I can continue like this or improve this for rest of the month.
