Hello, I am Bingles. I am a 17 y/o High School student from Scotland who is struggling with PMO. This has been an ongoing issue for roughly four years now. Recently I have been turning to God for guidance, structure, and most importantly salvation. The first Bible verse I read was Proverbs 10:5 "He who gathereth in Summer is a prudent son; But he who sleepeth in harvest in a son that bringeth shame". Early bird gets the worm-type stuff. That served as the motivational backbone for me to pass my exams. This was at a time when I was truly in Hell both mentally and physically. I could feel my body decay during lockdown, staring at the ceiling for what seemed like weeks, months, years. I was a dumb idiot who wasted his youth and potential. Part of the reason I initially left Christ was because I felt there was a disconnection between me and the Church. The Protestantism I was raised with felt too much like a recent break in tradition where everyone has a modern song and dance with instruments. Pastors are easily stumped by silly atheist questions. Church numbers would dwindle as I got older and the only people there would be old granny's. Too washed up and diluted to take seriously. Whereas Catholicism has been shrouded in controversy since, well, forever and I was raised as a hardline CoS Prod so not a chance I would convert to RC anyway. And no offence towards any of these faiths, it just wasn't what led me to Christ. I respect all believers and non-believers of Christ. We all reach to Him in different ways. I found the Mull Monastery channel on YouTube around two years ago, an Orthodox monastery in the Outer Hebrides islands of my home country. I had a vague idea of what Orthodoxy was but knew nothing of the theology or reasoning that distinguished it from the rest of the denominations. Then I started falling down the rabbit hole of Orthobro influencers, you know the ones: OMS, Erhan, Dyer, Kyle etc. Not something I would recommend. And that's not to say that they are necessarily bad, rather, it's important to live and interact with/through the Church primarily rather than being chronically online mocking other faiths like people do on a certain bird app. The Orthodox Church isn't a lifestyle brand for self-improvement or an aesthetic but a real means of salvation. Going to church and listening to the liturgy evoked a feeling of ethereal tranquillity as if I were a child experiencing life for the first time. It felt right. So I kept going and now I wish to become a better man. Fyodor Dostoevsky was a brilliant Russian novelist who knew the true nature of reality after decades of suffering in Siberian labour camps. He knew that without God, there can be no such thing as ethics, or love, and thus then reality itself would be an anomaly. He helped articulate my worldview and navigate the storm of nihilism. So I looked around one day and saw Satanic imagery quite literally everywhere. On national television and in our politician's chambers. Our food is being poisoned and our history and traditions are erased. I could ramble about this forever but this is only an introduction. The point is, I wish to rejoin Christ and learn more. I am thick as a brick so take what I say with a grain of salt. I am learning slowly bit by bit. Cheers.
Praise the who reconciles us to himself through Jesus so that we may have new beginnings. 1 John 1:9 says “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from our unrighteousness.” though you feel you wasted the last 4 years, God is able to redeem that time when you commit to following him step by step.
Cheers Zilean. I know I can never truly cleanse myself of the sinful passions for it is my nature as man, and man has fallen. But I can repent and be redeemed in the Lord by acknowledging that He is the way, the truth and the life, and not focus on earthly pleasures. Just as a child can be forgiven for making a silly mistake. In time, I will grow and wish to join God.
Welcome to the Christian forum! You will find much support and camaraderie here. Love the profile pic.
Cheers Tao, it is a pleasure to be part of this community. A few months clean of P and doing my best to stay that way. The cat was originally named swgcat, but I renamed him Bingles. I am a connoisseur of the internet cat community.
“Christ is the only exit from this world; all other exits-sexual rapture, political utopia, economic independence-are but blind alleys in which rot the corpses of the many who have tried them” ― Fr. Seraphim Rose For those of you who have been around lurking on the orthobro clique online, then you'll know how much people obsess over Christian theology. Jay Dyer has made a career out of it for decades with several hours-long videos debating and discussing with other people. Recently, many Westerners converted from Protestantism and Catholicism to Eastern Orthodoxy due to wanting a Church that sticks to the original teachings and traditions of Christ, which is understandable. Protestantism is known for being a recent break in tradition, too "woke" and unserious for some people. And the Catholic Church has been met with controversy for reasons you'll already know. We're taught that only faith counts, to question anything at all whatsoever is an insult to God's authority and is a sin. Sit down and shut up. Have a sing-song with some band instruments with crackers and grape juice for communion, "praise da LAWD" some corrupt televangelist says as he drains grandma's bank account. The words of scripture boiled down to coffee bookshelf motivational quotes. This has conflicted with me for a long time, I feel as if this defies the purpose of scripture IMO. Faith that is blind isn't genuine, as I believe you need a true intricate understanding of why but not how to hold faith. Christ exists beyond our realm but He still loves us and wants us to understand why the world is the way it is. That is why He ordered the creation of the Bible, so that His word can spread. Much of the theology of the Church is not taught anymore within Protestant denominational churches and we are given this diluted form of scripture that infantilizes us with the barebone basics. "Do not commit sin", "Be a good person", and "Obey authority" - one-sided platitudes, and that's all that is hammered into us. Not the intricate teachings and traditions that truly make the Church distinct. It's no wonder people rebel and stray from God when everything is so square. If He was telling us to be only good people then God wouldn't have cast and condemned in the flesh His only begotten Son to our damned, sinful world, to save us. This leads me to the idea of theosis - union with God. It's not about the pursuit of heaven but a reconnection and relationship to God. There is a channel named harmony on YouTube that produces some amazing videos on the Orthodox Church. In the 1990s, an Orthodox Christian zine called "Death to the World" popped up, which made waves in the Punk Rock scene and influenced the online Orthodox culture today. Christianity was not viewed as a means of social control as it is in the modern context, but in the traditional context of the Last True Rebellion. To renounce worldly pleasures in pursuit of a Higher purpose - God's will. Without God, we are dead as we live, zombies devouring one another. What pushed me from God was this dilution of scripture, which led to dwindling numbers of people who then trusted 'the' science which required equally as much faith. Many viewed it as naive and uneducated to abide by religious rules while they were out engaging in lustious and obscene acts. This quote by Fr. Seraphim Rose shows us that Christ is the only escape from this world because all other efforts are futile. We allow ourselves to become no better than animals because we think we are. I can't help but feel this is sinisterly done on purpose. The constant schisms will lead us to damnation by blinding us from the Truth of God.
Welcome, Bingles, to the Christianity group! If you don't mind, I'd like to interact a bit with what you say here. Your post is spot-on in regards to much of Protestantism. It has been reduced, by and large, to slogans and entertainment. An inch deep and a mile wide. I would argue that it is so thin in some cases as to not even be Christian. As you noted, many pastors don't know the basics of the faith, the Scriptures, or how to offer a defense when needed. But I would like to suggest that the problem here is not with Protestantism per se. There are still faithful Protestant churches. You just have to know how to look for them. If you are/were CoS, see if you can find some more conservative denominations to try. I am not in the UK, so I don't know the "church scene" there, but I am sure there are better churches than what you have experienced. All three of these churches--Protestantism, Roman Catholicism, and Eastern Orthodoxy--claim, in their own way, to stick to the original teachings and traditions of Christ. You should dive into these claims in each case and get to the bottom of what they mean. In Roman Catholicism, they believe in an unbroken apostolic succession and that one pope reveals to the next pope an unwritten tradition that Christ gave to Peter. Thus, to stick to the "original teachings and traditions of Christ," one must submit to the Pope. There is no other way. Personally, I believe their claim to unbroken apostolic succession is historical revisionism at best. Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy are similar--in contrast to Protestantism--in that they believe the Scriptures are the fruit/product of the church, and merely one instantiation of inspired revelation. In other words, they are not "Scripture alone." When you join one of these communions, you are submitting to the idea of "I need more revelation than just the Scriptures." Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy conceive of this extra-Biblical tradition in different ways, for sure. But I can say I've never met a Catholic or Orthodox Christian who spent a lot of time reading the Bible or being all that knowledgeable about the Bible because, frankly, there are plenty of other important things to know in those two traditions, and the sacraments and experience tend to be central. I'll give an anecdotal example of something that actually happened to me. A friend of mine and his wife are Eastern Orthodox. They told me bishops in the Orthodox church may not be married. So I pulled out my Bible and read this verse to them: 1 Timothy 3:2: Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, ... The word "overseer" is the Greek word ἐπίσκοπος/episkopos, which can just as well be translated "bishop" (older English translations translate the word this way; newer translations use "overseer" so as to distance themselves from hierarchical churches). So the Apostle Paul explicitly says in this letter that a bishop should be the husband of one wife. I do not believe Paul is requiring a man to be married to serve as a bishop. This is the Greek equivalent to saying "a bishop must be a one-woman man," as in, faithful to his one wife if he happens to be married. So my friend and his wife were utterly stumped by my reading this one verse, and say they'd never even seen this verse before. They went on to claim that, well, the church later learned after Paul that it would be better for bishops to remain celibate. Okay, but which is the apostolic tradition? What Paul says about bishops being married in a legit New Testament letter, or what later Orthodox tradition decided to settle on? Protestantism's conception of being true to the original teachings of Christ means simply that we have no revelation of Christ besides the apostolic revelation of the New Testament Scriptures. Thus, to return to Christ's teachings means rejecting as authoritative everything but what is in the Bible. This doesn't mean other writings can't be helpful, but does mean that the Bible and the Bible alone is foundational for faith and practice. This was what the Reformation was about: a restoration of Christian belief and teaching that goes back to what Christ and the apostles actually taught and did, instead of (what the Reformers/Protestants considered to be) the innovations in doctrine and practice that had gradually accumulated and overshadowed what the Bible actually teaches. Go ahead and read Mark 7:1-13. Protestants believe what Jesus says here can still happen today--hence justification for the Reformation of the 16th century--whereas the Roman Catholic Church and Eastern Orthodox Church ipso facto believe Jesus' teaching here cannot happen in their own respective churches. Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox traditions may be "old," but the Bible is obviously older, so far as Christian belief and practice goes. None of this is intended for entering any sort of theological debate. I only meant in this reply to show what the historic Protestant position is, since it is unclear to me that you understood this. Obviously, I speak as a historic/confessional Protestant. Orthodox and Catholic believers would surely quibble with the way I put things above. Feel free to go down whatever path you choose and may the Lord bless you as you seek to follow him.
I spent an hour typing up a response and it got deleted because I timeout. ;_; But thank you for the warm welcome, I appreciate it. I am looking forward to returning to faith. I was raised in the Church of Scotland at Douglas parish church for many years then fell out of it. My brother was baptized then renounced his faith a year later. The Orthodox Church feels like a breath of fresh air to me, I feel alive and happy for the first time in years. I'm glad to be on this journey,
I have been ill, not doing all too great. Happens when I am off school for a long time. Sat in bed and watched football all day. Hoping to kickstart back again tomorrow. Romans 18:18. Amen.
One thing I do prefer and miss about Protestantism to Orthodoxy is how much easier it is to assimilate and feel part of a community. You can walk into just about any church and feel at home. But with Orthodoxy, you've got to your homework. It is very different from Western traditional churches. I like the warm and cozy environment of Protestant churches, sing-songs around the campfire. But again I just can't take it seriously because the church itself doesn't feel serious enough. Pride flags outside the church feels hypocritical and I don't mean that to degrade LGBT people as I am one myself. Church of England is done and the Church of Scotland is on it's way out soon enough. Picking and choosing what to add, remove and ignore in scripture isn't my cup of tea. Orthodox Churches are autocephalous meaning each Christian nation tends to have it's own governing patriarch. Serb, Russian, Greek, Bulgarian, Romanian etc. Very easy to feel like an outsider when Orthodoxy can come across as an ethnically exclusive religion. I feel alone in this journey, the church I go to speaks only in Romanian and I'm Scottish with no ties to Romania or Orthodoxy beyond a basic interest in Eastern theology from the Internet. I realize I am taking risks and don't want to mess up. But this is what God intended, salvation at any cost. No matter how difficult the struggle because it's all temporary. The harsh reality I must confront.
The Church of England and the Church of Scotland are liberal (theologically and politically, but I am primarily speaking of the theology). Only a small external husk remains. The actual core of the Christian faith was jettisoned from those denominations a long time ago. They don't believe the inerrancy of the Bible, they don't believe in sin, they don't believe the virgin birth, they don't believe in the deity of Christ, they don't believe in the resurrection, they don't believe in judgment or hell or even heaven. They'll use these terms, so they may sound Christian, but don't be deceived. They redefine every term according to their modernist/enlightenment rationalist faith. If there is a pride flag outside a church building, it ceased to be a true church of Jesus Christ decades ago. These churches are not "Protestant" in any meaningfully historic sense. They are synagogues of Satan. They are indistinguishable from the world. If you want to check out a truly Protestant church, check out the Free Church or Free Church (Continuing). These are denominations that continue in the spirit of the historic Church of Scotland. I am not Scottish, but I am familiar with Reformed and Presbyterian church history.
The broad brush of Protestantism used here I disagree with until I remember that it’s anyone outside of orthodox and Catholics. Being around Baptist and Assemblies of God churches, I’d say they are alive and well. Baptist, at least southern Baptist, hold really strong to scripture and the best churches are missions minded and discipleship focused. Small groups being core to the experience.
3-1 loss to Ross County, it's over lads... (also I apologize for not responding to your replies, I have been busy)
Not too good tbh, tomorrow is my last day of high school. I don't want to go in, I have hated every second I was there. But my only other option is to sit at home feeling sorry for myself. I relapsed to gay p and I feel like a complete degenerate. Didn't plan on it, I was clearing my college laptop so I can return it but realized the filters were done, so I gave into the urges. Felt completely hollow afterwards. I have been having rubbish thoughts lately, it's been a struggle to cope with them. Hard to articulate my thoughts over a keyboard. There isn't much I can do besides endure it and continue on. Watched a football game with my dad yesterday and I swear the team invents new ways to disappoint, it's like they are deliberately trying to crush my spirit. It sucks man.
Don't let circumstances dictate how you will feel. Focus on the truth of God's mercy and move on from there. If things bring you down, move on from them and find other things that bring you up!
Amen. I stay up sometimes and wonder "How can God forgive the animalistic filth that is sin?", He doesn't have to by any means. But He loves us and knows we're too dumb, to put it bluntly. We are naive, selfish, perverted little creatures anointed with powers beyond any other being on earth. We willingly indulge in worldly pleasures to fuel the passions that subside and rot us from within. But Christ knows, and Christ still loves us either way. No matter what we do, we will never be able to reach the level of divinity and perfection of God because humans have been immersed in sin since conception. The only way to rectify this is through baptism, being reborn through Christ. Because if we try to shun away from our sin, and live a life close to God, we can redeem ourselves in His Name and Glory. If I wanted to, I could lead a life of sin. Engage in sodomy, consume illicit substances, embracing vulgarity and lust. But where would that lead me? What would I have possibly gained from that besides short-term pleasure and an early death? THAT is a chemical reaction. Dopamine and serotonin create happiness; not satisfaction - satisfaction with one's place as a son of God. The chemical soup in your brain is what gives the passion strength because you allow your impulses to take control. That inner animal within you will try and tear you apart and it's your metaphysical duty to say no. You want the raw, real authentic reality? Embrace Christ. Stop eating processed garbage made of sewage powder they put in energy drinks. Stop masturbating in VR. Stop looking at screens all day, and start going to church, go outside and hunt your own food. That's what life is all about. You feel alive and free. The devil doesn't need to learn new knowledge like we do, he is a fallen angel and was popped into existence with full knowledge of how we as a species work and the complex systems and schematics that our world is built upon. He was like a fetus in the womb with the wisdom and knowledge of a man on his deathbed, times to a degree we cannot comprehend. If you think you have an edge over him in any way besides following the Word of God then he's ten steps ahead. The devil has already claimed you as his own. He will find ways to crush and tear apart your soul you never even knew possible. So subliminal you wouldn't even notice. P is one of them, it's ingrained so heavily into our society that it has become normalized. Why? Because he is a loser and wants us all to be like losers like him. He knew fully well God's plan and God's reasoning more than anyone else did, and he got cast down to earth with the rest of us because of his own ego. And he throws a temper tantrum, making it his life mission to cast us down to Hell for no reason besides a stupid angst against his Heavenly Father. All that potential and divine power wasted. So why be like him? If you focus only on your sins, then you will never outgrow them. His anger and bitterness will cost him a thousandfold on the day of judgement, and I pray we all go to heaven. God is merciful because He has lived our lives again and again and He knows our thoughts better than we do. He knows our struggles and died on the cross so that we can be blessed with the chance of being in His eternal kingdom despite our flaws. Romans 18:18 is a good example of what you say. You must forgive who you are and endure the struggles of the present, no matter how painful or difficult, as the Glory of God will be revealed within you. Forgive yourself for what you stand to achieve. No point in grovelling over spilled milk. We get back up and keep going. God will talk to us like we're idiots because in truth we are. Just got to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and keep going. i am very tired zZZ
