Man you just list exactly what I have been going throu since years and never was able to even describe this not even to myself. Bro honestly you gave me hope that I can do it. I am so depressed because the most I been with no pmo is 2 weeks. I wish you the best and I am starting to read about it and start today is 1st. I really need support because my will power is so weak, no confidence, no hope, depress, weak but I swear your post make me read my life story. I really need to change for my kids and family and for my self. It just hurts a lot because I relapse and give up easily. I will read your post daily. And o hope I can find help.