Hello everyone, I'm a 29 year old male who's been using porn on and off since I was a teenager, and I believe it's one of the reasons my social capacities have become completely crippled. Some brief backstory, back when I was 21 years old I was severely depressed with anxiety problems and was diagnosed with AVPD (essentially a personality disorder that leads one to seek isolation due to fear of rejection/social exposure). This lead to me dropping out of university, losing all contact with my friends, and going through a really rough period psychologically. I was fortunate to have supportive parents who allowed me to live with them, and over time I slowly started recovering through a combination of medication, physical exercise (running) and pursuing a creative project that inspired me (learn to play guitar). I eventually stopped taking anti-depressants, was able to return to university, finished my degree, and started working, to the point where today I'm able to financially take care of myself. Despite all these improvements in my life, one thing that remains is my lack of socialization. I only have a few friends who I speak to online, I have a cordial but distant relationship with my coworkers, and I feel despair due to my lack of social life. Trying to socialize and make friends scares me, and speaking with women absolutely terrifies me, and I suspect that one of the causes is my porn habits. I haven't gone for more than two weeks without PMO in my whole life, and I want to kill the habit. This last week I finally took a few steps to start going out into the world, I moved out of my parent's house, and I've decided to attempt NoFap. Since I moved out five days ago I've gone without PMO, and I've already felt myself craving it and starting to feel my will weaken, which is why I decided to create this account and make this post to hold myself accountable. I have a clear goal, I want to become independent of my worst vice, I want to improve myself, and I want to become the type of person that can develop friendships with other people, and maybe one day find a woman who wants to be with me, and make it so that all the effort my family put into helping me is worth something. There's a boxing gym close by to where I'm living now, and I thought joining could be a good first step to start socializing and help me release some of the tension from going on NoFap. Right now I'm pretty anxious about the changes going on in my life, but I'm trying to improve with all of you, so if anyone has any advice they are willing to give, I would be grateful. Thank you for reading.
