Hello, I'm on day 3 of Resetting, and I hate this. I've been told I need to replace the old habits with new good ones, but I can't find anything that occupies my time like I need it to. I already journal, I could be more dedicated to working out, and I play some games, but nothing seems to fill the void. I quit smoking pot a few months back, and it looks like this is just compounding the quitting problem I have there, too. That is to say, I'm so incredibly bored. Meditation is just 5 (or however many) minutes of frustration, exercise isn't really sustainable, and everything feels like a chore. I've also been told that I need to change my mindset around life, but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do that. Everything is miserable and tasking. Even video games are a task at this point. Some other advice I've gotten is to remember my why, and that advice has never resonated with me in any arena. I don't know why I do anything. Pleasure-seeking, I suppose. Do I want to have a better body? Eh. Do I want more money? Only insofar as having as much as I need to survive but not enough to start a side hustle. Do I want a better relationship? I honestly find that entire set of actions a MASSIVE chore that I can never work up motivation around. What else is there? What did I miss? Why bother?
Going through a reset is primarily about allowing your nervous system to reboot itself, so you can heal once and for all. So to recover as quickly as possible your want to try and keep artificial stimulation to a minimum. The problem is when you step away from all of your usual addictions (smoking pot, video games etc) the feelings of boredom and an emptiness is going to come up. As hard as it is to believe, the feelings of boredom and the deep void are what keep you stuck in your addiction. The feelings are subtle at first, but you are likely pleasure seeking to avoid experiencing boredom and emptiness. It is no different from eating when you are hungry, or sleeping when you are tired. Your aim should be to avoid PMO and other high stimulation activities, but if you want to plough through recovery, your primary objective should be sit in those feelings of boredom and "the void" for as long as you can. When you can sit in those feelings for long enough the urge to escape to PMO, weed or other activities will disappear. You will be able to CHOOSE what activity you want to do in that moment. Many people will say you need to replace your PMO addiction with something else - they are not totally wrong. But the cheat code to recovery is learning to sit in that boredom and empty feeling for as long as you can. It is the feelings that cause you to pleasure-seek but the process happens so quickly that you likely do not notice it. From what you wrote it sounds like you are actually going about things in a positive way. You journal, you quit smoking pot, and you try to meditate all of which seems positive. But pulling yourself away from so many activities at once may cause you to lean on PMO even more so. Hence why you may relapse after just a few days. If things get too hard, try swapping out PMO for a different activity to ease the load. Things are going to feel bland and boring for a while, but it 100% will get better if you keep going. Avoiding PMO is always a positive step, but in your case I would aim to sit in that feeling of boredom and emptiness for as long as you can. It will kill your addictions at the root. Even if you manage just 5 minutes a day, start by doing activities that allow you to clear your head.
