I have a theory. It could be completely wrong. Addicts have the greatest potential. Many of us struggle with compulsive addictive behavior. Many carry the burden of shame day after day. For a society that worships the broadcasting of every insecurity, illness, or trauma one has, struggling with porn seems so unfair. Why can others blather on about their problems, while I have to carry this secret alone? At least alcoholics are somewhat 'normalized' in society. Everyone and their mother has depression. And everyone else has panic disorder or GAD. Porn addiction is more like heroin in terms of stigmatization. We have this secret burden to haul around, and yet we still carry out our duties and responsibilities. Most of us carry on with responsibilities at school, work, home. We function in society, hold decent jobs, have some form of relationships, pay bills, haven't killed someone, or offed yourself. Some take care of kids, some care for their grandparents, some help their parents around the house (and enough of this bulls*** about not being a man if you're 30 and living with your parents. This is such a superficial examination. A guy living with his parents who holds a job, is responsible, respects his parents, contributes to family, is more of a man than some guy living on his own, smoking dope all day, who can't get along with anybody or hold a job. The issue is character. Not living arrangements. Sick of seeing this condescending attitude to guys who are trying to make things work, but just happen to live with their parents) If you can do these things while struggling with self loathing, shame, addiction, constant failure of NF streaks month after month, imagine what you could do when you become FREE of it. Some of you could probably be Mozarts if the addicted half of your brains were hyperfocused and re-wired to put 110% into music. Or technology. Or writing. Be the next Elon Musk. Be the next great literary giant. Take life as it is, a Gift. REALIZE and ACTUALIZE what God put in your hands. Your passion and purpose. Tomorrow is never guaranteed, but if it comes, it is always a chance for turning life around. So what, you binged to porn for 5 hours yesterday? Or 10 hours today? That time is GONE forever. Ok we mess up. We disappoint ourselves and those around us. Ok, accept it. Now what? Of all the possibilities, why did YOU show up on the planet? at this point in space and time? There is greatness locked inside each of us, potential we can't imagine. Am I going to sit here and let some videos of naked people put an end to what I can truly become? Am I going to let my shame strangle me and end this gift of my being? Those of us who have gone through the hellfire of this addiction have an advantage to those who have not. We learn to persevere. This thorn in our flesh forces us to contend with what it means to be human, to strive. It doesn't look like it at the time, but this is actually a gift in disguise. Who is stronger, the one who never falls? Or those who fall over and over and over again, only to get up every time? That's essentially what reps are at the gym. And that's what produces strength gains. The repetitions. Thanks PORN. I've fallen under your weight countless times, but I get up every time. So now the biceps of my soul are MASSIVE. SUCK ON THAT Show yourself, and the world, that you OVERCOME shitty times, because you've been shitty/perverted/addicted in the past. You've come face to face with it because it is INSIDE YOU. And guess what, it hasn't won the war, IF you choose to get up again. "Ok , that was me in the past. Which is GONE. What can I aim towards being TOMORROW? " BELIEVE + ACT IRON IS FORGED IN THE FIRE
i agree 100% with your statement. Living life like we’ve been living while still doing things is incredible. Being at school or at work with the urges and all and still being able to work normally is insane. we have been used to live everyday life at 5% of our capacities while other people use maybe 50% for the same tasks. Our biggest weakness is also our biggest strength.
I just relapsed from one of my longest streaks and felt discouraged that I still haven't overcome this addiction, but reading this really resonated with me and brought me to tears. Thank you for writing this. We persevere!
YES brother! We always can choose to get back up. We always can choose a better tomorrow Don't give up on yourself!
% Let us learn how to subdue our demons, so that we all become Better Men. What doesn't kill us, makes us better (if we choose. And we can always choose)
Our addictive tendencies have another added benefit. They give us a head start into acknowledging our 'shadow' side. For addicts, this shadow side has done us a favor. It has broken through into our consciousness whether we like it or not. It's basically screaming HERE I AM!! Good. Now we know what we are dealing with. We aren't deluded into thinking "oh yeah, I'm a pretty good guy. I have no issues really". The person who says this is not healthy. If you are human , you are unhealthy. It's only a matter of how well you hide the illness. Addicts have the benefit of facing reality head on. We are slapped in the face with reality, we understand the human condition, because we see it first in ourselves. And then only after knowing we are sick, do we know we need the Cure. The Cure is to expose the sickness. The dark thing. Like what Moses did with the bronze serpent on a pole. The people, bitten by poisonous snakes, were healed only after they looked at it. (starts at 4:20) Not only look at it. But Cast it into bronze. Someone made the point that the snake wriggles and squirms to get free when caught. This is like our shadow side. We don't want to pay to much attention to it. We try to ignore and push it away. Casting it into a solid object freezes it in time. Allows you to put it "under a microscope" . To look it square in the face. And deal with it (“Integrating the Shadow” : https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podca...-4-in-the-series/id1585679369?i=1000616367847 The antidote is in the poison. The medicine is in the mayhem. Healing comes when we will look the snake in the face.
