Mid 20s never been in a relationship. I feel like I've accomplished everything I wanted to in my life so far, however, I have been unable to court the opposite sex. It's almost like they're repulsed by me and I can't figure out why. They never seem interested in me and they always seem like there's a better option than me. It kinda hurts. I really want to change.
I don't believe that all of your suffering is because of your own decisions. Sometimes other people are picky. There's a lot to take into consideration.
What type of women are you going for? You have a type of woman that you want. What does she want? Become that. Mainly, what is the difference between the type of man you are and the type of man you want to be? I'm 29 and have had one relationship. Without that one relationship of six months back in my mid 20s, I'd be feeling the same way you are. I get it... I feel/know I have a lot to offer but it doesn't seem recognized.
I'm in the same boat as you. Never had a girlfriend. And I also have a hard time keeping friendships in the long run. All I have are acquaintances. But I'm also part of the problem Social Anxiety is killing me ... The other day I avoided a conversation with a female acquaintance even though she was a nice person and didn't give that "fuck off" vibe. I've noticed her but she didn't noticed me so I walked away. Maybe it's because I've been fucked over way too many times in the past that now I have trust issues. Nofap seems to be helpful because it makes me feel more aggressive but in a good way. I've noticed that my voice gets much deeper on long streaks like now. I know someone who fucks different women every weekend
The only way to get out of this messy situation is to do nofap forever ! It's the only way because it forces you to go talk to girls in the real world. I use my loaded up hormones to force myself into social settings.
The world is so weird sometimes... There are guys who mess around with women with ease ... Yet here we are struggling to get basic interactions... I don't even look ugly, i'm not fat neither... Sometimes I wonder if I come across as a bad guy ? I have to be more social ... I must try again !
That's the thing, I saw a post saying that women have been conditioned to be wary of men approaching them, of men walking around them on the street.. and men have been conditioned that they could get MeToo'd for approaching women or doing something strange. Makes it difficult... In my church as well, if you approach a single woman to talk to her, people think you want to ask her out. You just can't be friends..
Maybe being a virgin isn't necesseraly a bad thing ... Virgin or Not we will all go to the grave one day. We'll be back to the soil, where we came from ...
I'm wearing something pink right now - a pinkshirt from my nursing friend's cancer walk. Wear a cancer T-shirt or go to a cancer support event. One way to get to know women in a friendship manner. Costs as much as a date. No strings attached or dates expected. You can build enough of a rapport and short-term laugh based relationship so that you can ask them if you look menacing. Whatever they say, or if you're weird, you won't see them again. Might be bad if it seems like you're only there for women tho, and don't have a friend with cancer walking at the same event.
Hey bro, you're not alone. 31 and never been in a relationship. Focused all my life on 'good grades, then get a good job..' Not bad advice. But incomplete advice, really. Hang in there man. Do you have an idea of what it might be? why the lack of interest?
Tbh, I come from a conservative church where people get married young, so idk if it's happening in church "now too" or more likely was always that way in my church. I was on a group church outing and was talking to a girl, and another guy was like "SWS, its only day one of the trip, wait a bit to make your move".. he's a nice guy but it just shows how it is in my community.
I go to a conservative church too. Mostly married couples but theres a good number of single men and very few single women. Satan is laughing.
The last 3 churches I've been at, including my current one, lack members in their mid/late 20s, so literally there are no options. Church #1, Baptist church that I grew up in, the women are probably 7+ years younger, and in totally different social circles. Church #2, a CRC, literally one other woman in her early 20s. Everyone else was either a young couple or middle aged/seniors. (Asked her out, wasn't interested). Church #3 I'm at now, Anglican, is couples with young kids, and seniors. Completely bypassed millennials (I can count MAYBE 2 possible single ladies in their 20s. MAYBE). I don't know if I'm just going to churches that are outliers. Maybe it's a conservative church culture thing? Maybe millennial girls are all at those progressive, Hillsong-y, fog-machine churches? (Nothing against people who go to those, but I really can't make myself go to those.) I keep hearing how lopsided church stats are for female attendees. Unfortunately, in my experience, it has been... for females 60+.
You’re not wrong bro. Society is in a post religious era and I don’t see this changing, and since women are more susceptible to cultural programming than men are, you won’t find a lot of them in churches anymore. I hate to say it but for single men in modern times we might have to just accept that it’s Joever. It’s over.
I got super discouraged because even Pastor John MacArthur preached a sermon about the sad state of people not getting married and guess who he blamed at fault?! Yup you guessed it, Men. But I’ll give him a pass though because he’s just way out of touch being in his 80’s now.
I theorize it comes from a lack of confidence. I've never had a lot of confidence growing up due to bullying and other circumstances. In recent years I have created an identity for myself which has led to a greater sense of self-worth, however, I don't know what confidence feels like. Yes I have moment of self-assuredness and I act when I must as every man must do, but I have never felt confident. It's like a dog seeing in color to me I guess. Incomprehensible. I'm also naturally awkward, paranoid, and nervous which I have a hard time hiding in social interactions. I'm very neurotic.
My type is very simple (I think. I don't demand much) Really only three things. That she is a woman (One that was born a woman. Prolly gonna get banned for saying that ). She's nice. (I don't really like that whole strong independent woman thing, because I feel its an excuse to mask being a nasty person). And that I find her physically attractive (Which as long as she takes care of herself, which I do also then I will find her attractive)