Hey everyone, Coming here today to make an update post and continuing to encourage you guys to stay away from porn. I made the horrific mistake of returning to porn and reestablishing an addiction to it after being 2 years porn free and fully rebooted from a previous 10 year addiction. This return to porn was mostly vanilla content and maybe 3 days a week at most, I thought because I was rebooted I could look at small bits like insta and reddit posts. Also hoped it would manage my libido well and help control premature ejaculation a bit - I couldn't have been more wrong. Currently still with my amazing girlfriend who has been supportive of me dealing with these awful sexual issues and helping me rewire. My libido however is still very low and sex is not how it should be after 176 days. My PE is very extreme and I'm currently trying a lot of methods to control such as tantric and taoist techniques as well as managing anxiety. I thankfully can still manage erections and I'm not an extreme PIED sufferer but flatline symptoms notably low libido and that cold feeling in the penile glans create a lot of anxiety and depression. My erections were probably 75% at best for the majority of this reboot and I only noticed a good >90% erection around day 137. Morning woods have been nearly non existent throughout which is concerning along with insomnia. They are sporadic and first one I remember coming back was Day 129 At Day 156 my morning woods returned for a week with nearly 100% erections which is a very promising sign but unfortunately they dropped off again on Day 163. Still in the up and down phase it seems. Hoping to see some more improvements soon as this flatline is absolute hell and I would not wish this torture upon anyone! Godspeed to everyone else here going through this - we're all going to get there!
Thanks for sharing. Sounds almost indentical to where I'm at. Can I ask how often you are having sex and if you still MOing? And do you go into flatlines after?
Trying to have sex often as possible without going overboard so maybe twice or 3 times a week. PE is usually awful for 1st round but under better control the 2nd day. Interestingly during that week where MW returned fully I could get fully hard with decent bit of libido and go again few hours later fully hard, that was very promising. I did fall flat hard after an O two weeks ago which was disappointing, no MW since. Thinking about re introducing MO outside of sex to ensure there's an erection daily and might help MW and libido..
My problem is every time I get out of Flatline, if I have sex and orgasm, I go back INTO flatline. Hoping the longer I go the more my brain heals and resists the flatlines after Orgasm
It happens also to those who made 90 days hard or even monk mode. That's unfortunately how lots of bodies reacts. I did 100 days prior of relapsing, and faced the same. First days after orgasm are quite "normal", with morning wood, then I have around ~20 days of missing morning wood at all and flatline. Then I start (slowly) to regain MW (only some days, with different hardness) but still low libido and sex drive. Maybe that's how it works (required a lot more time) for those who are over mid-30s.
I've been there before man and it definitely gets better. My first reboot was like this and eventually flatlines got weaker and weaker until I wasn't sure whether I was in flatline or not. Libido was fully healthy when I was with my girl and no issues with sex. I also noticed my erection quality get to new levels of hard maybe 9 or 10 months in. Time and good rewiring all that's needed but not knowing how much time it will take is a killer
Yeah I agree I think rewiring to real sex is key to full recovery and regaining libido. Combined with healthy lifestyle and hormone optimization. I wish we had more knowledge on best ways to tackle this I'm nearly 6 months in this horror now hoping it will end soon
Hi Fendi, Thank you sharing your story. I remember reading your posts when I first joined this forum. I have a question if you do not mind answering? What made you return to porn after being abstinent for so long? Did something happen that caused you to return to it?
Tests done, T was in healthy range but next step is to check other hormone profiles estrogen, prolactin etc to see if any imbalances.
Biggest regret of my life man honestly. My libido was sky high and I was away from my girl for a while abroad. Hit an MO from some insta girls and never affected anything but unfortunately the habit set back in after a while. Despite PMO again I had no sexual issues at all, libido was perfect and relationship was going great. I delusionally believed I had become a normal non addict person who could have good sex and dabble with a bit of PMO. Everything crashed after I had a PMO binge back in Oct. Went soft during next sex, got spooked and cut out the PMO cold turkey.
Damn, it must have been tough.. How bad was the Oct binge if you don't mind me asking? I am just trying to understand how much damage it takes to get someone back here.
Ah man. Sorry to hear you've gone back. Been there but my window of freedom was much shorter than yours lol. For me, it was watching porn 3 times within a week that sent me back. About 20 mins in total. It's so hard judging what to do next. Don't know whether to keep having sex – risking bad sex and bad flatlines after. Or just go on hard mode for as long as it takes to heal great. But, I worry with that second approach, I could be waiting for years... Also, last time I healed, it took me 5 months of mostly hard mode but sex/mo's a bout 2-3 times a month. I've gone over that this time and haven't healed yet. It's taking longer this time.
It was that month when I realized the addiction had set back in and I knew I needed to stop. I hit PMO 3 days in a row one week then had sex. During sex I went soft after a while and I knew something was off. Fear set in and I cut out PMO from that point, been feeling symptoms of flatline since
Yeah we're in a very similar position man. Great to hear you also healed previously. Our brains have done this healing before and should definitely be capable of doing it again. Interested in how just MO worked for you? I have never MO'd solo during a reboot, just O with GF, wondering if I should try it to maybe bring back some libido. I'm thinking because of my current PE issue thoughts of sex are creating more anxiety than excitement which could be prolonging this flatline a bit.
It's messy. I'm starting to think that hard mode is a bad idea – you're sending your brain into shock. Your going from years/decades of PMO to a monk overnight! That's a major shift for the brain – major. Not sure where I am with it exactly but I am starting to think that. Last time I healed, I did 90 days hard mode successfully. Then I MO every few weeks. One morning I woke up the day after an MO and I knew I was healed. It's so messy though man. It's a very slippery slope. I never worry about letting an MO esculate into a PMO – it's when I come home very drunk that I worry about PMO. So in summary, lol, I believe an MO to sensation only can help jolt you into life after a long break. But of course, that's bro science.
Some doctors says that 90 days "no porn" is needed, but after only 1 month you can restart to MO (with no porn of course) for max two/three times a week. I don't know, of course, if this advice is right or bad, but anyway...
Really? I've never told my doctor about this. I've never heard of a doctor acknowledging porn addiction? Where did you hear that out of interested?
What was it like being healed brother? Were you able to have successfully sex without getting the hangover later? And also where you able to get a proper erection the whole time during s*x and after O as well?
I was healed for a very short amount of time. Literally about a week both times. Didn't have sex but I was supremely confident it wouldn't be an issue. I MO'd a few times and it felt amazing and no hangovers afterwards. I could get a rock-hard erection just form a few seconds of fantasy or thinking back to old memories. That's what it was like for me; we're all different. I feel like I'm days away from healing again. I have MO's a few times over the last week or so and it's been pleasurable with no hangovers afterwards and very strong erections. Got a date soon and feeling good about having sex. Mental clarity isn't great though. We'll see. I'm 6 months exactly no porn. about 30 days hard mode and the rest a MO or sex every few weeks. No porn urges really – just urges to have great sex with women i care about.
