Day 15/21 - complete. recently, i started doing some 'yoga meditation' by rupert spira. it focuses on the tensions in the body and I find it helps with those impulses. to be explored...
Going through your thread gave me so much hope and a clearer perspective on why I’m doing this whole thing. I’m starting a similar 21 day No Porn from tomorrow, inspired by you. I’ve tried doing this NoFap so many times and failed miserably, since my goal was not clear. But I hope now I have a clearer goal to reach. And more power to you
Day 21/21 - complete Honest Reflection and Self Assessment: The 21 days was tougher than the 7 day challenge. I will break this down in terms of my 'wins' and 'failures' wins: 1. for the past 21 days, I consumed less porn than I can imagine from recent years. drastic cut in watching videos. This is significant, as a chronic consumer of these addictive videos, I had a sober 21 days. (for the most part, more on that below) 2. I brought conscious awareness of my mind need to find an outlet to escape boredom, not wanting to acknowledge that feeling of restlessness than i've been trying to escape. Gabor mate famously said ' don't ask why the addiction, but why the pain'. Taking the steps for abstinence is making me recognize that there is pain in me, and I've medicated myself with p. failures: 1. my mind sought new dopamine pathways to compensate for the high I got from p previously. For the duration of the challenge, i watched a lot of tiktok videos. there was a small voice in me telling me that this is also a problem, but the other part was like 'its not part of the challenge, its ok!'. I never watch much tiktok in the past, so there is a definite correlation there. 2. i watched 'sexually provocative' videos that were not porn. mostly on youtube, etc. and it was, from time to time, compulsive and chronic. My honest assessment is doing the challenge helped me making some 'wins' and finding my 'failures'. Its a progressive path, of self honesty, and much needed compassion (which i lacked). The long term goal, is to see how obsolete and meaningless p is, and find a healthy sexual life again. I will do a new challenge, this time i was to make it small and more manageable. i will be a 7 days challenge. no porn, M+O is okay, without limits. And also, no sexually provocative videos on tiktok and social media. I am doing it for 7 days, as i feel i will cheap and be dishonest if i fall back in those patterns again. with 7 days, if i fail for one day, i will retroactively go back one day. so if im on day 5, and i watch p, i can back to day 4. The goal is a clean 7 days challenge. I will create the tread for the new challenge tomorrow. Also, a few people here liked and commented on my posts. I want to say thank you, as I felt i was part of something larger than myself, and that keeps my motivation up. Much appreciation!
