Hi, Well I'm Garry, I'm 35 and have had been struggling with a porn problem for about 17 years. I reckon it has been worse at some points in my life than others, but only in the last 5 years have I really begun to see it as a problem. As such I started trying to curb my porn use with little success, the usual cyclical patterns that other people have talked about on here. Anyways, I've been reading up here and on all the related sites and feel way better equipped to take this on. To be honest it's pretty nerve wracking even just discussing this on a forum, but I reckon I'll have a better chance at this if I document my progress openly in this community. Did have a couple of questions that I am sure there will be threads about and maybe someone can give me some pointers. In times past when I had tried to quit porn (before finding this site or others) I found myself sitting with free time, totally confused as to what to do with it, anxious and unable to concentrate on even simple tasks or activities, this could last for well over a week, or would come and go even a week after quitting. I think the longest I have gone without porn is 3 weeks, and the longest without PMO maybe a week. What I want to know is, after going longer without PMO, do you start to just have other ideas about what to do with yourself? I'm assuming its not that easy and that you have to push yourself to try other things... if so what works best for people? Anyways despite the gnawing knot of anxiety in my stomach and difficulty concentrating, things are going well so far! I know I will feel better in a couple of days, as has happened in the past. My main worry is that I think I'm at my weakest after I have had a period of feeling good, a time in which I feel so good that I deny that I have any problem at all and that is when I easily slip back down the slippery slope and end up having to roll that big guilt boulder back up the mental health hill. I also hope quitting PMO will improve my use of metaphors. Garry
How to fill in the time? NoFap has a serious problem in thatit has no recovery program, it's only abstinence. Any addict can tell you that abstinence is not enough. It's necessary to work on recovery; to glean wisdom, direction, and guidance by studying material that causes inner reflection, identifying values, working on character defects, and so on. Recovery is a psycho/spiritual self-actualization process. It's much more than just figuring out how to deal with the basics of staying clean. Until we get the clarity of mind that comes from intensely working on actual specific recovery, we won't even be able to stay clean much less anything else. NoFap proves how necessary recovery work is. Without it, relapse is very common.
That very helpful and kind of a relief. I think I have been doing this 'recovery searching' anyway. Mostly just reading articles from related sites, and other peoples stories here in order to get a better grip on where I am at. I guess I was kind of beating myself up for not just suddenly getting out there and doing loads more stuff now I have this free time. Not to say that I am not gonna try and do those things too, but it's good not to feel pressured.
Hey Garry, I totally relate to the 'feeling good' can be a slippery slope. For me, its like "well, i did 'x' so well, now i can 'treat' myself or I 'deserve' to feel some pleasure, Ive earned it! Lots of rationalizations. So I have to watch out when feeling down or feeling too up..haha. I think for the other part, taking up a hobby or a project you have always wanted to do might give you something to do with that new free time. Also volunteering? Well, we both started around the same time here so I guess we will figure this out as go along. Congrats on 2 days!
Hi Sisyphus, I joined yesterday and I can't believe how many people have been going through the same thing. i think having the support will really help.
