So here we are again, fresh from another reset after what I swore was going to be the last time. Feeling deflated and defeated, I want to blame the hyper-sexualised world we live in. Twitch streamers, adverts, Instagram reels. Wherever we go, we're not far from reminders of our libido. But I can't change the world. I have no control over it. The only control I have is over my own actions, my own thoughts, and in this case it wasn't just a simple moment of weakness. It was that constant voice in the back of my head that says "Ha, you think that was the last time? Just you wait. Just once more, what harm can it do?" And the only thing I can do is practice steeling myself against it until it holds no power over me. It won this time, but I'm still getting stronger, and this time, just maybe, it might be my turn to win.
I stay the heck away from Twitch and Instagram for my sanity. If not, I would still be acting out to PMO.
Be gentle with yourself, brother. This is a brutally hard addiction to get over. And there's no value in berating yourself. Self-condemnation just leads to depression, which makes you think, "hmmmm ... well, I know one thing that's sure to make me feel better, at least temporarily ..." and back to PMO we go. It's a road to insanity. You're not wrong. And all the more reason to give yourself grace. The deck is stacked against you. But the fact that you're here and talking about it is incredibly heartening. I encourage you to take some time to meditate on what your ideal, recovered life might look like. I personally think we underestimate how good sexual sobriety can be. We acknowledge that PMO and addictive sex is bad for us, but deep-down, we sometimes believe that without it, life will be dull and boring. But it's just the opposite. In sobriety, life isn't just better--it's fantastically, amazingly, stupendously better. Meditate on that. Make the colors bright and saturated in your mind. Make it a picture of absolute joy and fulfillment. Make it look so good that even the hottest big booty model couldn't pull you off-track.
don't stay at home as much as possible. make friends , roam out. Exercise, join a hobby - learn a foreign language, painting, music etc etc. Free time and leisure is the main culprit --although I also agree, this is by far the worst addiction that I know of.
