A Beautifully Healed Marriage, Now Protecting Our Children:

The last 7-Years have been very trying.

My husband and I have experienced an extremely difficult yet blessed 7-year journey in overcoming our abusive childhoods together and the abuse from our family systems that resulted in early porn addiction and trauma for both of us, which our family systems exposed us both to at young ages resulting in addictions and confusion.

NoFap has been a helpful tool in journaling for me personally to provide a space to "sort myself out" and undo the lies and support others with the same unfortunate experiences.

We have been healing our marriage and growing together, overcoming all pornography, confusion, and unclean desires.
The evil we've both endured in our family upbringings have equipped us and given us the courage and emotional strength to take on and face darker forces brewing in certain parts of our world.

Now that we have healed tremendously in our journey, we want to do absolutely everything we can to make sure that the next generations are safe and that our kids are protected, wise, and free.

Protecting Your Daughters From "That Guy:"

We do not have children yet, but we are still young and we preparing to as the Lord wills.

My hubby says that I've empowered him to become an incredibly strong man far more than his own mother and father have done for him and any pastor. I likewise observe and feel that he has helped me to become the best I can be more than anyone in my own life.

My husband sent this video to me the other day and he told me he loves this more than words can say. I agree with everything he states in this video. I would like to share it here to encourage other men--to provide some guidelines to know how to be a man that protects his kids, especially little girls that you do have or one day will have, and to encourage women to know what to look for in a man and as a father:



Raising the next generation is critical. We cannot ignore them. There is indeed an assault on their innocence that is brewing in very dark places which cannot be ignored. As adults, we need to teach them how to navigate a profoundly sick and sexualized culture, how to stay pure, how to love God, others, and themselves, how to fight and rebound, how to reason and think critically through a sexualized culture, how to care for the weak, and how to respect the opposite sex and to respect and love themselves.

Porn destroys all of this.
Stop porn.
Do not become "that guy."

My husband stated toward my own situation with my own abusive father:

"Every time I think about how your dad treated you the anger just starts building in me. It's inexcusable. What weak, spineless man makes his daughter feel small so he can feel big? No, that's no kind of man. It's better that he's a hermit because anyone who's half a man wouldn't give him the time of day. Detestable. A man uses his own strength to lift his children higher.
There's a huge statue somewhere in Africa that's a perfect visual representation of this."

Uplift the next generation. Heal first. It starts with us.

 

Thank you, I feel incredibly blessed to have him, too. Praying for your pursuit, also.

 

Indeed. It saddens me how our society has trailed away from point #1 that you bring out here.
It is my desire to help other women learn how to love their husbands, how to stand alongside him, teaching them how to uplift their men and how to fight alongside him in the real war that we are all in.

It breaks my heart that our society has become so conditioned to believe that relationships are a selfish game. The children are suffering from this confusion and the breakdown of family, of course. People are turning to extremes on both sides to try and remedy this breakdown.
Generational lack of proper and protective parents created so much trauma where the wives are wanting their husbands to be their fathers and husbands are wanting their wives who are their mothers--creating no room for partnership. We really need to heal and overcome the damage that was and is being done done overall. The breakdown of family is causing this pandemic and more. I can go on and talk about how modern feminism, media, and certain politics have destroyed the concept of family, love, and partnership in marriage but that's another topic.

Thank you for your comment and your encouragement. Blessings, and respect to you as well.

 

That's awesome that you are taking on this journey!
That is one of the best decisions you can ever make for yourself and your loved ones around you. By giving it up completely, you aren't missing anything. I wish you well in your overcoming.

I remember hearing about Tony Dungy's book "Quiet Strength" on a podcast back when I was a teenager--I have not heard of "Uncommon," but I hope it serves you well.

Two books that I gifted to my husband while were dating when it comes to shepherding the hearts of men are "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge, and "Tender Warrior" by Weber. He said these 2 books have helped him at the beginning of his journey.

A few additional books that have helped me personally in my own journey in addiction recovery have been "Healing the Wounded Heart" by Dan Allender, "Exposing the Rejection Mindset" by Mark DeJesus, and all other resources by him.

Wishing you the best.